Feeling out of control?
Good morning, everybody. And I wanna do a pre show shout out to our sponsors, Turtle Meth, the new preworker about to hit the stores. Guys, you're gonna bounce off the walls, take your workers to the next level, increase your needs by 1957% via scratching things, then this is for you. Let me know. We'll preorder it today.
Speaker 1:The only podcast got all those pre show shout outs. How annoying are they? They last for ages, Like, podcast advertising things are like the first six, seven minutes of the entire show. Takes the piss, man. Get into it.
Speaker 1:Just say, yeah, go ahead. People don't people don't care that much. Anyway, without me risking going on about turtle meth for a good few minutes, let's get straight into this podcast then, shall we? So comment yesterday by Sarah, and thanks, Sarah, if you do listen to this podcast, I know you're listening to the third fourteen day masterclass ones. Sarah did a post a few days ago, I believe, about struggling, being out of control and stuff, and she had another post today yesterday.
Speaker 1:And I'll read it out to you now, guys. And then let's see what the comments say. Let's see what we can learn from it because a lot of people are gonna feel the same thing. The battle typically isn't, knowing what to do because we know now just hit the macros in the app. We don't track.
Speaker 1:We don't eat back calories from exercise. We don't care about the calories burned from exercise. All of that is included in your macros. You just hit those numbers on average over the week. Use the macro planner.
Speaker 1:Get a few steps in. Happy days. It's simple. Right? On paper, simple.
Speaker 1:But the battle is the mind. That's exactly where everybody struggles, and this is exactly where Sarah's struggling. So she says, I'm really struggling. I just don't seem to be able to get into it. Just feel like I'm failing miserably.
Speaker 1:I wake up feeling positive. I am desperately trying to start the day off with good intentions. On today's podcast, I talk I talked about bingeing and getting psychological mindset support for this. Where do I find this? I've had one good day since my last post on you.
Speaker 1:It's almost like the more I try to get control or focus on it, the worse it gets. Yesterday was the worst day in a long time. I pretty much binged all day. I slept terribly. I feel terrible.
Speaker 1:I woke up again with good intentions this morning. Tried to go for a walk and run and just couldn't do it just under two kilometers, and I'm back home feeling awful. I'm gonna have breakfast and track, and I want to have a better day today. I feel in control right now in this moment, but for some reason the control seems to be gone in seconds sometimes. Feeling out of control, deflated, and low, especially as I know it's only me that can do this.
Speaker 1:I don't know how I can do it. Okay? This common stuff and the frequent thing about commons I guess is the language being used. You need to watch out for how you speak to yourself. You watch out for the words you use because words typically lead us to feeling something as opposed to feeling something then words.
Speaker 1:It works both ways of course, but I genuinely think if you think about it, most of the time something might happen and the words we the story we tell ourselves or the words we use to describe that to ourselves amplify it way beyond what the truth is. So for example, you know, in that text there's, know, I'm desperately trying to start the day off. The word desperately is if it's a huge struggle to start the day off with good intentions when it doesn't have to be such a struggle the morning, know, you wake up, you wake up at a good time, or you tell yourself, today's gonna be a good day, like in tiny habits, put feet on the floor, the first habit you do is today's gonna be a good day. And you just get going with your tasks, know, you go and brush your teeth, can show, you start building small bits going on, right? There's no need to desperately have good intentions at the start of the day.
Speaker 1:We just need to get going. Okay, we need to don't mope about don't go on your phones in the morning. So Sarah, don't know if you go on your phone in the mornings. That's the one of the biggest drains for us is we wake up, we go on our phone, the phone sucks us in, we see something we don't like, we feel terrible. Forty five minutes has passed.
Speaker 1:We're going, what am I doing? Late for work, late for everything. So it starts with waking up. There's no need to desperately do anything. We just wake up, we do not touch the phone, we crack on, we get a coffee and we'd read, we go and get our shower, go for a walk, we do the work or whatever it is we start the day off.
Speaker 1:Okay? That's the first thing to say is good intentions fail when we get sucked into social media. Right? That's all going to the news, pulls us in, and we don't wanna get pulled in. The power of the news and social media is is is insanely powerful.
Speaker 1:The, the guy who leads the AI for right, so the leading AI specialist for Tesla tweeted saying that TikTok is the first, AI or the first AI attack on the brain, he says. It's the first algorithm or AI he's come across that's so addictive that he feels he's been attacked in the brain by AI. And that's coming from an AI guy, Tesla, so one of the top leading companies technology wise. So we gotta take the words of these people seriously. If he is saying that social media, on TikTok in specific is like attacking the first attack on the mind by AI, we need to we need to take that seriously.
Speaker 1:Same as the Facebook stuff. Right? The the woman that created the like button for Facebook and some of the other Instagram people, they don't even use the social media. They have someone to post for them because they don't wanna get sucked into the likes and comments and all that. That's so powerful it is.
Speaker 1:They are the ones who created it, yet they can't even use it because they know the power of it. Right? So it's kind of like when you look at do as I say, not not do as I do as I do not as I say something like that. I do as I, you know what I'm saying? Basically, look at the actions as opposed to what words they're using.
Speaker 1:It's not addictive. It is attacking our minds. See, look put it that way. So that's the first thing, Sarah. I don't know if you are, but most people listen in.
Speaker 1:We we all do it. Let's be honest with ourselves. Let's get a routine in where we leave the phone outside the bedroom in the morning, get a manual alarm clock, change your life. Another thing to change your life, turn off all notifications on your phone. No buzz, no notification pop up in the screen.
Speaker 1:The only time you're gonna see something is when you go on the actual app itself. I don't know if someone's messaged me unless I go on WhatsApp on the actual app. Right? Okay. Let's go through it again.
Speaker 1:Had one good day as a post on here. One good day. Okay? One good day is one good day. You can do it.
Speaker 1:You can do it once. Can do it twice. This is key. It's almost like the more I try to get control or focus on it, the worse it gets. And this is actually bang on.
Speaker 1:The more we try and control external outcomes as well, the more we try and focus on a singular goal like weight loss and stuff like that, the more it eludes us. You know? People chase happiness, they are more unhappy. Just a fact. I wanna get happier, try and get happier.
Speaker 1:The more trying you do, the more it gets away from you. Sometimes we don't need to try more. We need to stop trying to force things all the time. Right? Trying to be happy now, trying to lose all this weight now, trying to get everything perfect now.
Speaker 1:The more we're trying to control it, we're gonna be desperate. That's the word out. We're gonna feel desperate because we're trying to control everything. You have to let go of control of all of these things. There is no goal with fat loss in terms of number.
Speaker 1:I mean you can have one if you want, but it's not the end goal. You need to focus on the behaviors that cause the byproduct of being leaner, stronger, fitter. The the byproduct happens when you take things one day at a time and live a lifestyle that equals that. Does that make sense? So say I might waking up going I need to do this weight class, need to this, need to do this.
Speaker 1:And the most you're trying to do it, the most you're trying to do it and she doesn't do it because there's so much pressure on, and it's rebounding, feels out of control. And because she desperately, as she says, wants to do the workout, desperately wants to track macros, looking, looking, looking because she desperately trying to lose x amount of weight to look a certain way. That pressure on it causes all the problems. Right? It does.
Speaker 1:It causes intense conflict in the mind. This is where it starts. Whatever whatever we fight, right, whatever we fight, we give power to it. And when we give power to someone by fighting it, lose. And that's what happened.
Speaker 1:And you wake up, you're fighting all the time. You wake up, you fight, you wake up, you fight. We need to stop fighting, need to start observing. Observing without choice. We're not meant to be observing, judging ourselves.
Speaker 1:Oh, why didn't I do this? Why didn't I do that? Just observe yourself. It's kind of like a passive thing. It feels a bit passive when you're observing, but it's not passive.
Speaker 1:It's completely aware. It's our highest form of activity. So we're very aware of things, and we're not judging ourselves. You know? I'm completely aware.
Speaker 1:I was walking down the shop last night, and, you know, the day before I said, you know, again, oh, sneaking in, guys. Just sneaking in. And I'd hit my macros, and I was completely aware. I was walking on the street. I was like, I had some Iberian ham over Louisiana's the other day, the Torres one, and it's unbelievable.
Speaker 1:I'd love a bit of a crisper. Know. I was walking in the shop, and I was completely aware and I wasn't fighting myself going, why do you want crisps, Scott? Why do you wanna eat crisps, you idiot? You've already nearly hit your macros today.
Speaker 1:What are you doing? I said, I go for a nice walk, put some nice music on and I went in the shop and got some of the crisps. Right? And I asked some of the crisps, put it in, didn't put me way over, put me because basically the day before I was under anyway. And I was just aware of the kind of thoughts that were creeping in like, oh, know, what if you didn't have these crisps?
Speaker 1:What if you didn't have them? And then you'd may get your your results to be quicker. And, like and it kinda plays tricks in you, I'm just aware of these thoughts, and I'm not accepting them. I'm nothing. Just aware.
Speaker 1:And it just makes you realize how, like, the mind's always trying to fight someone. It's always trying to be the opposite of something. It's always trying to be the opposite of what you're thinking. So your thoughts are always the opposite of what you are feeling essentially. Isn't that weird?
Speaker 1:Why is it always that we feel this way but we wouldn't feel the opposite? Always in perpetual conflict. Just being aware of it. And you know, to make a deal about it, had the Chris enjoy it, done. I said, okay?
Speaker 1:There's no more fighting. There's no more me waiting about it. Just got it done. Enjoy the hell out of them. And, you know, some days I don't feel like, you know, like, you know, some days it's easier to like, the day before, I didn't feel hungry at all of the day.
Speaker 1:I just, like, didn't come into any of my macros. My protein was good, but the rest of I didn't. And that's just how it rolls, you know. Obviously, I started observing that I was binge eating, so I was observing I went for 50 grams and I wanted to eat the entire package, which is like 150 grams or whatever, observing that desire, I wouldn't act on it. So I'd feel the intense craving, but I'd understand that the craving is thought, is desire.
Speaker 1:And I understand that that comes in because it's so nice and pleasurable that I want more of it. And I get it and it trick you know, it can trigger a a moment of desire. But I know that it's just a thing of my thought pattern because it's so nice. So I don't I again, I observe that without acting on it, you know. And I'm acting only when I feel, you know, I'm in control basically, it's weird.
Speaker 1:You give away control, you observe what's happening, your thoughts and all this stuff. And when you let it passively by, you do the right thing, you know. And then let's move on to the next part. I slept terribly, another one Sierra. If you sleep terribly, guys studies are clear on this.
Speaker 1:If you don't get enough sleep, say you get about five hours of sleep tonight, you will over you will the studies show you will eat more calories the next day only though, the only increase in calories came from post dinner snacks. So after your tea or dinner, that snacking time probably around six to 9PM or seven to 9PM, that's when people consumed three to 400 calories more per day when they had lack of sleep. So we had no, it wasn't more breakfast, it wasn't a lunch, it wasn't a dinner, it was actually the snacks. And I was due to the poor sleep the night before. So there's a big link there.
Speaker 1:Right? So I see that. And another thing saying here, if we're waking up later, going on our phones, going to bed with our phones, having terrible sleep, right, we don't have like white noise machine or we don't have a Lumi clock or we don't have like blackout blinds, all this stuff and we make our sleeping environments terrible, then of course you're gonna feel out of control a part of the next day because you're tired, you're always fighting yourself, always trying to force things. And when you do even when you do a two k, which is awesome because that's something, right, that's something, that's still a failure. Everything is through the doom and gloom lens.
Speaker 1:Of course, by the evening, you feel out of control. Our rational part of the brain, the decision making part of our brain uses a lot of the energy of the brain. I think 25% of the energy of the brain is used up by the frontal cortex, which is this decision making, the rational part of us, and it's a finite resource, right? It's called cognitive load. When they do this in teaching, if you throw too much things at people, there's too much load, there's too much thinking, there's too much thought, there's too much trying to work it all out and it wears people out and they can't think rationally.
Speaker 1:There's even a study on judges in court cases. If if you have a court case before lunchtime and dinnertime and all this stuff, you are like four or five times more likely to have a harsher sentence because these guys have been using the decision making part of their brain for hours. It's wearing them out. They're hungry. They can't think as rationally, which is mad.
Speaker 1:And then after they have food and they have a reset, right, goes back to normal, like as in better lenient more lenient sentences. So if this is happening to professionals in a job where they meant to be judging and thinking all day, okay, it happens to us. So we have to understand if we fight ourselves all day about every decision we make or every thought we have and every decision we make, we fight that. We're using the decision making part of our brain, our rational part. We're trying to rationalize it, we're trying to fight, and we're wearing it out.
Speaker 1:And by the time it gets to lunchtime, you've used so much of that, you're completely worn out and you feel out of it. So if we passively are aware without choice, without condemnation, without judgment, all this stuff, And we just see our behavior, and we're not trying to change it. We're just seeing it. There is none of that fighting and we utilizing of our energy. We only use our energy when the time is needed for it, and we make better decisions.
Speaker 1:So I think I would take a guess that this maybe is what's happening here. There's so much internal conflicts, sleep, maybe bad nighttime routine, bad morning routine, and it's causing this constant, you know, you're really against it when it comes to this. Again, though, done two ks. That's awesome, Sarah. You know, that's a really good thing.
Speaker 1:Like you went out in two ks. It's awesome. You know, I've had breakfast and tractor. That's awesome. You know, you've had better day.
Speaker 1:You had the worst day you've ever had the day before you posted this post. And you're back on the next day post and being open. That's awesome. That's resilience. That's how quick you've bounced back.
Speaker 1:You've gone right. I've had the worst day, but then the next day you're ready to bounce back. And that's phenomenal. Because a lot of people have the worst day and it can take into a worst week, worst month. Right?
Speaker 1:And the the advice is brilliant. So I'll share some of the advice now. Some of you are feeling this way, guys. I don't know if anything I said is is helpful. But let's go through some what some people said.
Speaker 1:And Katie Katie Jackson, brilliant advice as well. You know, she says, sorry feeling like that. I understand what it feels like to be out of control. Do you think you're putting too much pressure on yourself to do everything all at once? Like you've tracked your breakfast today, why not try and see that as a win already?
Speaker 1:And if you track more, great, but if you don't, it doesn't matter, you have made a start and then tomorrow you just add an extra thing each day. You also go out and did a walk no matter how long it was for you, you did something. So another win. It's so hard when you're not feeling great in yourself, but focus on those things you have done no matter how small you think they are, it's something. Sorry if that's just waffle, but one day at a time you can do this.
Speaker 1:Just be kind to yourself. Take it easy. Bang on. Bang on. Okay?
Speaker 1:Sarah comes back and says, maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself. I'm not sure. Definitely, Sierra. Thank you for pointing out my wins. For some reason, I hadn't logged them as wins.
Speaker 1:And you're right. I do need to focus on these. Not waffle at all. Makes sense and needed to hear this. Thank you.
Speaker 1:Again, awesome community, guys. Good work. Ali, sorry to hear you be feeling this way. I work for the NHS mental health services. And if you would like support for binge eating, your local IAPT service will be able to offer you some psychological support.
Speaker 1:Just search for your local IAPT example, IAPT, Cornwall, or if you're in London or your borough, an IAPT, and you should be able to self refer, which is awesome, guys. That's great advice, Ali. Thanks for sharing that. And Sarah's gone and done that now. I've given some of my own advice, which I've said there post wins.
Speaker 1:A really quote I love by Epictetus as well is people are not disturbed by things, but by the views they take of them. It's always the story we say to ourselves about something that causes the reaction. Okay? That's the power. Our power is to be able to respond and not react.
Speaker 1:We might have a short fuse. You might think there's no time between something that happens and your opinion about it. Okay? But it might be naught point one seconds for you. And then for me, it might be three seconds because I'm more aware in the moment.
Speaker 1:And the longer we can create that time between a stimulus and our response, that's where the power is. And that's when we can actually take a step back and not jump and not be impulsive. And we're more impulsive when we're stressed. We're more impulsive when we don't have that rational thinking brain working. We're more impulsive when we don't have enough sleep.
Speaker 1:Right? In a sense we act more like animals when we're not, you know, we're not we're and we're hungry all the stuff. Think about it. We're just impulsive, boom. We think we're out of control.
Speaker 1:But in a sense, we bring back control by covering the sleep, covering the morning routine, the evening routine. Right? And then we cover, okay, where is my power? My power is in my response. Let me work on seeing things happen, my reaction to that as opposed to response to that as opposed to just reacting all day, every day.
Speaker 1:Okay? And it's the same thing, right? If you now the example I use in the comment, if we all went for a walk now and I said look, Mount Olympus is over there. It takes two days to hike here. Let's go.
Speaker 1:You'd be like, no way I'm doing that. I can't climb a mountain, Scott. What do you want about? I can't do it. And I said, well, look, let's do it right now, that mountain, let's go.
Speaker 1:You'll be like, no. It's too big. There's no way. I said, okay. Let's start with walking five steps forward then.
Speaker 1:And you go, okay. Walk five steps forward. Okay. Done. That's it for the day.
Speaker 1:We walk five steps towards it. The next day, walk 10 steps. You go 15 steps. You just keep going one day at a time, one step at a time. And before you know it, you're 10 steps up, you're 15 steps up.
Speaker 1:And this is how this is how we do everything. I don't know why we think we look at some big task and we think it gets done by looking at the entirety of it. No one thought of the airplane and gone, wow, look at the look at the plane. How are we gonna how are we gonna build all that? Well, they went, well, we just start with this small part here.
Speaker 1:Right? We start with a wing, small part of the wing. Start with that. And that's how everything's built. Every the most complex things in the world are all built one step at a time.
Speaker 1:It's the only way it's possible. Like, it doesn't just pop creation and it's done. It gets done one step at a time, one day at a time. And folks in war, you can't control every day and magically over time things fall into place. You you look at stories of like, for example, Amazon, right?
Speaker 1:There's a picture of Jeff Bezos in his like basement with like Amazon spray painted on the wall. Right? You say it's that guy that your company would be the most like one of the most valuable companies in the world or Apple when they started off in the garage, Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak and like through their mates playing with motherboards to create an Apple two computers the local shop, creating a 100 units, you know, on them on their own themselves hand well hand welder and stuff. Right? One motherboard at a time, one computer at a time for you to say to them that the ARC companies are the most valuable company in the world with trillions, they can't see the possibility of it and say, nah, there's no way.
Speaker 1:That doesn't be stupid. But it's possible because over the time it's built up, it just keep it just turns and builds momentum, and it just does. But there's awesome there's awesome advice here, like Tyler as well, subconscious stress as well is a massive thing. And we have to to aware, we have to try and be aware of the subconscious stresses, know, we can say, don't know what's stressing me out. Or if you think you feel anxiety, you feel anxious, to feel anxious, there must be something that's causing the anxiety, you know, and if you don't know what it is, we need to start working through what what could be it, what subconsciously is causing the stress.
Speaker 1:And again, it comes back to awareness, awareness, awareness. Journaling every morning, journaling every night, awareness of the day, non judgmental, We do this each day, we learn so much about ourselves, you know, you'd be surprised. And I'll finish with this, Charnice again in letters. Charnice Daily says believe in yourself, all of you. I think it's true as well, trust yourself.
Speaker 1:Alan Schwarzenegger says trust yourself. Don't let folks know you're your mother, father, whatever says, trust yourself. You know? And that's what integrity is. Like you say you do something, you say you're gonna do something and you do it.
Speaker 1:And that's where confidence comes as well. I say I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna take it one day at time. I'm gonna track my breakfast, and I tracked it. Yes.
Speaker 1:I did what I said I was gonna do. Self confidence can grow from that as well. So hopefully this voice note was useful. We'll be going to the weekend. It's a Friday.
Speaker 1:You know, again, see weekends are always experiments. They're always gonna be different. You know? Oh, yeah. I think as I say, you know, on Friday days, I think there's something going on here.
Speaker 1:Friday days. I I'm I'm sure we're in a simulation now. Someone's playing Sims, and I'm one of the characters, and they're trying to they're having a laugh, ain't they? They're having a laugh at my Sims character. But enjoy your weekend.
Speaker 1:Don't judge yourself. Enjoy it. Be aware, though. Be curious, and see how it goes. Hopefully, next week, you'll all have access to the new app.
Speaker 1:Can't wait to share it. And well done on completing another another week, but let's focus it back on the today. We'll see one big thing today. Get that done. Success.
Speaker 1:So this is your prompt to get moving or not. And guys, the weekend. Speak to you all soon.
