Help?
Welcome to the one day at a time podcast where we forget about yesterday. We don't worry about tomorrow. It's what are we going to do today? This all matters because you've only ever had or will ever have the fantastic twenty four hours a day you're about to embark on. Hopefully this episode is going to give you some daily dose of wisdom that you can take action on today to improve your life.
Speaker 1:And remember, all it takes is one day at a time. Alright, gang. We're back today with another daily voice note alone. Let's get straight into it because we're all short on time, aren't we? We need something to kick.
Speaker 1:We need a kick of the ass right now to get on with our day. Now I was in book club last night and we were talking about, first of all, we're talking about from the book we're reading the fear fight Emmanuel about putting people on pedestals. Nobody is better than you. Right? Yes, you can admire people, but don't put people on pedestals because it's stupid.
Speaker 1:And it makes you feel inferior and while you know they say never meet your heroes is true, nobody should be putting a pedestal and having that kind of mindset is already deregulating it. I mean you're already like putting yourself on the pecking order, which is then just probably causing all kinds of unconscious behaviors and activities going on your mind. Anyway, don't do it. Admire people, of course, but don't put people on a pedestal because nobody's better than anyone else. Next point was, why do we never ask for help?
Speaker 1:Okay, and this is a great conversation and nearly everybody in the book club said they don't ask for help. Now there's many reasons for this, there's reasons where they don't ask for help in case they look weak and then if they ask for help that means someone else will think they're not doing their job properly and if they're not doing their job properly they might think they lose their job or they don't get promotion, that's one. Another one is asking for help give someone a little bit of power over you because now you owe them a favor and there's a book called the 48 laws of power that talks about this, it's called, one of the laws is never, always reject the free lunch, which means never accept it. So if someone says, do you want a free lunch? Do you want a free drink?
Speaker 1:Do you want a free this? Do you want a free that? It's never free. There's a cost to it. And as a psych we know psychologically that it depends on the person.
Speaker 1:Most people today are very transactional. So meaning that if you ask for help, then you're gonna have to give them help back in the future. And it's not gonna be just like, yeah, I take help because you know what, I really like you and I think helping you is a good thing to do. So that doesn't happen. And another one is asking for help, like, don't wanna annoy people, you don't wanna suck energy from them, you don't wanna be you don't wanna give them more tasks to do, and you'd rather suffer yourself than ask for help.
Speaker 1:So that's another reason people don't ask for help. But there's another reason as well as the egotistical reason where your your ego your your ego is very fragile. Your ego, right, is is made up of your ego is just like fragmenting everything and trying to make make make sense of this reality that is life. It's trying to holding on to things. And your ego just doesn't want you to ask for help.
Speaker 1:Right? It doesn't want you to do it. It doesn't think you need help. You can do yourself. Right?
Speaker 1:You can do everything yourself. Well, everybody else does everything themselves. On social media, everybody does everything. Everybody's so successful. Well, why can't you be so successful?
Speaker 1:That's another reason. So really, you have to start pinpointing, like, what's the reasons you're asking for help? If you're not asking for help with your friends because you feel like they just won't help you, then you got the wrong friends, right? Because that's not good. If you can't ask your help your friends for help, then you need to look for new friends because friends should always be open and that communication channel should always be open whenever it's needed.
Speaker 1:Not to be taken advantage of because there are emotional vampires out there that do suck the emotion out of every single person they talk to and then wonder why people then end up not being able to talk to them because they are so drained by it that life is hard enough as it is. So there is a balance obviously, as with everything like you've got to be looking at these things in like in totality. So work it out. In work, life like look think about it, do you really need to look like you know everything and make your life harder than it is when actually you can ask for help and make your day 20% easier then you've got an easier day and then you have more energy later on when you finish work. Think about it, why do you want to be the person that always wants to be able to know everything and do everything yourself?
Speaker 1:It is stopping you from life energy that you could be using for things that matter more such as your friends and your family doing things outside of work, education, whatever it could be that you could be saving the energy and saving those fucks as Mark Manson says for something else. So do question and if you do need help instead of saying I need help, say I would like help with x. Like, what would you like help with today? Write it down. Write a list of things you'd like help with and then look at them and look, do I really need help with that?
Speaker 1:Like, is that something I could just do myself? Like, for example, Scott, I would like help cleaning my flat well you could do yourself Scott you lazy lazy lazy git like just do it I could okay and I'll actually listen to an audiobook that's fine I would need I would like help with this project and then looking at it like maybe asking someone for help with the project will make the project better therefore making that project better for the work and making your job more efficient because you've got an ego you're not letting that happen so actually everybody's suffering because you're not willing to ask for help. So do a list of these things I would like help with. I would like help with. And it could be as big as small as you want.
Speaker 1:And then just start asking for help today. Just ask a few people for help and something today and let me know how it how it get how you get on with it. And, yeah, I'd like to see how you feel after asking. I'd like to see if the help was given and, yeah get asking for help today and if you need help from me whatever I can do, help with macros, help with the training, help with knowing what to do next into the plan, help with whatever then, ask me, you know, and my doors are open 20, nocturnal basically. And the next book and book club is Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl.
Speaker 1:We're starting on the next Thursday is the last book club of this book but then we start in that book so do I'll put a link in but do purchase it ready it's a very short book it'll only be like two weeks of book club so it's called Man's Search for Meaning. Now go and ask for help and I'll speak to you tomorrow. And that's it. Thank you for listening to the one day at a time podcast with your host, Golf Leer. Hopefully, you understood something I said.
Speaker 1:I hope that some wisdom kind of distilled through into your mind, and I want you to now action it today. I don't want you to think about tomorrow. I don't want you to think about yesterday. I don't want you to think about leaving a review on this podcast. I don't want you to think about going to another website.
Speaker 1:What I want you to do is as soon as this podcast ends, you will take action and make the most of today. Ground yourself today. Follow the one day at a time philosophy, and your life will change.
