60% of Our Happiness Is Down To This...
Welcome to the one day at a time podcast where we forget about yesterday. We don't worry about tomorrow. It's what are we going to do today? This all matters because you've only ever had or will ever have the fantastic twenty four hours a day you're about to embark on. Hopefully this episode is going to give you some daily dose of wisdom that you can take action on today to improve your life.
Speaker 1:Remember, all it takes is one day at a time. Good morning, everyone. I am trying to get back into these voice notes with a bit more energy, but my throat's not a % there, so bear with me. There will be more energy in the future. But today, what are gonna talk about?
Speaker 1:Well, as mentioned in previous voice notes, one of my new favorite authors is Alain de Breton, so the founder of the School of Life. You can go and visit in London. Listening to his talks and stuff, the guy the way he dissects wisdom over the ages is just awesome. So you had a few notes from a talk. I watched this talk, I don't know, like, two weeks ago, and I saw a few people I follow then watch it.
Speaker 1:And it's an old talk. It's like, wow. That's that's that's a coincidence. But the stat that really stuck me from this talk is that on our relationships, the quality of primary relationships is 60% of happiness and life satisfaction. How mad is that?
Speaker 1:60% of our happiness and life satisfaction comes from our primary relationships. I'm not sure what exactly primary relationship is that. Is that your partner? Is that your family? But if that's the case, right, and we're trying to improve our health and fitness and all our stuff, then and we're not addressing our primary relationships.
Speaker 1:Are we doing ourselves a disservice? Are we are we kind of papering over the cracks and not really dealing with what the, what the underlying causes of our happiness or fulfillment, isn't it? So this got me thinking, like, we obviously do book club, and we try and bring these things to the surface. We can chat about life with a turtle membership. We do have the Tuesday mindset with Dean as well.
Speaker 1:And then we're gonna have we're gonna keep going on with the weekly mental health with Ryan Williams. But I think it's important for all of you to start thinking about, like, are your prime relationships in a good place? And if they're not, are you spending an adequate amount of your time to improve them as a percentage of your time spent? And if not, then you're not really spending time in the best return on investment ways. Could be spending you know, the eighty twenty rule, 20% of your 20% of your, you know, do ins will give 80% of results.
Speaker 1:So 20% of your business activities brings 80% of your revenue. It could be the case where you spend 20% of your time on your relationship, it brings you 80% of your happiness or your fulfillment. That could be kind of the case of 4% brings you 64%. So 4% of your time spent could give you 64. That could happen.
Speaker 1:So you'd have to spend 60% of your time because it's 60% of your happiness. Does that make sense? You'd have to do that. You do need to look in because I think it's important like health and fitness. And I've seen loads of people from the membership going back a year or two is now wherever we've done the challenges is like improving our health, improving our fitness, getting the endorphins going, giving ourselves routine, knowing that we're improving our bodies, even when all around us is crumbling.
Speaker 1:It can be so it can be a saviour, it can literally be a lifesaver. So you don't have to have everything fixed in the other party life to start health and fitness and stuff like that. And I've seen people whilst on the journey and they feel better about themselves and their fitness and health can better, they then decide to take big major action on other parts of their life, usually with their primary relationships. So that I've seen that happen. And you start thinking, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly. So, you know, you get into you get into, like, you build momentum with your health and fitness, and you feel better by yourself, enables you then to tackle the main thing that's really gonna be causing life satisfaction to go up and down in the relationships, then you gotta start taking action there. Right? So really, this voice notes just to make you to get you to think about that stat and changing job has a huge impact on life satisfaction of course, primary relationships, and then our health. Those are like the three cornerstones, isn't it?
Speaker 1:He then talks about like ancient Greeks and he talks about the ancient Greeks idea of love and relationships and he says that loving, you know, people in the old people today go, you should love me for who I am. If you don't love me for who I am, that's terrible right? The Greeks would go oh stupid no we should both be changing with each other helping each other improve each other that's what we should do and we should love and relationships in a classroom we should both be teaching each other and helping each other along the way and we should be changing of course We're changing all the time, either for good or bad. That a very different definition. They didn't go into it going, you need to be exactly perfect.
Speaker 1:And if you if you want me to change, then terrible. That's really bad. They think it's toxic, Anthony. That's another thing he brings into this chat and it's like gets you thinking different, right okay well yeah that makes sense. And he says then it's easy for us to think that we're too selfish but in fact most of us aren't anywhere near selfish enough.
Speaker 1:We're not used to putting our own needs once desires centre stage because we're good, you know, comma, comma, people. So if I dared to be more selfish I would what? How would that change your life? If I dared to be more selfish today, if I dared to be more selfish in my life, what would you do differently? Answer that question, think about it and answer that.
Speaker 1:I think this is all links in like, we're not tail, the thing with turtle and stuff, we're dull, we're not stupid. They were like, oh yeah, everything's about being fit and getting some biceps and then your life's complete. We know that the reason people are coming to improve their health and fitness is because of the more often than not they're not happy with their life at all. There's some things wrong and they need some kind of direction pathway to go up and then once they've been given that direction, they then start taking it on themselves and they bring other people on there with them, they support other people, they become new guiding lights for others, friends and family. And they make decisions they never thought they would be able to make because there's new confidence.
Speaker 1:So we know this is the journey a lot of you are on and we're not gonna and I know we need to actually help more with these things that are outside of the fitness realm not just talking about fitness stuff. Need to actually like we're doing the mental health stuff with Ryan Williams who qualified mental health nurse for over a decade, right? We're not going to mess about these things. They're very serious matters. So this is just just for you to get thinking.
Speaker 1:It is important to get thinking about these things. And if you do wanna chat with Ryan and stuff like that, great. And if you got any ideas for how we can improve the membership, do we need to bring in do need to bring in relationship counselors, but some sort of dialogue about things that are, you know, outside health and fitness in in a in a more, like, specific sense, like a relationship sense in terms of friends, family, partners, like, that could be a very specific q and a. Do you mean? Obviously that's what therapy is for and if any of you if you can afford to go to therapy and do it, great.
Speaker 1:But in reality a realisation I had the other day was there is only self therapy. Isn't it? So you think about it. You speak to a therapist, listen, they listen, isn't this lovely? And they go, can you, clarify what you meant with that?
Speaker 1:Alright, but you just said earlier that, so do you think that that contradicts that? And then you go, yeah. And you're like, actually they just make you realise things yourself. If you think about it, it's all you coming to realisations through their guidance. In therapy I've even been in and stuff like that, that's kind of what it looks like it is.
Speaker 1:So we can become our own therapist over time once we can look at our thought process and pick out things. Most of us, it's very hard to do this because you need a lot of self awareness and a lot of time and patience. But someone else doing it for us is really helpful because they got the professional background as well. But ultimately, we want to get to the point where we can be self therapy. In CBT, you can do a lot of these tools that you can do these things yourself, and you can journal yourself, and you can do a lot of these things.
Speaker 1:And obviously, I'm talking here about, like, like, what's the word? Moderate cases, you know, extreme cases. Of you're gonna need professionals there majority of the time right, can't just say do self therapy, happy day is easy, oh well done Scott, great advice. What I'm saying is that therapy is a way to self therapy because you have to, you have to help yourself for it to work, you have to become to the realizations yourself, you have to want to improve or you want to, you must want to do X for anything to work because if you don't want do anything there's not even you're the best therapist in the world it's not gonna do anything. It's not gonna do anything for you.
Speaker 1:Best teacher in the world, best fitness instructor none of it, none of it will matter because you need to do it yourself than you. So I'll leave you with that guys I don't know really where I went with this voice or not but I thought very interesting connection and I want to make sure the turtle is somewhere it's like kind it's kind of like you know I can't say it but it is we wanted to be an essentially a school of life or you know, a school, basically. And that's what it is. It's not just fitness. And that stat is just staggering to me.
Speaker 1:So that's what the studies are saying. And I think, you know, if we are to be the type of business we wanna be here, we're gonna have to try and help in those ways. And hopefully hopefully we have, but maybe there's other ways we can improve. But let me know. And for people listening to this about fat loss, weight loss, and all that stuff, all you got to do today listen all you got to do and I'll run all over it is hit your macros, get your steps in, and if you want to muscle gain, get your workout in.
Speaker 1:Steps, macros, and workout. That's it. All you gotta do today. And then you do it again tomorrow and again and again and again. This is the it literally is that simple.
Speaker 1:Right? And not only this we don't have to overcomplete this. So I'll keep reminding you guys that's what you need to do. So if you haven't been tracking your macros, then go and do it today. Just anything.
Speaker 1:Even if you eat shit, track it. Put it in. At least you know where you're at. And if you if some of you wait and do this now, just get tracking, guys. It's the only way you're gonna have self awareness of where you're at.
Speaker 1:Same as racial things. Do an evaluation. Talks about in Jay Shetty's book. He talks about it. He talks about the fact that a lot of people, what is it yeah talks about the fire alarm so you've got a fire alarm going off you wake up and as you know there's a fire yeah and the fire alarm works you know awesome.
Speaker 1:He talks about what if there was a fire and the fire alarm has gone off and you're sleeping and you just went up and you took the fire alarm out of the connection. You know, the fire is still going, but you're just taking away the signal. And he talks about that signal that we get. We need to we we have to go to the the root cause, don't we? We can't keep seeing these signals and ignoring them.
Speaker 1:I think that was a beautiful explanation. A really, really good way of explaining that these things that pop in, we can't keep ignoring, we've got to face them head on. If you're not happy with where you want to be, you have to take the initial measurements, you have to start tracking, it's gonna suck. Oh yeah, you're not where you want to be. Great.
Speaker 1:At least you know, at least you know where you're at actually and you can't improve what you can't you can't improve or you don't measure. Right, so we must measure these things for improvement and I'm not saying there needs to be an x number on those numbers but we need to go on the right trajectory. That's it. We need to be on the right path. That's all that matters.
Speaker 1:Whatever path we're on, wicked, we're on that path. And Alain de Botton in one of his books says it brilliantly. He says that insomnia is day thought you've had in a day ignored. Right? When you think about it, it's quite true.
Speaker 1:Keep ignoring things in a day that you thought, it's too much and you ignore them, work, get head hits a pillow, guess you're gonna think about all those things you didn't deal with in a day. And I'll leave you that, guys. And, yeah, track your macros. And that's it. Thank you for listening to the one day at a time podcast with your host, Golf Leer.
Speaker 1:Hopefully, you understood something I said. I hope that some wisdom kind of distilled through into your mind, and I want you to now action it today. I don't want you to think about tomorrow. I don't want you to think about yesterday. I don't want you to think about leaving a review on this podcast.
Speaker 1:I don't want you to think about going to another website. What I want you to do is as soon as this podcast ends, you will take action and make the most of today. Ground yourself today. Follow the one day at a time philosophy, and your life will change.
