Hating Ourselves
Welcome to the one day at a time podcast where we forget about yesterday. We don't worry about tomorrow. It's what are we going to do today? This all matters because you've only ever had or will ever have the fantastic twenty four hours a day you're about to embark on. So hopefully this episode is going to give you some daily dose of wisdom that you can take action on today to improve your life.
Speaker 1:And remember, all it takes is one day at a time. Hello. Hello. Good morning, everyone. Just finished up on the mental health workshop with Ryan Williams.
Speaker 1:Another great session. And I wanna thank everybody who joins in and opens up. And, you know, I know it's hard. I know it's you gotta be vulnerable to open up and share these things, especially to strangers. But weirdly enough, sharing to strangers actually is a bit better than friends and family in a way, isn't it?
Speaker 1:But really touch upon a few things from there. And the first thing is like self love and how we talk to ourselves. Now we think, you might think it's a bit woo woo, tell myself I love me. I'm not sure how effective like affirmations are in terms of like being way off. So being like, you know, I'm the strongest person in the world and like that sort of stuff.
Speaker 1:Maybe that doesn't resonate with everyone, but you don't have to go that far. What you need to make sure is that when you do look at yourself and stuff, you give yourself positive affirmations. It doesn't have to be obscenely positive. You I mean? I think a lot of people get turned off the affirmation part of things because they think it's a bit woo woo.
Speaker 1:So think about when you speak to yourself as a way how you speak to yourself will then dictate your basically your emotions. So if you keep saying bad things to yourself all through the day, that internal dialogue or even saying the words out loud then create the emotions and then the emotions create the reaction in the body. And sometimes we can trigger the stress response by the negative words we use. And when we trigger the stress response too many times in a day, and a chronic stress response and chronic you know means long term like you know happening doesn't have to be continuously happening but it could be intermittent so it could be like you're doing it every hour or every other every 90 you keep putting on the stress response and you get let it build up. The problem with doing that is it's not just that, you know, it makes your day miserable because you keep thinking back to the stress thing or something you did like three years ago or your future event or like you keep this negative stuff.
Speaker 1:The reactions inside the body, not to bore you with all the science, but there's these things called glucocorticoids which get released. And these things basically make us hungrier for starchy sugary foods over long term, so it's not good. And they make yes. They make their appetite go up as opposed to going down if we just get stressed from like danger. You get stressed from like danger outside and it's acute which means this is a sharp response.
Speaker 1:You obviously don't need to feel hungry because you need to get rid of, you need to, your digestion stops. You know, whatever's in the bowels needs to go because you need to get running. You need to go and run away from danger. That's kind of the response. But if it's chronic, the opposite happens.
Speaker 1:So there's a lot of things that happen connected to that simple thing that we keep doing, which is the negative self talk. So if we can reduce the negative self talk, we reduce, and I do believe in this eightytwenty rule, 20% of things give us 80% of the results. It works negatively as well. 20% of the bad things we do equal 80% of the, you know, how bad it is. Do you mean?
Speaker 1:So negative self talk is definitely in that 20% that gives 80% of the bad stuff. So negative self talk and going to being a miserable person because we hate ourselves, being ready is really stressed all the time, being really stressed means we're gonna be always hungry, always hungry we're gonna always eating food, then we hate ourselves even more because we're eating food, we don't really want to eat and then we don't go train and it just it's a very vicious downward spiral. So you need to watch out for it. So your task today, big thing today is to try and catch these negative words you're using against yourself. And I want you to start writing them down as they come into your mind today.
Speaker 1:So be very aware today. Be very on guard on your mind. So every time you have it, this is like a CBT technique, a cognitive behavioral therapy technique where you track your thoughts. And there's a process you can go through. But I'm not going to share that now because it'll be maybe too much to take on.
Speaker 1:But all I want you to do is have open up notes on your phone or a notepad or whatever, or an Excel sheet live in your computer. And every time you have a negative thought about yourself is to write down what you actually said. And then at the end of the day, see how many times it happened. And then we then know kind of what we're dealing with in terms of how we handle it. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1:I think that'll be a massive win for a lot of you, especially on this journey where we trying to get healthier, we're trying to get fitter, we're trying to improve our mental health. Because ultimately we want to feel better about who we are as human beings, as a person. The end goal is we want to be comfortable with who we are. And we want to be happy with who we are. And there was a question by Lucy, which is a good one.
Speaker 1:She explained over COVID, the sense of purpose gets lost, I think this comes into the territory where if you try and give your life meaning as in right now, I'm going to give the rest of my forty years meaning, it's very hard to comprehend and do. What you can do is give meaning to the moments every day. So for example, if I was working today and my job, meaning was my job and then another pandemic hit tomorrow and the day after I lost everything. How do I have meaning to my life when I've lost everything that I've worked for? Well, it's the tasks that I do that day.
Speaker 1:I'll give meaning to going for a walk, I'll give meaning to saying hello to people. I'll give meaning to catching up my friends and being there. I'll give meaning to maybe learning something new that day. And if I can give meaning to the moments those add up to then making your life meaningful because your days are made up of your moments. That you're sorry, your life is made up of your moments.
Speaker 1:And you know, your days are made up of your moments. So if you look after the moments in the days, life will be fine. That's going to be sorted. Because Nonna, another great amazing tips last night, so definitely listen back to the chat guys, it's really good. She mentioned like tips about taking things, you know, one day at a time.
Speaker 1:And I know I say it and I know the podcast name is one day at a time. But the magic is it is magic. I'm not it's the magic sauce. Like, it's it's what we need to do. And when you realize that it's the one day at a time you need to do, things unlock and it just opens up.
Speaker 1:When we try and think the things in weeks and months and years and we try and this human construct of time we've got, it's overwhelming, and it is hard to to work with. And we basically don't live the only time you ever have is now. Well, more happens is we're actually living in the future. So whenever living in the time is getting past, and then that time we're not even living becomes the past. Then we look back at that past, we're like, do we do in our past?
Speaker 1:Well, you were always thinking about the future so that, you know, you are just sliding through, you know, time, but you're actually not living And to live day to day doesn't mean you have to go and do going crazy holidays and all that stuff. You just have to do the meaning to moments thing. Give meaning to the moments, you have to give the meaning to the moments not going to do it for you. You don't have to go and save the world or start a charity or start a business and change the world our way. It can be really small things.
Speaker 1:I know it sounds quite trivial, but it's true. But that's all I that's all I wanna say today. I I just want you to kind of track your negative thoughts today. Negative self talk mainly. I'll write it down.
Speaker 1:And then if possible, share in the group, if you don't mind, about what you've come up with and your mind, your crazy minds come up with because it will be automatic a lot of the time. And we will go from there and hopefully we'll get right well, right and be back every week anyway. So yeah, we'll discuss all of this next mental health workshop. But guys have a good day. Take things one day at a time of course, enjoying yourself, steps in, tracking macros, you know, the 20 that gives the 80 in terms of health and fitness is the macros and the steps will give 80% of the results, right?
Speaker 1:The rest of the stuff is like, you know, the small 20%. But in terms of muscle building, those three workouts a week, that not even 20% of the time of the week, those three workouts, three hours, which is, you know, way less than 20% of the hours of the week will give you 80% of the results. You know gaining muscle wise strength wise you know granted the protein intake as well but that's it speak to you all tomorrow. And that's it thank you for listening to the one day at a time podcast with your host, Galf Lier. Hopefully, you understood something I said.
Speaker 1:I hope that some wisdom kind of distilled through into your mind, and I want you to now action it today. I don't want you to think about tomorrow. I don't want you to think about yesterday. I don't want you to think about leaving a review on this podcast. I don't want you to think about going to another website.
Speaker 1:What I want you to do is as soon as this podcast ends, you will take action and make the most of today. Ground yourself today. Follow the one day at a time philosophy and your life will change.
