How To Regain Confidence
Welcome to the one day at a time podcast with your host and the future leader of The Republic Of Wales, Sveldfjer. Now this might be the only podcast in the world where you actually have to reduce the speed instead of increasing it. However, what I wanna get over to you is that the past is gone. The future doesn't exist. So if you wanna make the most of your life, you've gotta make the most of these moments every single day.
Speaker 1:And this podcast is gonna help you live a healthier, more fulfilled life, hopefully, giving you some wisdom to take away every single day. So I'm gonna shut up now so you can get on with listening to the next episode. Alright then, guys. Straight into it. I need to change the intro tonight because I think it gets it gets repetitive.
Speaker 1:What should I intro? What please let me know what song I should use in my intro. Should I go, like, proper, like, rock or should I go, like, back to the saxophone, back to Cobra Kai? Don't know. Let me know.
Speaker 1:Let me know. Anyway, what I've realized, maybe I knew this, but I'm just realizing again after doing the back in the loop sessions is the reason the people people's why into doing health and fitness stuff. And the main one is to what I see is to regain confidence so you can stop holding back when you can make the most of your life. That's, like, the main why is because if we're confident in ourselves, we will do more things, obviously. And if we do more things, we make the most of our lives.
Speaker 1:Is that true? Yes or no? Hell yes. True. So let me just cover this topic and maybe it helps.
Speaker 1:Okay? And I think it's one of the main reasons people join as a deep why. But before we start, let's have a look at the word confidence, the definition of it or the origin. So the French word confident in the sixteen hundreds, and it was derived from the Latin word confidentem, probably not saying that right, is it means fully assured, having strong belief but the Latin version means firmly trusting, reliant, self confident, bold, daring and to have full trust or reliance. Now that's a much more of a vibrant explanation of the word confidence and what I love about it is that confidence is to have full trust in ourselves or to be fully assured of ourselves.
Speaker 1:That's what essentially confidence breaks down to for me anyway and I think you can pick any word, it reliant, bold, is it firmly trusting, but it's to do with trust and belief and assurance in ourselves. Now it's important not to mix up fully assured with ourselves, with being assured of the end result or the end outcome. We can't always control end out end outcomes in things we do no matter how perfect the execution. Look. The stoics would say, you know, faith permitting after doing stuff.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm gonna do this faith permitting, and the Vikings, obviously, watching a lot of it. They would they always say, if the gods will it. If the gods will gods gods everything every fight they went into, it was like they would release control. They were like, you're totally scared. If the gods will, you win we're gonna win.
Speaker 1:We're gonna win. If they're gonna if we're gonna lose, we're gonna lose. I just bypassed the worry of it. And I think it's a good way to look at things actually is to let go of the control of the end result and trust you'll do your best, and that's all you can do. Fear permitting you'll win, fear permitting you succeed but you just do your best.
Speaker 1:And the roots, this is the root of having confidence in all you do, that you have assured and self reliance and trust that you will do your best, that you can do your best, that you just do your best in the day. If you ever had confidence in, like, a %, you know, in everything you did, you wouldn't hold back, would you? But many of us get our confidence from the false part of confidence, and that's from our wins. When we start winning, we start getting confident, and we think that they're linked. Right?
Speaker 1:And, you know, it may be the case. But, for example, in sports, someone might get confidence winning 10 fights in a row, and then they lose a fight, and then all their confidence is gone even though in that fight they maybe did the best fight. Okay? So that's a false kind of connection to confidence. And it's the same as someone who loses 20 pounds and goes, wow.
Speaker 1:I've I could do it. I could do it. I've lost 20 pounds. The way it's flawed is, like, in two months time, the same actions you do, same effort, and you might not be getting the same results. And then you lose your confidence.
Speaker 1:You lose, like, hope, and you start giving up, you start going well I'm not getting the same results, I'm not winning, confidence goes. But why has it gone? It's because you're mistaken confidence with the end result all the time, the winning. If we tie confidence to consistently win in we will never unleash our true full confidence. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1:So confidence comes from putting ourselves essentially what I believe in different scenarios all the time and being in uncomfortable scenarios, trying new things, and we survive. Right? Does nothing bad happens. We do it, and we go, wow. I did that.
Speaker 1:You know, I didn't I wasn't as good as that person. Didn't win, but I did something. Did something I never done. I was scared. You get confidence in doing new things all the time, putting yourself into uncomfortable scenarios, and you gain confidence by the fact you can do it and survive.
Speaker 1:Right? And if you can do it, survive and do your best in new things and release in control of trying to win all the time, you will be able to go into every single scenario of confidence. So you could do hiking this weekend. You could try dancing next weekend. You could do a tough work or class you've never done the week after.
Speaker 1:You can go to a networking event. You could do And none of these you have to be the best at, but your confidence start going up. Your confidence is going up because you are being you're a shoe ring yourself. You can do these things. You can do anything.
Speaker 1:You can go in any scenario. You can go in any environment, and you do the best of these circumstances without tied to a specific outcome. So you'll notice a lot of people that do a lot of traveling, to hostels, they got a lot of confidence because they're always in different scenarios, different people, and essentially they're forcing themselves to be put into these uncomfortable scenarios. What they realize is quickly is that none of them is as bad as you make up in your head, and the second part is, like, they just gain more and more confidence in because they meet different variety of people, and that's fine. They're like wow we can do it.
Speaker 1:And they get confidence from that and they love confidence for life. So the confidence comes from being able to adapt to different environments. That's step one of confidence. And I don't think it's possible to get true confidence unless we are able to do this. And as a stoic week, we've gotta bring some, stoicism in here.
Speaker 1:So Epictetus had his fear in Hercules. Right? So this is what he says from from his, lectures. What would have become of Hercules do you think if there had not been no lion, hydra, stag or boar and no savage criminals to rid the world of? What would have what would have he done in the absence of such challenges?
Speaker 1:He never would have developed into the mighty Hercules after all. What would have been the use of those arms, that physique, and that noble soul without crisis or conditions to stir him into action? Hercules became Hercules because he completed the 12 labors. He went on a journey of the unknown and tackled different obstacles and overcame them. He didn't know he was gonna win or not.
Speaker 1:Didn't know. But he did his best each time. And this goes for you. This goes for you. You can't unlock full confidence and become someone resilient, assured, and trusting of yourself unless you two take the harder path of facing challenges and trying new things.
Speaker 1:So think now. Think back to a time where you didn't wanna do something like a presentation, skydive, sports, meeting a new group of people. But after that, you felt amazing. You did it. You felt alive.
Speaker 1:You were bursting, you were just energy boom, I wanna do it, I wanna do it again. Right? We always feel the most resistance to things we should % be doing. That's just a fact. Feeling resistance, go and do it.
Speaker 1:That's your path. You know, Ryan Holiday talks about obstacle is away. Whatever that obstacle is, go through it. And on the other side of that resistance and fear is confidence in knowing we are capable. And if we don't we you know, if we didn't win to the best presidents of all time, doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:And Epictetus says this as well, we do not abandon any discipline for the despair of ever being the best in it. So do we have to have the best body in the world? Do we have to have the best mind? Do we have to have the most money, the best house, the best clothing? Like obviously not.
Speaker 1:Is someone gonna be better than you in every single aspect? You just have to laugh right, there's millions of humans, of course it is. It doesn't matter, it shouldn't impact your confidence. Right? So you have to let go of the perfectionism and embrace being a doer, a person that does things that scares them and smiles in the face of these challenges knowing it adds to that ever growing fire of confidence.
Speaker 1:And you might be thinking now, Scott, what the hell has this got to do with me losing fat or dropping weight and looking better? Because most people on the total membership 80 to 90% of people want to lose weight or look better than their body. They want their body to look better to gain confidence. But our confidence shouldn't come from our physical appearance. Of course, some of it does.
Speaker 1:Of course, does. Look good, feel good. They always say that. Look good, feel good. And that's got a truth to it.
Speaker 1:But we always have control over our physical body. We're gonna get old. We're gonna lose the ability to train, play sports, workout. We're gonna look we're not gonna look as vibrant as we are in our early twenties. If you tie your entire confidence how you look or your personality to how you look, then you're in for some dark days when that changes.
Speaker 1:And it changes because that's just life, it just does. So we can't ignore the fact that if we drop weight, we feel better, we get more confident, fit in the clothes you always wanted to do, we're wearing dress you always wanted to. Right? But we don't have to wait until that change has happened. We don't have to wait for the huge physical changes to to start skyrocketing our confidence because we see people increase their confidence early on in the fitness journey.
Speaker 1:Even they lose a few pounds, nothing physical has changed. The confidence has completely changed. And this is what you have to remember, you don't have to have all the physical changes done. You might have more confidence down the line when you have done the physical changes and you feel strong and you feel more of yourself, that's great, that will add to your confidence down the line. But you don't have to wait until then.
Speaker 1:And I think it does come from the fact as well that you go to sleep that night knowing you did your best, that's when you gain confidence. You did that workout, you walked the 6,000 steps a day, you tracked your nutrition, you said no to that office cake, hard hard work. You exercised your discipline, you did your best that day and you did what you said you're gonna do. That's the assurance to oneself, the original meaning of confidence, and Latin meaning you did what you said you were gonna do and if you can do that you can confidence in yourself. So you can have days right, you gain the assurance you are a person who can do this great.
Speaker 1:You're going to fail at days as well. You're going to fail. But we have self assurance and trust that we'll always try and improve our day, do the best of our day, that's all we can do. But sometimes our best isn't enough and that's fine as well because some days there's a party and it's a big party at the end of a workday and there's lots of food there and drinks and you just wanna you wanna let go for a bit and you do it. And maybe you really didn't wanna do it, but it happens, But all you do is your best.
Speaker 1:And we learn from it. Like, does that make us feel better the day after having 10 drinks and eating all our food? If you're fine with it, happy days, except that some people are not happy with it. The next time they go, do know what? I remember how I felt days after, reduce my intake.
Speaker 1:But it's just you coming you approaching a situation with I will gonna try my best outcome unnecessary, don't need don't need to know the outcome, which you were trying the best. May the gods be with me. Do you know what I mean? So I think it's a good way to to release. But I think thinking of the fitness way, the health and fitness way, if you really want to start gaining confidence, you don't have to reach a fat loss goal now.
Speaker 1:You can start by trying all the different life workouts in Turtle, stuff you've never done. You can go on the courses section, you can do the beginner's yoga course, gain confidence by knowing, wow. I can actually do yoga. Mental. Oh, I can do martial arts course.
Speaker 1:I can actually kick some zed, me his in. I can defend myself. Wow. I like, I didn't think that I could be someone who would learn how to defend myself, but after doing that, I can. So you could start doing these things to build confidence, self assurance without the weight loss part of things.
Speaker 1:Right? And you'll just realize after a few sessions confidence grows, and that's at the start of things. That is the start of things. And I think another way to do it is to join the Zoom sessions, put your video on, go into breakout rooms, and have a chat. Introduce yourself.
Speaker 1:You're human. You spoke to thousands and thousands of humans in the past. There's no need to worry about speaking to people on Zoom. Yes. Sometimes it can feel daunting, but we're just a chat.
Speaker 1:And you do more and more. You meet people who go, wow. Everyone's so nice. Wow. But I'm afraid of going on Zoom to chat to these people.
Speaker 1:It's amazing. Community, like minded people on the same path as me, wanna help me. Join WhatsApp accountability groups. Put yourself out there. Chat to people.
Speaker 1:Ask people, do wanna do this? Do you wanna do that? Does anyone anyone live in this area? Do you go for a hike? Whatever it is, engage with the community.
Speaker 1:You gain confidence because you know you can just speak to random people you just met, and you can support each other. And even then, the next steps come into the in person events. Some people went on their own to the turtle events, and it's amazing. Came on their own. There's no doubt their confidence has improved by being able to go to an event on their own, might know members, of course, but still go somewhere on your own, 50 to hundred people.
Speaker 1:Of course, you're gonna gain confidence. Wow. Can do it. Do it again. Do it again.
Speaker 1:But each time you do it, you're seeing the similar people you met, the same people, you improve those relationships. You know, wow, can build new relationships by doing things on my own by putting myself out there. It takes guts, right? But I think, you know, it does have a massive impact. And again, it ties back to doing things we're uncomfortable with, new scenarios we're uncomfortable with environments that then translates into confidence.
Speaker 1:If we can put ourselves in loads of different environments and try new things over and over and over, we'll try anything in the future. We'd be like, well, I've done literally loads of stuff in the last year that I always wanted to do, but I've pulled off, but I've done it now. It was yeah. Of course, I was nervous beforehand, but turn our nervous energy into, like, positivity, like, oh, this is good energy. I'm nervous, which means a good sign, and you'll be able to do anything.
Speaker 1:You have the self assurance you can try anything. You don't have to be the best, you don't to be the number one networker, but you put yourself out there. And I think that combined with achieving your physical goals of improving your body composition to fit into whatever dresses you want to do, to be more of yourself. You combine those two confidences, the confidence I've just spoke about on the one of achieving that end physical goal because yes, of course we're to be more confident when we feel physically ourselves more. You're basically unstoppable at that point.
Speaker 1:You will try stuff. People will be like, wow. Like, what? You're gonna change your job. You're nuts.
Speaker 1:You're like, yeah. Feel good. I can do it. You do stuff. You take risks.
Speaker 1:You take bigger risks. See it all the time. It does change your life. So, hopefully, that helps people who, wanna get their confidence back. There's two paths there.
Speaker 1:One you can start right now and the other will come in time, and I think it's a good way to look at it. So to you people that have lost your confidence when came back, use this as a blueprint. Let me know how you get on. But, yeah, enjoy your day, basically. We'll see one big thing.
Speaker 1:I haven't asked Dan a while, haven't I? We'll see one big thing, guys. Are you still doing your one big thing? Are you trying to do 10 things and end up doing nothing? Are you trying to do 50 things and do one thing?
Speaker 1:But the one thing is something that's not even important from that 50. So you wanna focus on that one big thing. That one big thing is gonna move some kind of needle today. It is hump day, middle of the week, so anything you wanted to get done on Monday or Tuesday you haven't, don't let it go anymore. Get it done today before the weekend comes, and then you gotta do it next week.
Speaker 1:But enjoy yourselves, guys. I'll speak to you tomorrow. And that is it for today's episode. So hopefully, you took something away from it. If you didn't, here's what need to take away.
Speaker 1:Stop wasting time on social media. Stop wasting time gossiping. You've only got a day to live. Today's the only day you ever have. So if there's anything to take away from this podcast, even if you can't understand the word I say, even if you didn't resonate with the wisdom I try to deliver, this is a reminder of you daily to live one day at a time.
Speaker 1:Give your moments meaning today and don't be fooled by thinking you've got unlimited amount of days. But if you can make the most of today, I'm telling you, you'll have a fulfilled life. So enjoy your day and hopefully I'll see you back tomorrow. Do daily to live one day at a time. Give your moments meaning today and don't be fooled by thinking you've got unlimited amount of days.
Speaker 1:But if you can make the most of today, I'm telling you, you love a fulfilled life. So enjoy your day and hopefully I'll see you back tomorrow.
