How Do We Stop Bad Habits?
Welcome to the one day at a time podcast where we forget about yesterday. We don't worry about tomorrow. It's what are we going to do today? This all matters because you've only ever had or will ever have the fantastic twenty four hours a day you're about to embark on. So hopefully this episode is going to give you some daily dose of wisdom that you can take action on today to improve your life.
Speaker 1:And remember, all it takes is one day at a time. Good morning gang, we are speaking today about a very important topic and that would be the topic of how do we stop those bad habits happening, how do we stop when we feel anxiety or that triggers anxiety then we desire ice cream and the reward is that amazing feeling of eating ice cream right so the reward is quite big that ice cream must amazing. What happens is so if you've read the chimp paradox, is is that probably explains the brain in the most simplistic form. You've got the human side, right, and you've got the chimp side. So the human side wants to do the right thing.
Speaker 1:It wants to not go and eat all those ice cream and drink eight bottles of beer. Right? He doesn't want to do that but however the chimp side and then the computer where you store all your little memories and feelings that's a lot more powerful. So willpower doesn't really crack it and I've never found like willpower to crack it really but I've come across this really interesting book and study, and it's actually when I'm thinking about it, it's kind of what I've been doing in a sense to stop my bad habits from happening. So I'm gonna walk you through it now and see if it see if it makes sense for you.
Speaker 1:So people think you need to stop the trigger and I think it's important that we figure out what triggers so if you've got cues triggers in your house of eating junk food all that stuff obviously if we reduce the triggers we're gonna reduce the chances of going on a bad habit that's fine. However it's the reward really we need to look at. So dopamine which is you know released in anticipation of something not in the moment like serotonin, dopamine is the anticipation so when you when something triggers, you get the dopamine rush on the and you get any anticipation of the reward. Right? And the reward is always we always dream her up.
Speaker 1:It's amazing. It's awesome. The food, the car. I just wanna I just wanna go and go on my phone, go on TikTok for a bit, go on Instagram. Oh, so nice.
Speaker 1:Eat ice cream. Oh my god. Watch Love Island. It's so nice. Oh my god.
Speaker 1:That reward's amazing. Just wanna do it instead of what I really need to do right now. Okay? So what we need to do is we need to update what the chimp believes. Right?
Speaker 1:Bear with me. What the chimp believes is the reward. The reward needs to be dulled down to reality because at the moment we're always thinking the reward is so much better than there is and then we always regret it don't we? We always regret when we binge eat, we always regret when we drink too much alcohol. So here's what you do right, you when you get a trigger for a bad habit so you want to go and eat ice cream and go on your phone and you want to order the dominoes okay, you know do it right but pay very close attention right and how you feel whilst you're doing it.
Speaker 1:So instead of being like this is amazing right you need to stop and actually be mindful and go right okay I'm now procrastinating eating ice cream feel awesome okay but include all the feelings right and you'll definitely have bad feelings because we all know we do right. So you need to start thinking well I'm not feeling very productive I feel quite guilty doing this, I don't really need to eat this ice cream it's nice but I shouldn't be doing it I could have saved money as well. And then you basically start thinking stuff like am I saying that the emotional reward of drinking in an entire case of beer might include a really soul crushing hangover, tomorrow, which is gonna give me terrible day, right. You start saying things like this in the moment, you start saying stuff what do I get from this it's my fourth beer I this is what I always do and I'm it's clicking with me now I'm always like what am I actually Scott what are you actually getting from having another beer another beer like what are you getting from this Right, it's not the reward you think it's gonna be right it's not and you you basically bring you shine light on all the feelings that are associated when you're doing the action to get that big reward you've built up in your head right.
Speaker 1:So you are updating how you feel about the reward of doing that action right. Do you get what I mean? So when he's talking about it now I'm hoping I'm saying in a clear way because there's a lot more to it, so you need to if you're watching TV right and you're eating nice from yourself you can start saying you know this isn't really that good is it? Right, you know you need to keep you need to be in the moment and just kind of relay what you're feeling. Okay and then you get disenchanted by these rewards that we think we're gonna get from, you know just lashing out and having procrastinating for hours going on social media and eating junk food.
Speaker 1:Right? You you kind of take that autopilot off. Right? And then you basically start saying this isn't this isn't doing it for me anymore. Right?
Speaker 1:This isn't doing it for me. This isn't all cracked up to be. You let that feeling sink in. And sometimes, I know some of you have done it before, you've started eating ice cream, you've started eating that junk food, you have actually stopped halfway through. This happened once, maybe twice, think about it, and you've gone, why am I doing this?
Speaker 1:What is the point in this? It's not gonna make me feel better at all. Right? It's not going to do it. So when it happens again, and it might not be the next time or the one after, you start then replaying the the the thought you had of it being terrible and then that dulls the reward and then it dulls your desire and that dopamine rush to go and do that action.
Speaker 1:Does that make sense? Okay, so we wanna have this like new mantra like this. Let me let's wait a second. That's the mantra like, okay. I wanna go on social and and order ice cream.
Speaker 1:Didn't make me feel so good last time. And then I was I regretted it. I don't know if I should do it, because willpower is gonna be too too much you're not gonna be able to use your willpower. Okay so let it happen and let's switch the, the memory essentially that's what you need to do. So to sum it up, know how the brain works so read the chimp paradox, read these books about the brain, read the atomic habits and stuff like that first of all.
Speaker 1:Then you know that there's two parts in the mind you know there's a chimp. You know there's a human part. Then you know there's a storage where you store, you know, your memories and stuff. And the chimp will go to the memories quick and and pull out what it was last time. So we need to replace that memory.
Speaker 1:So even if the chimp gets to it, which it will quicker than the human side and tries to trigger a desire, we'll we'll we're dulling those down to their realities and not to their perceived amazingness, which we always regret. And then you need to map your behavior. So what do I get from this? You know what am I really getting from this? And you really integrate that into your mindset and then pay attention right give in to some you know next time you have these cravings give in right then observe your feelings be very very know, it's mindfulness basically.
Speaker 1:Yes. This cookie tastes nice. Does but do I regret it? Am I am I feeling so bloated and horrible now? Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's nice. But, oh, I feel terrible now. Can't even my heart is racing. The sugar there's too much sugar I feel terrible oh can't sleep right think get all of it in right and your new mantra is wait a second let's see right because you're not your thoughts and feelings okay you're not they're automatic most of the time you have to observe them, you observe them with curiosity right and after you do that the urge will fade, Fade. Alright.
Speaker 1:It just will. So I think this is it. This is this is maybe something this is definitely a tactic to start trying. I think like a lot of us are dealing with moments where you know we're like, need the willpower. Willpower is not a long term solution.
Speaker 1:Let's upgrade our memory, to the reality of these these kind of like actions we're doing. Okay? And here's an old maxim for you. Watch your thoughts, they become words, watch your words they become actions, watch your actions they become habits, watch your habits they become character, watch your character it becomes your destiny right. More words I say there, watch.
Speaker 1:Pay attention, mindfulness and that's your one big thing today be very present today when you're eating everything be very present in your work be very present in your workout get off your phone be very present stop just going on your phone all the time be present in what you're doing give it more meaning to your moments in that way. That's your task today I hope this is useful, I'll post a link to a few books about this week all to read but have a great day. I am driving all the way back to Wales today. I'm picking up a bar for my mother's back garden, you know one of those outdoor bars with a beer thing as well, awesome. So you know pick gotta pick one of them up in the way.
Speaker 1:So have a good day, guys, and I'll speak to you tomorrow. And that's it. Thank you for listening to the one day at a time podcast with your host, Golf Leer. Hopefully, you understood something I said. I hope that some wisdom kind of distilled through into your mind, and I want you to now action it today.
Speaker 1:I don't want you to think about tomorrow. I don't want you to think about yesterday. I don't want you to think about leaving a review on this podcast. I don't want you to think about going to another website. What I want you to do is as soon as this podcast ends, you will take action and make the most of today.
Speaker 1:Ground yourself today. Follow the one day at a time philosophy, and your life will change.
