A Real Chat
Welcome to the one day at a time podcast where we forget about yesterday. We don't worry about tomorrow. It's what are we going to do today? This all matters because you've only ever had or will ever have the fantastic twenty four hours a day you're about to embark on. So hopefully this episode is going to give you some daily dose of wisdom that you can take action on today to improve your life.
Speaker 1:And remember, all it takes is one day at a time. So today's special edition podcast, I thought I would phone one of my one of my good friends, one of best friends, and back home up. And, obviously told him upfront I'll record it, but I haven't spoke to him in a while on the phone. I haven't seen him since, you know, last summer. And, yeah, he's like a real, you know, just real person, basically.
Speaker 1:And he's funny, hilarious. So I thought, you know, let's record a real chat between two friends having an update on what's going on, of like real world struggles, any advice has come through, anything has helped them, and see if any of that can resonate with any of you lot. And maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. But here is a chat between two normal people as opposed to listening to podcasts where you have like best top businessman interviewed by other top businessman or like, you know, neuroscientists with a PhD speaks to you know what mean? They're always all, like, these people.
Speaker 1:How about a normal conversation? So here's a normal conversation between two people about how life is going, and hopefully, you'll take something from it. Hello.
Speaker 2:Hello. Know me? Can you hear me?
Speaker 1:Yeah. I can hear you. Am I clear or what?
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. You're clear.
Speaker 1:You're on a podcast, you're famous now.
Speaker 2:Literally. I'm actually very nervous. Right? Hello. Idea.
Speaker 1:Well, you you nervous in social scenarios then?
Speaker 2:Pardon?
Speaker 1:You nervous in social scenarios?
Speaker 2:No. No. No. Not face to face. But I feel like speaking speaking on a podcast, think it's bit I don't know.
Speaker 2:It's bit different. Like, you know I mean?
Speaker 1:Why?
Speaker 2:Feel like, I don't know, just it is like, no, I feel like I would be nervous if I was speaking in like a social setting. Like if I was speaking in front of like, Lord of people, and it's only me talking, then it's quite nerve wracking. But if I'm just on a conversation, like people is fine. But it's just the fact I know that people are listening.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Well, think they're gonna think Seminole do?
Speaker 2:To be honest, I I'm well, I'm gonna know to swear.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right. I don't give a fuck, to honest with you.
Speaker 1:There we are then. So what are worrying about?
Speaker 2:Fuck it. Come on in.
Speaker 1:Well, tell me, how was lockdown going by?
Speaker 2:Locked down? I mean, I'll be totally honest with Locked down this time has been by far the most difficult. And I think that's because obviously the weather has played a big part. Because if you look at this lockdown compared to lockdown last March or whatever it was, like, was completely different. The weather was banging, it was onto you was paying.
Speaker 2:And back then I had a decent sized garden as well. So I was out, no, I was out and about the loft, obviously in the garden, but now I'm living in a flat. So, you know, it's a bit different in that sense. But thankfully, a Yeah, yeah, I've got a balcony like, but you know, nothing beats a green grass. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Nothing. But, you know, I got your one as well, but he's only half of the time.
Speaker 1:You're on your own then?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm on my own a lot of the time, like, see, for me, right, I swear down, what helped me out through lockdown and I know this may sound a bit, like, you know, strange, but it's been gaming. I swear down gaming has literally saved me throughout lockdown. Because even when I'm on my own, if I'm online with, like, I don't know, the boys, it feels like they're there. And I know it sounds weird saying it, but it's true. It literally feels like they're next to me, and it's like, it's helped me massively, even though it does stress me out a bit as well.
Speaker 2:But, you know, does sound like I'm joking.
Speaker 1:You're basically going to war though, aren't you, with people on games?
Speaker 2:I'm also going to war.
Speaker 1:You're to war, aren't you? Playing war with I'm
Speaker 2:also going to war. Do know what? It don't even feel like a game no more. It feels like an auntie. It feels like a job.
Speaker 2:I swear I don't, I get back from work and I'm going back into work. I love it, but I honestly like I am actually addicted. I'm not even joking. But I'm looking forward to lockdown being lifted and for me to get off the game because I think I played it to the point where it's become a bit unhealthy. Like, I feel like if I don't play the game, I'm missing something.
Speaker 2:I can't even joke, and it's unbelievable. Your thumbs hurt. No, man. God, no. No.
Speaker 2:These thumb made these thumbs are designed to be heard. Like, you know what I mean? My skin has literally become solid to the point where I don't even feel nothing no more. Great. Like, I mean, I even spent money on like a monitor.
Speaker 2:Like I spent like 150 on a fricking controller just for this game. And you know what, I'm still shit. I'm still not even good at the game. It's mad me. Like I don't know what else I can do.
Speaker 1:It's giving you happiness by it.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, to be fair, it has. I've let no, you know what, it's given me a distraction. Want to have like, yeah, happiness to an extent, but it's given me something to distract me from all the shit that's going on, to be honest with you. You know, it is what it is. Like, I'm not before they'd be lifted.
Speaker 1:Did you read that book I sent you in?
Speaker 2:Oh, Scott, I've listened. I'll be totally honest, you're right. Out of 150 page book, which I bought, I have read 80 pages. And you know what, I think I've got the attention span of a fish. I'm not even joking.
Speaker 2:Like, I had this in my head where you know what, I'll just read like ten-fifteen pages before bed, they'd be like, starting off well. And then this is what I mean, it's a game. I like I thought to myself, oh no, I have an extra half, I wouldn't call a dude, you know, an extra half, I get to bed, I'm not good, I'm just like, oh, I can't be asked to read. You know what I mean? But, you know, it did teach me a bit.
Speaker 2:Like, suppose it taught me in the sense of, even when you feel like you've got nothing, hope can get you through it. If that makes sense? Yeah. You know what I mean? Because obviously, I haven't read it all, but what I have read, it was quite interesting.
Speaker 2:I'm not gonna lie. But I tell you what, had a hell of a life minding me, Jesus Christ's sake.
Speaker 1:Please, Dave, what do you think, would you survive concentration camp then?
Speaker 2:Definitely not, no, no, no. I think people of this generation are snowflakes compared to how they were back then. We all mourn about our lives and all that. And I tell you what, we got it so easy compared to some.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:And like, even in this day and age, like, people in The UK have it so easy compared to other countries, and yet we mourn, mourn, mourn. We don't appreciate what we got. We always look for something else. We always look for something better. We always want something else.
Speaker 2:And I think, like, that's the issue. And I'm the same for it. I think everyone is in, you know, in some sort of extent.
Speaker 1:What would make you happier then?
Speaker 2:That's a hard question, Scott. What would make me happy?
Speaker 1:Well, if you're you just said we've got everything. So what do want more then?
Speaker 2:Exactly. I don't know what I want more. Think for me it's more like to be financially comfortable. I think that for me, I'm not even saying that would make me happier. Like, I think it would make me happier, but it probably wouldn't.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean? Like, I honestly don't know. Like, I'm not saying I'm not happy. That's definitely not the case. But could I be happier?
Speaker 2:I suppose so. But whether it be through finances or not, I don't know. I honestly don't know. I don't think I'm very happy where I am work wise at the moment, but I'm not taking nothing away from my job. Know, my boss is great.
Speaker 2:If you are listening, I'm top one. But obviously, it's not what I want to do. I think if I got into a job which I really wanted to do, which would be barbering, of course, then yeah, I think that would be a big step towards the end goal, which is obviously happiness.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Well, what you doing in the summer? What were you saying last year, though? You happy in the summer?
Speaker 2:Last summer?
Speaker 1:Like when did you leave DHL?
Speaker 2:Oh, I got sacked in. I got sacked from DHL. So I left there Jesus Christ. I think it right, it weren't last Christmas. It was a Christmas before.
Speaker 2:They let me go, I think, in November. Was it was I happy in that job?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, at the time, like, no. But I think back there, yeah, I was, like, compared to no. Honestly, it was a tough job.
Speaker 1:Said you're okay now. You just said you're okay now.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. Like, no. But I'm in a job now, which I don't you know, it's not what I want to do, really. I mean, work wise, I was happier in trading.
Speaker 1:Yeah. But where were you living? Back home?
Speaker 2:Oh, yes. No. No. No. I was living in Swansea at the time on my own, and, oh, god.
Speaker 2:That was a struggle. But prior to that, I was back home. Yeah. And I couldn't ever live back home again. No way.
Speaker 2:I think once once you move out, like, you can't go back. You go back. Your mother's nagging you over these most hatey things. You know? Do this.
Speaker 2:Do that. And I'm just like, oh, give me a break. Please, just give me a break. So, yeah, it sounds like like I I can't go home. Like, I had the option to go home once I left Swansea.
Speaker 2:And there was an option of either go home to my mom's rent free or live in my mate's grandfather's house. Obviously, obviously, his grandfather didn't live there at the time. And you know what? I chose a grandfather's house 100%. And it was probably the best decision I made.
Speaker 2:And then from there, then I moved to Cardiff. And that's been great to be fair. I do like I do love where I am now. I would like a garden. So I can't complain because where I live is really nice.
Speaker 2:You know, I've got a balcony, so it's not all that bad. I'm a flat height as well. So yeah, it's a win win.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Slightly.
Speaker 1:So you spend a lot of time on your own then, don't you? What are you thinking thinking about?
Speaker 2:On my own. What are thinking about? Shit, that's not what I've got to do. I don't know, mate, to be honest with you. Shit, don't know how to answer this question.
Speaker 1:Like, are you like dreaming of a day you get, like, you're cutting hair, you're dreaming of hair follicles, like what are doing?
Speaker 2:I'm dreaming of growing some fucking new hair follicles, I'll tell you what, I'm losing my hair quicker than you.
Speaker 1:Oh, you know.
Speaker 2:No, I do think about it. I like, obviously, I think about the end outcome of it all, like, where, like, where I'll be this time next year, whether I will be cutting hair, which I bloody hope I will be. You know what I mean? Now, like, after all this is lifting out, because I'm still in college as well doing a course, but obviously, that was put on hold because of COVID. But I think that's that's opening back up now, I think this month sometimes.
Speaker 2:So fingers crossed it does. Don't what I think about. Sometimes I think about food. I think about sex. Classic.
Speaker 2:I'm like, you know, I'm not gonna lie. I'm a single day. You know what I mean? I got needs. I'm like, I'm gonna sit here and bullshit you and think, oh, yeah, I think we're not.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I think of all that shit. Same with every other bloke. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1:Think of a country starting with D. Denmark? Well, no, don't say it. Okay. Think of the country starting with D.
Speaker 1:The second letter of that country, think of an animal with our letter, start with our letter, then think of the colour of the animal. So all three of those?
Speaker 2:So it'd be Denmark, elephant, grey.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that's what everybody goes for, right? So everybody goes for Denmark, elephant, grey, because it's like knock on automatic thoughts. So do you have like automatic negative thoughts? Do you like think to yourself sometimes like, fuck, why am I gaming all the time? And then you think I hate myself.
Speaker 2:Oh, God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. Bloody hell. There's times I think I'm bipolar, mate.
Speaker 2:Honestly, God, I think like, am I even like, is this normal to think like this? I literally I literally have episodes where I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? Like, why am I still doing this? It's making me feel shit yet I'm still doing it.
Speaker 1:It's addictive.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. On the go, I feel like I've got an addictive personality 100%. It's all or nothing. You know what I mean? And, you know, it can be good, but it can be harmful.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean? It's not always good. And like, I can be like that in relationships as well. It's not just like, you know, gaming or this and that or like a hobby. It can be like with people as well.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean? But I've but I've kind of learned to tone that down though. Obviously, like, you learn through your mistakes.
Speaker 1:Did you think ADHD?
Speaker 2:I've never been diagnosed, but there's definite like, the symptoms are there. You know what I mean? Like, my moods are very, like, up and down. So I'm either really happy, or I'm either quite down? Like, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Like, I swear, like, I think I I have anxiety as well. And I didn't even realize I have anxiety, but I I've had this for years, and I didn't know. Do you mean I just didn't know I had it. Like, It come to me when I was sitting down, right? And it weren't even cold.
Speaker 2:I was in the house, I was sitting down, and I was shivering. Right? I was like, it's not even cold. But all the times I have shivering before, like, oh, I must be cold. I must be cold.
Speaker 2:But I wasn't cold at all right. And I couldn't barely speak. And I was like, what's wrong with me? So I looked it up. And I like I searched up anxiety.
Speaker 2:And honestly, I realised my God, I've had this for years. I've had it for years. Like, I bite my bloody finger fingernails all the time, little things like that. I think I've gotta be doing something with my hands, you know, the moods as well. Are you thinking what are thinking
Speaker 1:about in those episodes?
Speaker 2:Honestly, no. I don't even know what I'm thinking about. I think the bight and hunting has become a habit, though. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Speaker 2:But what I can only explain what I'm thinking about, like, at the time. It could be anything. You know me. Like, this brain don't work normal. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Like, I could be thinking about anything. I can't really put it like, I can't say whether it'd the future.
Speaker 1:But you worry about
Speaker 2:what you're thinking. Yeah, like, I think I am a bit of a worrier. I think it could be like, somewhat the future. Like, where am I going? I mean, I'm 28 now.
Speaker 2:Yeah. You know, I'm 29 in a few months. I don't really like, I'm not 100% happy with where I am right now. But I feel like a lot of people I don't think the lockdown help. I think that's been a bit of a burden as well.
Speaker 2:But if you'd asked me ten years ago, where would I be at 28? It would not be where I am now. But that's fine. Yeah. That's fine.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean? Sometimes things take longer. So I'm a bit I'm optimistic about the future. I'm not gonna say, like, I'm not gonna be a negative and say, oh, you know, it's not gonna work out. Bullshit.
Speaker 2:You get what you give. You know what I mean? You like, basically, what you give I I don't if I'm saying this right now. I'm here to say it, but it's pretty true. Know the one, mister motivation, speaking yourself.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm trying to say. Yeah. What you give in, you get out.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. You know what I mean? And like, what really annoys me, right, is I see these people online posting these things about, if you haven't hustled over lockdown, you ain't hustle and all that. And I'm just thinking, oh, God's sake, shut up. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Like, not everyone's got, I don't know, the same baseline or the same start up point as you or whatever. Like, everyone's different. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. You don't have be productive all the time. I think that's what people think. Everybody has to be like, you have to be productive. And I think it does feel good to do something like but yeah, I think a lot of people who like, for example, you don't want to like, if I ask you, would you rather just have loads of cash and not work or like work in a job you love?
Speaker 1:You probably would be like, I just want cash and then do what you want. Some people would rather like work.
Speaker 2:I mean, I say, yeah, I love cash and all that. But that's too many phase out. You know what I mean? Like, to work in a job you absolutely love and make you know, a tidy living. Like the thing is, want to be rich.
Speaker 2:I don't care about all that crap. Like if I can work in a job where I can make a comfortable living, and I love the job, and I'm seeing what I'm doing is impacting people. That's all I want. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1:I'm Making people Exactly.
Speaker 2:Like for me, the barbershop is way more than just a haircut. It's kind of like a therapy session. Like, you go there, you're feeling like a three out of 10. You're looking rough, mate. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2:You're looking rough. You leave a solid seven. You're a solid seven leaving there with a ton seven and a half. And you know what? Like, if I can see that I'm offering a service to someone that's impacting them positively, then for me that's winning.
Speaker 1:You better not mess the head up.
Speaker 2:Listen, I have messed a few hairs up. Shout out to you, Juan Jones, if you are listening. I'm so sorry, but I hate that I gave you over lockdown. Hopefully, one day, we could get past this, and I could be the permanent well, your permanent barber, I hope. Again, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:Did you do it?
Speaker 2:So yeah. Oh, mate, it's so bad. It was so bad. So, oh, mate, I can't explain. I was using the trimmer.
Speaker 2:I'd done the fade a bit low. He was like, oh, take it up. Take it up. I was like, alright, sound. So I was taking it up now.
Speaker 2:Bear in mind, I'm not gonna lie, right? I had a smoke as well. Was stoned doing this. In my head, I was like, oh, yeah, I'm smashing this. I'm smashing this.
Speaker 2:So I was going up on his head now and he was like, a bit higher. And as I was going up, was like, oh my god, I can't do this. I can't do this. There's no way I could faded in. And it got to the point, right, where I was up to his bloody crown.
Speaker 2:And like, he was getting pissed off now. And I started laughing like, no, I couldn't start laughing. But I felt bad then. Like I knew I like I cannot fix this. And he's there saying, I'm gonna have to shave my head now.' And I was like, 'Please don't let me be the guy to make you shave your head.
Speaker 2:I don't want to be known as that guy.' So he ended up just wearing a hat for a few weeks and it was all sorted. But you know what, he's not let me touch his head since I know, I can't blame him. I can't blame him. But I thought, know, as being pals, he'd give me one more go, but clearly not.
Speaker 1:Well, then what if you you better not to run the real world, buddy? You have no
Speaker 2:customers? No. Exactly. Think it's
Speaker 1:a Business idea for you, though. You could be the barber that people send their mates to for a funny trim to ruin their hair.
Speaker 2:Is definitely not what I'm aiming for you. I'm aiming to be, you know, the barber if people go to think, you know what? Hell of a service, of a laugh, banging shop. And well, sweets out. Give
Speaker 1:sweets out in here.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Oh,
Speaker 1:what about when you said before then that Cryin helps you?
Speaker 2:Oh, God, yes. So when I was smoking weed a lot, right, I said, yeah, it was often. It went like a lot of weed, but it was very often. I should go through phases of like, crying maybe once a month. And there'd be like a buildup, like, I would cry, and I would feel so amazed.
Speaker 2:I feel like all this negative energy has left me. And then it would build up over time. And I would know when I need to cry, I'd feel a massive knot in my stomach. And that's when I knew I needed to cry, which is fine. Know, there's nothing wrong with crying.
Speaker 2:And I think people need to understand that there's nothing wrong with crying. It's actually good for you. But it became from crying once to twice a month, sorry, from once every one, two months to crying once every fortnight. And that's when I knew right, okay, there's something's not right here. And I gave up the weed.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And, yeah, I felt better. I'm not gonna lie, it was hard at first. I swear down, the dreams you have, oh my god, they're so vivid. They are so vivid, I swear down because like obviously smoking weed removes your, is it REM sleep or something like that, which is your dream in.
Speaker 2:And obviously, all that comes back in abundance and all of your inner demons are just in your dreams causing you half like you're waking up with a sweat, just basically withdrawals. You know, I mean, like, it's really rough like, but yeah, I gave up the weed, and it went too bad then. But I'm not gonna say, right, that weed is awful. I believe in everything in moderation. I really do.
Speaker 2:I'm big believer in it. I believe weed can be beneficial. If if you just, you know, take the right amount and throw the booze. If you booze anything, it's gonna have negative effects, whether it be alcohol, anything. It could, you know, it could drink too much Yeah.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Alcohol is the worst, but you get this legal.
Speaker 1:You know
Speaker 2:what I mean? It's it's mad that people frown upon people who smoke weed, like, say, oh, you're a drug dealer. Come on. I'm not a minded. Can you be seriously Yeah.
Speaker 2:To actually believe that bloody alcohol causes more harm than anything. So but alcohol in moderation is fine. Yeah. It's fine. Think about it.
Speaker 2:Right? You have a few drinks. Say you have two, three drinks, four drinks, whatever. You're tipsy. That is the best head on, you're merry.
Speaker 2:Once you pass that stage of being tipsy and you get blackout drunk, that's when it becomes a problem. It's like, my god, you know, I blacked on this, I can't remember. You wake up stinking hangover, you may have got in trouble. Who knows? But it's the same principle.
Speaker 2:If you abuse it, it will abuse you.
Speaker 1:That's true. Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's Yeah,
Speaker 1:that's good. What about like, are you training in moment?
Speaker 2:Not really. I did train for a bit in the house, but it just weren't the same. It really weren't the same. Like, I enjoyed the training before work. I always used to train after work, but now I enjoy the training in the morning.
Speaker 2:So I like to wake up, go to the gym train, then go to work. It kind of sets you up for the day. But I kind of need that gym environment. I kind of need that gym environment like to properly train. And The girls are Not me.
Speaker 2:It's not even girls. I know one of these guys who goes to the gym to look at girls like, bloody hell no. I got people watching me now.
Speaker 1:You you're and aren't you running at the moment then?
Speaker 2:Oh, god. No. When did put one down? I did buy I did buy some running shoes. I downloaded the app, done one run.
Speaker 2:Only three kilometers. Oh my god. I was dying. I was dying, honestly. I think I will get into it, but at the moment, not really.
Speaker 2:I felt shit. I felt awful. I felt ill. Literally, I was walking back to the flat, and I just felt like absolute shit. But, obviously, I'm going to like, my body isn't used to even doing any sort of run.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, it was a bit of a shock. But I do think doing that for maybe a few months would be amazing for me, like because I think I like, I'd be alright to run, and I'm the right build to run. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1:Long legs.
Speaker 2:So yeah. Exactly. So I probably will give it a go, like, but at the moment, it's not really a priority for me. I'm just looking forward to the gyms open, being in a bit of bloody weight back. I tell you what, I've been absolutely slob of a lockdown.
Speaker 2:Honestly What you the last week?
Speaker 1:Week on?
Speaker 2:I don't? No. I won't won't need to have a wait. I'm just eating awful food. Shit.
Speaker 2:Takeaways. Takeaways. Takeaways.
Speaker 1:You're game. In, but
Speaker 2:it makes you just sick. I know, boy. Trust me. Like, the thing is I, like, I can't be that guy with a fat baby because I got skinny arms and legs. That's the worst shape.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean? That's like, you know, snowman. Like, I can't I can't do it. So I if you need to tone it down a
Speaker 1:little So why you not, like, going on a morning walk or, like, eating tiny food then? Just lazy. Or you just like Lazy.
Speaker 2:No motivation. I I like, at the moment, I've got no motivation to do it. Even though in my head, I'm telling myself, oh, yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it. But I just haven't got the bloody, like, driving me at the moment.
Speaker 2:You get out of bed to go in a morning run. Even though I like, I know it'll make me feel amazing if I done that. Like, I know that. But I just I don't know. Like, I literally wake up, I shower, have a quick cuppa, straight to work.
Speaker 2:Doing that breakfast, like, how bad is that? Doing that breakfast.
Speaker 1:You need to have breakfast.
Speaker 2:I know, I know, that's what I mean.
Speaker 1:So what's the answer then? What do you think people do who are in the same boat? Do you think everybody else has the same mindset where they want to do it, but they can't?
Speaker 2:Everyone's the same.
Speaker 1:Everyone's the same. Everyone says I want to do this and then it gets to where they don't do it. So what's the difference between people that do it and the people that don't?
Speaker 2:The doers and the don'ts. The doers get shit done. In my eyes, you're a doer. If you look at what you've done in your life, Like, think of us like, say, what? Ten, twelve years ago, all of us would tumble out and about having a laugh.
Speaker 2:Who'd have said like in twelve years time, you'd be what? Running, live like Louise, living in full length, doing this. Like, don't get me wrong. I always knew that you were gonna do well. I knew why.
Speaker 1:Why?
Speaker 2:But you've done is this the way you are, Scott? It is. I'm sorry. Like, I can't even explain it. Like, it's just got a business mindset.
Speaker 2:It's weird. Like, not everything is built the same, Ossie. Like, you said that earlier, like, everyone the same, but they're not like
Speaker 1:Oh, I mean, everyone everyone has the same thoughts of, I wanna do this. I know it's gonna be good for me. But, you know, they don't go through with it. Do know I
Speaker 2:mean? Yeah.
Speaker 1:Everyone has those thoughts. Everyone knows working out is good for them. So why do so many people not do it?
Speaker 2:They're lazy, even though they know it's good for them, they take the easy option of doing nothing. But some people are content to do nothing, you know what I mean? Like I know a lot of people
Speaker 1:who
Speaker 2:don't train, who are unhealthy, you know, who are overweight, and they're fine with that, which is fine. That's their choice. That's their choice. But like, if you do want to bet yourself and you do want to change, that's where the mindset has to change as well. Because it's more of a like, it's more of a mindset than a physical thing.
Speaker 2:Like, trust me, the mind is way more powerful than how big your bloody muscles are. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1:True. You know, you finished reading that book, you would have found that out as well. When he said, he says the people in the concentration camps, the big, bigger people died sooner than the people who had like the more intellectual minds because they were able to revert back to their minds and the bigger guys were like, just struggled massively because their bodies are strong, but their minds are weak.
Speaker 2:Well, you know what, I feel obliged to bloody read it now I have to, don't I? I've got to finish it off now.
Speaker 1:You've to practice your commitment.
Speaker 2:If you
Speaker 1:commit to something, you've
Speaker 2:got to
Speaker 1:do it like and if you just keep doing it, like, do you brush your teeth every morning?
Speaker 2:Every morning.
Speaker 1:Right. Do you feel like brushing your teeth every morning?
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Okay. Do you feel like brushing your teeth every night?
Speaker 2:No, not every night.
Speaker 1:Exactly. But most of the time you'll do it. Most of the time people, like 99% of the time people will brush their teeth morning and night. So, what's the difference between that and doing something else like working out or walking?
Speaker 2:Really, there is no difference.
Speaker 1:It's just one. You commit to it because you know, I'm committed to it, I'm going to do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Thing, like, it's all a habit. So like, they say a habit's picked up in twenty eight days, right? You stick with
Speaker 1:something eighty It's like 66 now.
Speaker 2:Is it 66 now, is it? Oh, bloody hell. Okay. Well, whatever it is. Once you break that, like, sixty sixty, bloody halving, whatever, like, it becomes normality.
Speaker 2:It becomes routine. Like, it's the same with the gym. I know the first month of going back to the gym is gonna be a killer. I'm gonna be sore. My body is gonna be in agony.
Speaker 2:But once you get past that stage of like, feeling it becomes a chore, you love it. You love it. You can't wait for it. If you don't go, you feel like you're missing something. But don't overdo it.
Speaker 2:Again, this is where it comes down to abusing some men. Like, if you abusing the gym too much, you get injured. True. It goes for everything in life, it really does.
Speaker 1:What about your barber course then? Have you felt like you want to quit it or what?
Speaker 2:God, yeah. Honestly, I felt like I wanted to quit it on the first day. I'm not even joking. I got in there, it was not what I was expecting. Like, I was hoping for a bit of one to one.
Speaker 2:Because the thing is, with barbering, the only way to get better at barbering is to constantly be cutting hair, right? But when you're in college, bear in mind, you're only there once a week. So you've got four hour lecture once a week. You're two hour practical, two hour theory. But, you know, two hours of practical a week is nowhere near enough.
Speaker 2:It's nowhere near enough. So a mate of mine, right, he went to the barber course. Don't get me wrong, it costs a lot of money. Right? But like, he'd be doing it for maybe three, four months.
Speaker 2:Mate, he's cutting hair at a good level already. Like, He can easily work in a shop now. But the reason being is because that course literally gave him the opportunity to cut hair every day. Every day. You know?
Speaker 2:Three, four, five clients a day. Like, that's how you get better. You gotta keep doing it, keep after it. And I just think the college course will, you know, give you the basis of it, but to get good, you gotta be kept in consistently.
Speaker 1:When you do that course then?
Speaker 2:Lot of money, mate, and work.
Speaker 1:You've got to go on full time six weeks type of thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yes. Full time. Like, I think it's like, it's probably even eight weeks, like a two month course. But, yes
Speaker 1:you gotta do your this cutting hair is daily thing, you know, they asked to, like it's like with any practice. You gotta do it daily.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Like, any sort of practice like that where you work on something, no. It could be bloody don't put an eyelashes on. It could be doing acrylic nails. Yeah.
Speaker 2:No. But it's the same principle. You've gotta keep at it to get good today. You don't get good there by doing a bloody course for six weeks. True.
Speaker 2:Know what mean?
Speaker 1:Like, the theory only.
Speaker 2:It's the same with the What
Speaker 1:have you from the theory only, Anne?
Speaker 2:Oh, fuck it, dog. To be honest with mate. I'm not gonna lie. Not much. Just different different, like, hair types and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:Like, thing is, don't forget, I I was only in that course for I think only twice I went because obviously COVID hit. Like, so I didn't really learn much on that on that part. But I feel like the practical is a lot more important than the theory part of it. Like, obviously, you've got the consultation when people come into the barbershop and all that, whatever. But for me, the practical is way more important.
Speaker 2:I think barbering a hairdresser is completely different. With hairdressing, yeah, I mean, I think the consultation with hairdressing is like a lot more important than the barber. Like, I'm just going off every barber shop I go into. It's quite chill. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Obviously, you ask the client what they want. They tell you, what offer them a drink or whatever. It's quite loud. Do you know what I mean? Like, they've been chatting about anything.
Speaker 2:Like a barber, a therapist as well. You tell them all your problems. Jesus Christ, and I told my barber stuff I am for my mum. You know what I mean? Trust me.
Speaker 2:It's a safe place. It's nice. I'm a big fan. It is. Love it.
Speaker 1:What do you say?
Speaker 2:I can't wait. Well, I can't discuss that over here, Scott. But I tell you what, came for Barbershop, and I am looking homeless right now. I quite like it all low key.
Speaker 1:You like the rough look you like the game rough look?
Speaker 2:It's quite long, no mind.
Speaker 1:Is it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, man. I'm going for the corner look.
Speaker 1:Nice. If add some muscle now, you'll be fine.
Speaker 2:Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah. I know what to tell you about it.
Speaker 1:What's and before you go now, didn't you quit the barber thing by the way?
Speaker 2:Why didn't
Speaker 1:you quit it?
Speaker 2:Why didn't they quit it? If it's something I want to do. I can't quit. If I quit that, what do I do? I mean, it take me twenty eight years to finally realize what they actually want to do in life.
Speaker 2:I know it sounds stupid, but it's a cutter. It's mad, I know. But if I It's more than cutter hair
Speaker 1:you said. You just said it's more than cutter hair.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, of course, more cutter hair. 100% is more than cutter hair. Honest to God. It's like art. It literally is art.
Speaker 2:Like, I see some of these top barbers, I just think, my God, like what they do is unbelievable. And people think it's easy. Like, it's really not. It's really difficult. Like, I just feel like once you get the grip there, I don't know.
Speaker 2:It's like, I just think it's something which will suit me down to the ground like, because like, I enjoy being social, I enjoy talking, I enjoy meeting people. So for me, that would be ideal. And like to eventually own my own shop, oh my God. For me, that's everything I need. I'd read anything more than that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. That's your goal, ain't it? Happy days.
Speaker 2:100%. One hundred %. Before long, I'll be cutting your hair, boy.
Speaker 1:Nothing in the cup, you just have a play.
Speaker 2:The wind gets your hair.
Speaker 1:The
Speaker 2:wind. Just
Speaker 1:give me head massage, bro. I'm a therapy guy.
Speaker 2:Get that blood flowing. I've searched up all the bloody tips on regrowth. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Got get the blood to the scalp.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I seen someone yesterday about this guy who hangs himself upside down.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no way. That's mad. I mean, you must have a hell of a fucking rush, blood rush like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, of course. What better way? Jesus Christ, you're back for a day.
Speaker 1:What's your so we finish with what's the most important thing in life to you?
Speaker 2:Most important thing in life? I
Speaker 1:can guess yours.
Speaker 2:Okay, you guess mine, I'll tell if you're right.
Speaker 1:Most important thing in life for you is to be with your mates, having a laugh, just like enjoying the moment, like a festival. Yeah,
Speaker 2:100%. Be grateful with what you've got. Be happy with what's around you. And I don't know. I feel like people who always want more.
Speaker 2:Don't get me wrong. I don't like, I wouldn't say they're unhappy. But if you always want more, you're never satisfied with what you got. Really, because you're always looking for something else in some sort of sense. But don't get me wrong, I think like everyone has moments of thinking like, When you strip
Speaker 1:your own path don't think like that. Do you know there's a guy, you write, who came from the slums of India, literally No Home, literally like in the slums now. He went from the slums to running this business in America. He was worth 100,000,000. So he went from the slums to 100,000,000.
Speaker 1:And then he started hanging around with like billionaires. And because billionaires were like 10 times more wealthy than him, he was then he felt poor because he was comparing himself to the billionaires, and then he went into doing some illegal trade and stuff and he got caught because he wanted to make more money, and he went to jail. Literally came from the gutter and still wanted more fucking mental.
Speaker 2:It's the same with homeless people as well, Like, I've seen this, oh gosh, years ago, I think I read this thing or seen this thing on TV where they gave this homeless person a flat. And him going from the streets into that flat rate made him unhappy because he was so used to having nothing in a sense. When he actually had something, it became a bit overwhelming for him, and it kind of sent him the opposite way. Like, obviously, it's it's not the case to everyone. But I think once you start comparing yourself to other people, that's when it can take a massive hit.
Speaker 2:Like, that's when things can go wrong. Because there's always, you know, there's always someone bigger, there's always someone better, there's always someone who's got more this. But if you think like, oh, you're never going to be happy.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah. I'm doubtful. More low, you've been are you scrolling social media and stuff comparing or not?
Speaker 2:No. To be honest with you, I'm not really one who goes on social media and compares myself to like, I don't know, these buddy fitness guys who have got like the amazing bodies or whatever. Like because I know that's not realistic, but a lot of people do. I think social media is poison. Don't get me wrong, it's a very powerful tool, you know, if you want to promote something or whatever, but it's also very poisonous to the mind, especially people who are how can I say this now?
Speaker 2:I don't know what a word is. But basically, girls especially, girls look at all these like, for example, Cardi B, they look at Cardi B and they just think like, Oh, she's a boss ass bitch. I'm just like, Oh, Yeah. Kylie
Speaker 1:Jenner self made billionaire stuff a glass with me. She's self made.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no. She's not a self made billionaire or she she was born into the fame really. Yeah, born into fame. These days becoming famous. It's a joke.
Speaker 2:Like, you don't even need to be talented anymore become famous, really?
Speaker 1:No. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because 13 year olds, one millionaires of TikTok, 13 year olds. What the hell? Like that's what social media can be a powerful tool. You know what I mean? It really can.
Speaker 2:But I don't know. Yeah, it can't work.
Speaker 1:Be small, that's like a tiny percentage of people, and then people, that's the problem, and people think they can be the unicorns, which are people making, you know. Like, it's like trying to compare yourself to like Apple. Every person going into business trying to compare themselves to being Steve Jobs and then making an Apple or Facebook or Instagram. It's like, no, most businesses will die like. That's the reality.
Speaker 1:Of course. No, I'm not going to think like we're going to do Apple. But yeah, we're reading the book at the moment. Bruce Lee's daughter talking about his philosophy, and he says the most important thing is to be fully yourself. That's it, like self actualise, be yourself fully.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I reckon you're always yourself, ain't you?
Speaker 2:Always. Like, sometimes. Like, sometimes for me, it could be a bad thing. Like, it depends because the way I am, like, I'm like, I'm a very hyped up person and stuff like that. And depending on the crowd I'm in, sometimes I think, my god, why am I like this?
Speaker 2:But then I also think myself, do you know what, why shouldn't I be like this? Why should I change how I am because of my social settings? No chance, no chance. And the thing is so many people change how they are depending on who they're around, which is fine. Are you really being true to yourself then, if that's the case?
Speaker 2:Are you really happy being like that?
Speaker 1:I think, yeah, I think you're right. I think it's okay to, like, torn down and up. So you're the same person, but you're, like, torn down and up. But to completely change your personality is a bit weird. Because like Of
Speaker 2:course it is.
Speaker 1:I know a lot people are like, yeah, but it's my work stuff. Like, yeah, but you're literally completely different. Like, person, you will never stick up for shit off people and you'll hold your own ground. And then in work, you're like, you're looking ass, and you're this complete puppy. And it's like, what are you doing?
Speaker 2:1100%. We've all done it, though. We've all done it. But I think as you get older, you start to just realise, Oh, what's the point?
Speaker 1:There's a good quote one of the members said of an ass, he said, Our youth is wasted on the young. Young people, being youthful is wasted on young people because we think too much of ourselves are always worrying about what people think and when you get older, you stop caring, And then that's when you're not doing what you want to do, but then you're older. So like, it's like, fuck, I wish I was the guest when I was 20. You know I mean?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, 100%. Honestly, I think one of my biggest role models in life, right, is believe it or not, my grandmother, and I kid you not, right, she has been through more than anyone I know. But yet she's always smiling. And she's 75 now. But in her head, she's 30.
Speaker 2:And I envy her. I absolutely envy her. And if I could be
Speaker 1:She's 30.
Speaker 2:Genuine, mate, like, she's amazing. She's amazing. Honest to God. They say with age comes wisdom. Do you know when like, your grandparents give you advice, you're young and you're like, oh, no, I know better.
Speaker 2:I know better. You know, think you know, we're all man, we know nothing. They've been through everything that we've been through and more, way more.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Well, how old is your old grandmother? How old is she?
Speaker 2:My grandmother? Yeah. 75.
Speaker 1:70 five. So she would have been born like around World War II then?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's mental.
Speaker 2:It drives me like she's at the end of her life. Like, I look at her, she's always smiling, always there for the family. She's like the rock of the family. Like I always go to her for advice, always have to give her a phone call to like, you know, twice a week, whatever, see how she is, obviously, because I am being able to see it over lockdown. It's been a bit of a strainer.
Speaker 2:She's been through some stuff as well, like, you know, losing her husband and all that. So, like, this is what I mean. She lost her husband, but yet she's still there for the family. And like, like, and I mean, constantly there looking after the grandkids and stuff like, and it's just, I don't know, it's quite refreshing to see this. It's like, oh, wow.
Speaker 2:Like, if she could be that happy after everything that's gone on, why can't I be that happy?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you got youth. You're living with one of your best mates in Cardiff.
Speaker 2:I know, I know.
Speaker 1:Doing ahead, doing what you found out what you really want to do. Exactly. Out of a relationship wasn't doing any good stuff like that.
Speaker 2:Exactly, exactly. This is what I mean, when you strip everything back, like strip away all the bullshit, you know, all the exterior bullshit, actually think about what you actually got. Like, that's when you realised, you know what, things are actually good. Things are actually fine. I am where I need to be at the moment.
Speaker 2:And that's all the math is.
Speaker 1:Yeah. True. We'll finish with this then. What's the last, what's the most your grandmother's wise words to you? What's she saying?
Speaker 1:What's the one that stuck out?
Speaker 2:My grandmother's wise words, my gran. My grandmother always says, Keep smiling, my boy. Keep smiling, my boy. And I'm there being sometimes like a naked man, all grand, but it's bad because Kiran, it's not bad, boy. Trust me, it's not bad.
Speaker 2:Good things that come in. Good things that come in. She always says, you'll be alright. You'll be alright. You're doing great.
Speaker 2:Sometimes you just need words like that from someone like her. Yeah, that's all. Trust me, you really do. And it changes like it changes the way you think you actually proper think about what you got to think, know why? Yeah, she's right.
Speaker 2:She's right. Because sometimes our mind is our worst enemy. Yeah, it really is.
Speaker 1:Most of the time. Yeah.
Speaker 2:100%.
Speaker 1:That's good. She's been through it since she knows.
Speaker 2:She's been to Lords, mate. She means absolutely Lords.
Speaker 1:Yeah, gonna love you just as much. If I can a leaf for her, but come happy. Yeah, happy days. Well, nice to chat, but I thought we'd record it.
Speaker 2:I know. I know. It's been a while. It's been a while.
Speaker 1:For the podcast so people can have an update on someone who's just, you know, living. Happy day. Happy, man. Always back. Thank you.
Speaker 1:And that's it. Thank you for listening to the one day at a time podcast with your host, Scott Fleer. Hopefully, you understood something I said. I hope that some wisdom kind of distilled through into your mind, and I want you to now action it today. I don't want you to think about tomorrow.
Speaker 1:I don't want you to think about yesterday. I don't want you to think about leaving a review on this podcast. I don't you to think about going to another website. What I want you to do is as soon as this podcast ends, you will take action and make the most of today. Ground yourself today.
Speaker 1:Follow the one day at a time philosophy and your life will change.
