Do you feel overwhelmed daily?
Hello, good morning everyone. I've got a question for you. It came from a chat yesterday. Do you get down days, days you feel overwhelmed regardless of all the stoicism that you've been taught through Turtle that you can only control what you can control which is your voluntary actions, your attitude, everything else is outside your control. You know, we know all this, we know the information, by taking action is a different thing.
Speaker 1:However, we all get down days and over down days. Do we? Do you? Do me? Do me?
Speaker 1:Do I? Yeah I do. Every single day. And I think this is important thing to realise is that most of us now outside of chronic illnesses and you know, you know, being sacked and being in positions you didn't want to be in, a lot of us have done decisions over our lives to be where we are because we decided to do what we're doing right now. I decided to start two businesses.
Speaker 1:And some are saying are you stressed running two businesses, you know all that stuff, well yeah it is stressful yeah. But I'm not going to complain about it. I'll have a moan once or twice here and there sometimes the things get really you know overwhelming but at the end of the day I decided to do this path and for me that decision is to suffer down the path I choose. That path I choose yeah, it's gonna be tough, it's gonna sometimes be overwhelming to a degree so bad suffering, but I chose the path I went down. And most of you have chosen your path.
Speaker 1:Some of you chosen to be a teacher. Some of you chosen to be a, you know, you could work in TV, right? You've decided to go down these jobs to accountant in the big four firms, all this stuff, you've you've decided to go down this path. And then a year or two later, you know, I'm so overwhelmed. You remember, before a few years ago, your dream was to do the job you're doing, or your dream is to be done in this career and you got a job.
Speaker 1:Do you remember that actually is my decision, I get every path is to suffer in some way. And this is the path to choose. Sometimes you might realize, I actually don't really want to do this anymore. So I'll choose another path. But that comes with suffering as well.
Speaker 1:If you say, you know I've got kids, overwhelming, got kids. Remember the time you didn't have kids and you wished and you couldn't wait for the kid to be born, you're pregnant, you were glowing and your partner was there and your family can't wait to see all these all these amazing moments, you couldn't wait to have a kid, right, you couldn't wait to have kids. Now you go around and they're fucking devils. They're causing you pain and suffering and sleepless nights and all that but you have to remember you decided you wanted the kids. In most cases, like obviously there's edge cases you're not, I'm talking in general, please.
Speaker 1:So you have to remember that you chose this path and that path, all paths of suffering and the kids path as a law. But you have to remember you that is your pride and joy, in the end of the day that kid is your bundle of joy that you brought into this world and it's one of the most important hardest jobs in the world. And we have to look at like, I love rereading some of the Buddhist stuff, it's like life is suffering. And you know, Viktor Frankl says, you know, you have to find something that you have to put the meaning to your suffering. That's he says, the main thing he's figured out from going to Auschwitz all this stuff, you've got to put meaning in the suffering because we all suffer.
Speaker 1:Human the human condition is to suffer. 100%. We're all suffering different ways. And we not don't compare those suffering and say, my suffering is way worse than your suffering. You'll never get my suffering because you're not me and I've gone through such things you'll never believe.
Speaker 1:And I go, yeah, I'll never be you. I'll never be in your shoes to know exactly what you're going through. But what I do know is all of us suffer, all of us have sadness, anxiety, pain, pleasure, lust love, all that stuff. We all experience those human emotions so no matter how we get to those emotions we all experience same stuff. That's why there's a lot of advice out there that pierces through from the ages to everyone's heart because we all we can all understand it, we can all get it.
Speaker 1:Don't we? So when it comes to it, we go, okay, I'm overwhelmed. Overwhelmed. Dazed. I'm feeling terrible.
Speaker 1:Don't feel myself. I'm training ages. I'm overwhelmed. Down. Blah blah blah.
Speaker 1:And then you realise, well, who is the person to sort this out? Me. There is no one else that's gonna help you here. I mean, you can have advice from your partner, friends, turtle. We can come in and give you all the best advice.
Speaker 1:But at the end of the day, it's gotta be you. Has to be you. So you either say it is this is up to me to how to deal with I need to figure out how to deal with better go on walks, I need to take lunch hour lunch hour to break and not just work through for my boss and I mourn about that you don't have a lunch hour. Well you are given a lunch hour. You're given one or you by law you're meant to have a lunch hour with a full day.
Speaker 1:And if you're not taking it that's your fault. Sorry, it is your fault. You're the only person to stand up for yourself say I need my lunch hour actually lunch hour to eat and walk and not work. I could put so much work on. Fuck.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Maybe. You'll have work forever. Work will keep going forever and those managers don't give a shit about you. So you either stand up for yourself or not.
Speaker 1:So it's up it's really up to you at every corner here to not make a mountain or a molehill as they say, to to break in this time for yourself. And if you've got absolutely no time, you say, got no time, Scott. No no time, whatever. I can't track it. I can't track it.
Speaker 1:I know I can't I don't have time to track time of stay. No way. I go bullshit because you're on your phone for hours a day, at least an hour screen time a day. No matter how busy you are, those phones got us hooked. We're on the phone.
Speaker 1:So you can, you need to just carve out, you need to optimize your own day to day. No one you can't compare your day to day to my day to day. You're like, I got kids, God, you don't get it. I go, well, I've had to look at my own time and optimize my own time. You look at your time and optimize your own time.
Speaker 1:Where are you wasting time? Are you having a shower sitting in bed for fifteen minutes and going, fucking just, day's gonna suck. Are you not going for walks? Are you kind of not habit stacking and all this types of stuff, right? It's up to us man.
Speaker 1:It really is. It's radical, radical accountability. And then you go, okay, this is the life I've built for myself and I'm not gonna mourn it away and make it worse than it is. It is suck does suck day to day. There's some things that suck day to day.
Speaker 1:Need a break, know, need a break. And you go, yeah, but I'm the type of person that can do it. I've been through, I've gone through all the struggles that I've had in my life. I'm not saying this is me, I'm saying you, all of you. You go through all the bad days, all the days you thought you never get through, you go through them.
Speaker 1:So the human can do it, we all do this. We get through these things, that's how we are. And who do you want to be? What type of person do want to be? Do want to be the type of person that you do take a lot on?
Speaker 1:If there's a god, he's he or she's given you these tasks that you this is your medicine. This is what's gonna make you. This is your trial. I know you can overcome it and become an even better person. They give you all these tasks, this job, family to run, finances, do all this, you renovate, like whatever, do all this stuff at once and you go, oh my god, can't take it.
Speaker 1:All over. I go, well, do you wanna be a type of person that's given those tasks and you you do eventually go you do eventually complete because you are the type of person who complete it. Old human type of person that does nothing all day, sits on his ass, has no challenges, is living a life of pleasure, sitting down all day watching TV, has no worries, no problems, not pushing themselves, not out comfort or nothing like that but it's easy and quiet. Fuck that. No way.
Speaker 1:Do you really wanna be that type of person? And the sad truth is the type of people who take on a lot, who are leading the way, who are pushing themselves, who are becoming out of their comfort zone and the family see, oh yeah, fair play, they're doing, they're getting successful, they're doing these things. People don't ask how you're doing. People don't think oh, look at all stuff they're doing, you're amazing, all smart, I can't believe all things you do. Don't get praise.
Speaker 1:But the thing is, the tip here is never rely on praise. If it comes lovely, happy days. No one gives a shit that all the stuff you've got to do. No one cares about all the small stuff you've to do. You do it because you can and you can get through it and it is tough sometimes and it's overwhelming sometimes.
Speaker 1:But you do it And you're the type of person that really can do it. You know, the love my fate. Whatever it is, I love it. It's coming towards me. It's a tough challenge, but I'm the type of person that gets through this.
Speaker 1:I've done it many times before. I'm gonna do it again. I'm not gonna make it three times bigger than it needs to be in my head. I'm going to take it head on obstacles to a job. The downside of being this type of person, this strong person really is that you don't get the praise, you don't get the cuddling and the warmth and like, you okay?
Speaker 1:And when you do struggle and you say to people, I'm going through some tough times, they know you're gonna get through a scene and they just go, Yeah, fine, you'll get through it. So you don't get this kind of like, cotton wool type behavior for the people that they for the people that they know are like not so resilient. They get all the support, get all the love, they get all the attention, all the small things you do is amazing, keep going, you're an awesome person, you're doing amazing because they need it. That's fair enough, some people need more support and help and guidance and a lot more praise. But for most of us, we do things without praise and we don't need to go down and go I need praise and again resentment, and I need praise now.
Speaker 1:I need this and this now. No. You don't. If you go down that route, you're gonna hate everything. You do the things for the sake of themselves for your own good.
Speaker 1:You do them for you. That's the magic. And then you go through these tough times. Like, this is overwhelming. No one even knows I'm doing all this.
Speaker 1:No one even knows the stress going through. I'm doing all these tasks every day. No one cares. No one's giving me praise. No one's no one says, thank you for doing this stuff.
Speaker 1:And you go, do you know what? But I'm doing this for me. I'm doing it for my kids. I'm doing it for my own. I'm doing it for my family.
Speaker 1:I don't need words if the words come nice, but I don't need them. The moment you need the praise, the ego that is, the ego coming in. Ego's coming in, going, need praise. I need praise. I need something for this.
Speaker 1:No. You don't need something for it. That's a nice round for you, ain't it? I thought I'd give my opinion on it. You know?
Speaker 1:Most day, you know, a lot of us are going through our own shit. We all are. I know it. A lot of us are struggling. I know our own stuff.
Speaker 1:And I'll never know exactly how it is to be you. I'm sorry. And you'll never know what it's like to be me. But I'm never gonna use that another human being to be like you never understand and go through way worse. You never understand.
Speaker 1:That's why I need some special unique thing. When actually you need to just be able to look at your own situation and you'll be able to see clearly. If you remove the subjective subjectivity, if you remove the ego and you see your situation, you see it in full, right, you know what the next step are. The truth reveals itself quite easily. I can't you go, I can't deal with all kids stuff every day.
Speaker 1:The kids are overwhelming. The workload is loads like this. Why me, why am I going through such a tough time, no one else will understand, I'm doing so much, working sixteen hours a day, la la. And you can go down that route, or you just look at it, take your ego away from it, ego and go. I went to the kids, I love them, and it comes with struggle.
Speaker 1:Is me losing my head over them being kids gonna help the situation? No, it's gonna make my situation worse and it's me causing my situation being worse. Me, it's only I that can make it worse. So there's no point in being the type of person that's always angry reacting to a life that I actually wanted. Right and you go I'm working such long hours you go well I do like what I do and I'm working long hours and I'm the one in charge of cutting those hours down.
Speaker 1:If those long hours again too much, I'm the person that cuts it down. I have to tell my boss or go into management and explain that the hours are too long and my own mental health or whatever. I'm the type of person that and if I've done that, I still feel like work is stressed. You're gonna say, well, would I rather do this or a job I don't actually like to do for less stress? And you go, well, no.
Speaker 1:I'd obviously rather have a job I like to and I want to be doing for with stress than a job that's got no pleasure, no like, no, you know, nothing you really want to do, but then no challenges. You know, the story the ancients used to talk about all the time was the choice of Hercules. Hercules was given a choice, the easy path, luxury, pleasures, beautiful women, all that stuff. The other path, really tough, 12 labours, you're gonna probably gonna hate most days, but at the end of it, you're gonna go through it, so you're gonna get through it. And you could be so grateful that you did that path and got given all those tasks there.
Speaker 1:You become the person you always want to be. And that's how he became Hercules, and the other path would have made him nothing. Zero. Hercules would have existed on a path of man. It's not a mythical story.
Speaker 1:Get with don't guys, it's a real story. But the lesson there, the angels are saying to themselves, that we want these tough paths and stuff. We wanna see what we're made of as a human being. We are capable of way more than we think and, you know, there's a guy called David Gorgens and I don't know if any of you know, but he's all about this. He's like, you think you've you think you're at your limits.
Speaker 1:No idea. You are way more you got way more in the tank than you think, way more, but you limit the tank with your own thinking, with your own sadness and mourning and gossiping and feeling sorry for yourself. That's what limits what you're truly capable of. Now you remove those limits, you're capable way more And actually the moment you stop making mountains that are more hills, stop having this egocentric me me me me me everything's so bad me me me I'm doing everything me me me, and you remove that, life gets easier. The struggle is still there, but it's a lot easier, and there's no also doom and gloom.
Speaker 1:What do we say about this then? When it comes to nutrition, say it again, you only have to track ten, fifteen minutes a day. If you say you don't have ten, fifteen minutes a day, you're lying. Flat out fact. Lie in because you're lying to yourself for one, check your screen time for two, everybody no matter how busy you are can find ten or fifteen minutes a day.
Speaker 1:If you wanna get really radicalized, you're on the toilet twice a day, maybe three times a day. What are you doing on the toilet twice, three times a day? Give an extra minute. Tracking your phone. I mean, honestly, this is the these stuff you have to think, genuine you have to think, where can I fit there in?
Speaker 1:It's so important to me. It's gonna give me such a big return on investment. I needed to fit there in somewhere. And that's up to you to fit there in. No one else.
Speaker 1:Everything is up to you. Radical acceptance of this, radical responsibility. Life becomes easier, but it's still a struggle. Life is always gonna be a struggle. But, yeah, take those struggles.
Speaker 1:If you go you of some of you going through tough times now and, you know, the cliche thing is, you know, they make you who you are and, you know, it's it's true. You know, the research done on this asked people who had gone through really bad times later on in their life said, you know what? Would have you gone back and changed that? They said, no way. It made me who I am today.
Speaker 1:And some of these people went through horrific things, deaths and all that stuff. They're like, no, never wouldn't change it. I am who I am today because of that. And that's how you and that's the bird's eye view you need to look at. These tough days you're getting through, tough times, you do a bird's eye view, you go, these times will make me who I am in the future and they will benefit me and I will help other people through it and all this stuff.
Speaker 1:And once you have that mindset, you're unstoppable. And the bad days will come. You think you've got bad days now? Tell you the bad the bad bad bad days are coming. And those bad days, someone's gonna die this close to you.
Speaker 1:That's happening soon one day. It's happening. That's a bad day. Might lose your job when it has a really bad day. Something gets really ill, you know, that's a bad day.
Speaker 1:Having an email that's pissed you off isn't a bad day. Going over your calories isn't a bad day. Having an online debate has caused probably not a bad day. Kids saying you suck, you're the worst mommy or daddy in the world. Not a bad day.
Speaker 1:Kids, know, got the leaking out of the house causing all sorts of problem. Not a bad day, really. The grand scheme of things is not a bad day. The bad days are coming for all of us, and we're gonna we'll deal with them when they come. But don't make every small thing a bad day, because every bad day is gonna be bad day.
Speaker 1:And then when you have a real bad day, you go, those weren't bad days. And how many times can I say bad day in one podcast? I said, I'm done now. That's a little ranty podcast for you, but I thought it was a good question I had. And I thought, I'll just get my thoughts out and then free flow it.
Speaker 1:That's how I think about it. It might it it might hit, it might not. That's the thing these podcasts, some of them might help you, some of them might not, but at least they make you think hopefully. And think about it today. How do you get through those overwhelming days?
Speaker 1:The days you think like I'm alright, let me know how you get through them, what your mind says about these things, your story is about them and, I'll see you all soon.
