Jacs takeover: Chat with Ryan Williams
Good morning. This is Scott Clear's One Day at a Time podcast taken over by Jackie, one of the turtles. And this morning, I'm incredibly excited to welcome Ryan Williams to the podcast. Ryan is our mental health coach and a qualified mental health professional and is an absolutely awesome person. Good morning Ryan.
Speaker 2:Morning Jack, morning.
Speaker 1:So we've had a bit of an adventure getting this podcast out this morning. After recording last night, it all came out a bit wibbly and so Ryan very generously has given his time again. But he also is giving his time with the coolest attitude ever. It was not a problem for him at all. And I just wonder how do you wake up and be so positive and so happy?
Speaker 2:Do you know, Jack, just to get it out of the way, get the elephants out of the room, yesterday was quite possibly the best podcast episode Yes. There's ever been in in the history of podcasts. So today is just gonna be a tribute. It's gonna be nothing like it was last night. I hate anything rehearsed, so it'll be completely different.
Speaker 2:This is just a tribute. The other thing that I said yesterday as well is that, you know, I've been friends with Scott for five years, and or maybe maybe a bit longer. And we're good friends, and only now I'm being invited onto this podcast. So what's going on? What is going on?
Speaker 2:But yeah, honestly, just an honor and a privilege to jump on to this. So of course I was gonna do it again this morning. Hopefully, this recording goes through well.
Speaker 1:We're lucky to have you, honestly.
Speaker 2:In answering your question, to be honest, I don't know. I I don't I don't think I wake up every single day positively, but I can't put my finger on a on a time where I've woken up grumpy either. Just I just kind of feel like you just gotta get up and just get on with it, crack on with things. And I think routine is something that's really important. And just just putting yourself taking yourself out of your comfort zone.
Speaker 2:You know, I I've been down with my father-in-law in in Carmarthen. I'm I'm not from around here. I don't know. I I know hardly anyone down here, actually, and I've joined a gym down here. And, honestly, I've been to the gym all over the world, and this place has been the hardest cookie to crack, to be honest.
Speaker 2:I've gone in, and I've, like, tried to have a little chat with a couple of the locals, and they just look at you like they've you've killed their cat. Oh, no. So I just I've been, you know, going back and forth to the gym, and I've been going home and saying to my wife, god, nobody really talks there. And, you know, they just kind of they all look at you like you're not from Ramjeet. Quite a close knit community where everyone knows everyone.
Speaker 2:And I think yesterday, I finally cracked it.
Speaker 1:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:I was talk I was talking for a good half hour to a couple of people in there yesterday, so I think I'm one of the locals now. That's always been my thing. It's something my my wife will laugh about. I I'm I'll talk to anyone because I think talking is therapy. I love getting to know people, and that's the thing.
Speaker 2:I think life is full of opportunity no matter what you do. You could just be going to work today, and on your way to work, you see someone, you meet someone, you become friends, you know life is definitely full of opportunity.
Speaker 1:Yeah it reminds me of actually one of those Instagram reels where someone's driving along and they see people and they just yell out compliments to them. And what's fascinating is that the people respond and the conversation begins. They'll be like I love your outfit today, you look amazing and the person always is really flattered and engages in a chat. I always admire little kids too. They often run up and be like, I like your hair.
Speaker 1:It's a way to, like, engage and connect.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It was it was perhaps a different connection yesterday at the gym. I saw my opportunity. I was doing I was at I was at the bar. I was the And, you know, I was I was heading for 12 reps.
Speaker 2:I got to my eighth, and I started choking. Poor gym etiquette, really. The guy next to me definitely let off, and I I literally couldn't breathe. It was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Speaker 1:in my life.
Speaker 2:And I just turned to him and said, mate, like, I'm gonna be smelling that for two weeks. I had four more reps in me, but I just couldn't breathe. And, you know, he was laughing, and his mate was laughing, and and then we just had a had a good chat about training and well, all things really. It just it just set off the banter. I think I put the the I set the banter bar.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So guys who, you know, obviously, one day at a time. It's also related to, like, fitness and stuff, obviously, being a turtle. So if you are in the gym, just make it one of those rules that you don't let off mid mid reps.
Speaker 1:We're going deep today, guys. Keep checking.
Speaker 2:No fighting at the gym.
Speaker 1:No fighting at the gym. We're a fat free zone in this podcast. Oh my god that's so funny. And actually that makes me think in terms of like humor and mental health have you ever done any therapy or work around the benefits of laughing and bringing that into your well-being?
Speaker 2:Yeah honestly I think there's obviously a time and a place, but when I worked on the wards that was one of my kind of strategies with patients. So I do a lot of what we call de escalation, verbal de escalation. I've worked in pretty intense environments, psychiatric intensive care. I've worked in, you know, the forensic environment, they should be in prison, but they've committed mental health problems. So, like, quite aggressive.
Speaker 2:You know? Gosh. One of the places that I worked, I think you'd be attacked, like, multiple times daily, or certainly the threat of being attacked was there. You're always kind of on edge. People were always just to, you know, get into that escalation point.
Speaker 2:And verbal de escalation was a huge part of my job. Actually my humor was the thing that would save the day in lots and lots of circumstances. You know, just being able to stay calm and, know, crack a joke at the time that was perhaps inappropriate, but it would bring things down, you know, and and, you know, you can't the thing is that I I'd always say to to to people is be nice to everyone. So the world is full of kind people. If you can't find one, be one.
Speaker 2:And, you know, I think it's so hard to be horrible to someone who's nice. You know, if you're if you're coming with some positivity and you're using humor, it's so hard to be like, oh, yeah, but you're this. Because you're making someone laugh. You're all you're bringing is positivity. And if you come with a defensive attitude and you're on edge, they're sensing it, and they'll become defensive.
Speaker 2:And then when two people are defensive, it just escalates. It's definitely something I used to use. But like laughing therapy is massively used. It's definitely something that's used in mental health. And I see it with my daughter.
Speaker 2:We've been in the car, me and my wife, and Alf start fake laughing, and then my daughter starts to like laugh. She laughs hysterically and then I'm laughing because she's laughing and my fake laugh is turned to a real laugh and that's what happened.
Speaker 1:That's quite beautiful. I also really love you know if you can't find a nice person be a nice person and it reminds me of when I was battling with depression. I got advice to do some volunteering, which honestly, we should all be doing anyway. But the amount of joy it brought me doing something for other people was more beneficial, I think, for me than it was even for them.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I think it's always through your struggles that you that you realize like, you realize a lot about yourself when you're in a when you're in a a bad place. And I think there's always there's always goodness to come out of every bad situation. So, you know, me myself, you know, I've been I felt low for periods in my life.
Speaker 2:I've struggled, and I specifically remember a period of time that was really tough for me. And me going to the shop after the gym, I went there was a little next door. Right? So I remember going to the shop, and this, like, old lady, like like, bumped her trolley into me. And my instant reaction because I was already there, you know, my, like, my mood was low.
Speaker 2:I was, like, heightened. I nearly turned around and said something to her. I felt myself say like, you know, wanting to say, like, well, watch where you're going. And that me nearly saying that hit me. I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 2:What's going on? Like, you would you would never do this normally. What's going on? And I remember coming home and reading something, and that was the message that I took. And it's something that I always advise people is that it's just showing up, just doing what you do, what you usually do, staying true to who you are because you can lose yourself.
Speaker 2:And and then all of a sudden, you're just, you know, you're this angry person, this person who's not sociable anymore, and you've all of a sudden, your identity is gone. You're identifying as someone who's who's depressed. And I think, you know, I took that message, and I was just like, do you know what? I'm just gonna paint a smile on my face. I'm gonna fake my happiness.
Speaker 2:And I do you know what? I think that period of my time, I was the most chatty I've ever been. There there was a running joke in the gym. I would turn up at the gym. I'd probably spend three hours, but two hours would be just socializing.
Speaker 2:I'd go right people would I I think in the end, they used to hate bumping me because they would just talk their ears off. I made so many friends, though, honestly. Yeah. Just and it's the gym that really saved me when when I was, you know, going through stuff because I was living in Swansea. I didn't really know anyone.
Speaker 2:Was just after uni. I had no, like, friends or family down here, and I just had to kind of start from scratch. And, you know, the gym was a place where I just met people, got chatting, and everything fell into place. You know? I ended up renting a house off somebody I met at the gym.
Speaker 2:I ended up working with people that I met at the gym, you know, socializing with them, training with them. It was it's just all of those things just based off the gym. And yeah. I think so two things. If you're feeling low, anxious, stressed, whatever it might be, routine is super, super important to you.
Speaker 2:Just show up. Just show up and do the things that you would normally do. And exercise. Exercise. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:Is that yeah. There's so many benefits.
Speaker 1:And I'd add a third one there too is just the power of community. Because a big thing for me and even doing this podcast, and I've mentioned a few times, this is an absolute nightmare for me, in terms of being in front of an audience, having my voice be the focus. But you know, the power of community to build you up when you're just not feeling your best self or you're trying a new thing and you've got a supportive group around you is just phenomenal in shaping your mental health.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And, you know, I think with the gym as well and particularly, you know, when you're going in, you're training with other people, you just get it you're going in and you're getting it done. There's no excuses. You're there. You're gonna train.
Speaker 2:You're just going in and you're getting it done, and, you know, you're just cracking on with things. I think sometimes when we're stressed in life and and certain things happen, we like, avoidance comes in and we just avoid things. And then that just builds up and builds up. And I think with the gym, it's just, you know, you go in there. There's no pressure.
Speaker 2:There's no stress. It's just you're going in. You're following a program, you're doing it. You're doing what you need to do. You're going in.
Speaker 2:You're getting it done. You know? And I think that's something that you could just show up to the gym, and, you know, you don't need to worry or stress about anything really. You're used to all the exercises. You've done them before.
Speaker 2:It's familiar to you. And, you know, obviously, the the science behind it, the the physiological things that happen, the chemicals that get produced, your serotonin, your dopamine, your brain derived neurotropic factor. You know, it's it's like all of these things just get fired up when you exercise. Impacts on your moods definitely.
Speaker 1:That's super interesting and also you've just reminded me and we have talked about it before but in terms of avoidance, you said something to me that was really impactful to me around. I had a problem with depression, when I was oversleeping and you mentioned that oversleeping is often caused by a sense of avoidance of whatever it is you don't want to deal with or even the day itself. I was just wondering if you could talk a little bit about the importance of sleep.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. So we were talking about this yesterday. Sleep. Sleep is super super important to our mental health, and I often say that there's a fine line because we know the importance, but that can also tip you over the edge of not sleeping because we put pressure on ourselves to sleep, and if you put pressure on yourself to sleep, you're not sleeping.
Speaker 2:So it's really trying to cut the fine balance of knowing its importance, but not really putting pressure on yourself. The the one thing that is super, super important well, there's a there's a few key rules actually with getting a good night's sleep. It's remembering that it's all about routine, and your circadian rhythm, our internal body clocks need that routine. So having the same wake up time every day is super, super important. No matter what type of sleep you've had, even if you've, like, fallen asleep at, say, 03:00 and your start up time or wake up time is six, still wake up at six.
Speaker 2:That's the first really important rule. The second really important rule is have no nap times through the day. Do not nap. It's a no. If you nap in the day, you you lose the sleep need at night.
Speaker 2:You sleep first. You just end up not needing as long, and then you just get in into the cycle. And what happens? You just start your circadian rhythm doesn't know when it needs to be awake or asleep, and it just goes all over the place. So no napping from the day and making sure you have a good sort of downtime.
Speaker 2:Lots of us are on our sort of phones, laptops, iPads in front of the TV. Maybe you've got the lights on in in your house, you know, and it's bright. That's going to tell our circadian rhythm that it's daytime and we've got to stay awake. It's going arouse us. So I'm a stickler for this.
Speaker 2:I've done it with my daughter, and honestly, she slept so well nearly all of her life, and we would dim everything down coming up to her bedtime. I would brush my teeth in the dark. I know it sounds strange, but I really just want everything to just be really really dark for a good sort of half hour, hour before bed.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow.
Speaker 2:That's telling my body this darkest time to sleep. Because, actually, the blue light can can trick our brain into thinking that it's daytime. And this is the thing that the brain and its neurons, they fire off in what they what they're used to. It's like patterns of thought, patterns of movement. It they all fire.
Speaker 2:It fires off of of of, like, basically routines. If you're doing something consistently, you'll keep on doing it, and that's the same with sleep. So the brain is such a honestly, such an intelligent thing. I've said this one in my on my mental health q and a before, and it's called the pencil test. So, basically, what happened is people had a pencil, and they put it between them.
Speaker 2:If you put the pencil between your lips, you look quite sullen. You look sad. So they had people who had no pencils. They had people who had a group of people who had pencils in their mouth where they looked sad, and then they had people holding pencils in their teeth where the lips are then rising, so it looks like you're smiling or you're laughing. And they put them all through these tests and say they made them watch like a a comedy, and then they got them the score.
Speaker 2:Now the people who were normal just had baseline, had mixed reviews. The people who had the pencil between their lips so they look sad all scored low, and the people who had the pencil between their teeth where they looked happy all scored high. And that's because the neurons that fire in your brain so when you smile, and this is going back to your previous question as well, when you smile or you laugh, our brain, even if it's a fake one, our brain goes, oh, I must be I'm laughing. I'm smiling. I must be happy.
Speaker 2:Something good must be happening. But it releases the serotonin. It right. So this is my job now. When I'm happy, I release these chemicals, and I feel this way.
Speaker 2:And you trick the brain into into thinking, oh, actually, I'm I'm in a good mood. That's where laughter therapy comes in. That's also what happens when, like, it's dark. So you're tricking the brain and thinking, oh, actually, it's nighttime. Does it your brain just fires off routines?
Speaker 2:Like yeah.
Speaker 1:It's so fascinating. I am and I have I'm gonna ask you this tell this again because it's just been absolutely transformational for me. So I jumped on one of Ryan's mental health calls, gosh, months ago now, but it was my first one. And I was talking about how I was afraid that I was slipping back into negative habits. And you know how did I stop myself from feeling sad and you gave me really good advice around doing what makes me happy when I feel sad rather than doing makes me feel sad when I'm sad.
Speaker 1:I was just wondering if you could talk a little bit about that too Ryan.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah of course. You know Jack, I think something that I want to say to everyone that would listen, even if you're not a Turtle member, I've absolutely loved being part of the group and it's been an honor and a privilege to even be asked to do it. I've been badgering Scott for most of our friendship when he started Turtle. Get me on. I can do this.
Speaker 2:I can do it. Trust me. Give me a go. So when he asked me to jump on, first of all, was like as a guest, then it just kind of went on from there. I honestly have absolutely loved it, and I love it because I'm able to see you guys' journey.
Speaker 2:And out like, our group is obviously, I hear your struggles, and week after week, you show up. And week after week, I watch you, like, improve. And, you know, just there there's so many of you on there that when I look at you, and I've I've got a good memory. I remember literally everything to the finer details. So I remember your first call when when you came to your first session, and I remembered the first time, you know, you had the you had the mic.
Speaker 2:And I look at you now when I see a completely different person. And, you know, there's a few on there. Things that they said that they can't do is now that they're doing in their sleep. You know, things that they would normally do like self sabotage and just falling off things have really cracked the code in understanding yourself. And just, know, when you understand yourself wholeheartedly, you know what little tweaks to make.
Speaker 2:I know that when I'm feeling sad, I do this. And that's the thing I always say people to do. So when we're depressed, we do depressing things. And there's no there's no, like, secret with this. You do depressing things, you're gonna feel depressed.
Speaker 2:You know? So if you're someone who is sociable, like, when I'm in a good place, I I've got a good routine. I get up early. I I sleep well. I get up early.
Speaker 2:I go to the gym. I'm in work. I socialize well. I speak to my friends and family. I go out.
Speaker 2:I eat well. I I take care of myself. When I'm not in a good place, I want to avoid everything. I tend to not get up till because I'm not sleeping very well in the night, then I'm just like delay my alarm snooze snooze snooze. I don't go to the gym.
Speaker 2:Perhaps I'm not taking care of myself. You know? Perhaps I'm not showering till the late afternoon. I avoid people. I avoid going out.
Speaker 2:I avoid speaking to my friends and family. You know? Maybe I'll be off work, and I just reach for, like, your fast foods and, you know, just because you can't be bothered to cook, and you're just reaching for that kind of like sugar rush. So when I'm in a good place, it's completely opposite. I do the complete opposite things to what I do when I'm in a bad place.
Speaker 2:And that's the thing is writing those two things down. And this is the motivation for you to, like, get up in the morning is, like, writing those things down, having them on your phone, have those two columns. Because you'll know what you do when you're in a bad when you're feeling low, when you're feeling like you can't be bothered. You know what patterns of behaviors you do, the things that you do. And write those two down even if it's on a sheet of paper and it's in your bathroom mirror or next to your bedside table, and look at it and start doing more of the things that you do when you're in a good place.
Speaker 2:Just show up. I'm not asking you to enjoy it. I'm just asking you to show up, and the enjoyment will come. Yes. Keep to that routine.
Speaker 2:Keep doing the things that you would normally do when you're in a good place. And I promise you'll come out of that that depression much quicker because, yeah, if you keep doing the bad stuff, you're gonna feel like keep doing bad, you're gonna feel more bad.
Speaker 1:I love that. I'm gonna I've got a few mentors that I've picked up through, you know, the community and everyone. And one is we can do hard things, and my next one is gonna be just show up now. Right? So everyone has one thing to carry from this podcast this morning, out there and just show up.
Speaker 2:Do you know I think like one of the biggest things with life is that you know, we worry and we we sweat the small things, and and I really try not to do that. You know, if something stresses me out at work or something bad happens in the day, I kind of looked at, okay, this is bad, but actually, through struggles is growth. And, you know, I think there's definitely worse things that could happen. You know? And the thing is with life is that, you know, you're worrying about something small in in work.
Speaker 2:You know? I don't know. Somebody's nicked your pen. You know? Something's something is just as minor micro stress, but you have a few of those, and all of a sudden it starts to get on top of you.
Speaker 2:But to be honest with you, when you look at the grand scheme of things, like, it's just work. And if you didn't have work, like, you could find another job, definitely. You know, money I think we get we get so bogged down with money. I look at me. On paper, over the last year, I have gone up like, oh gosh, I don't want to sound like too thin, but like I've gone up I would say £15,000 in pay.
Speaker 1:A
Speaker 2:year in my in like, you know, what on paper that's what it says. Yeah. In my monthly in my monthly take home, it's honestly it's like 200 and something pound. And, you know, we get so caught up in, like, you know, oh, I need to earn more money. I need to get know, people are, like, striving for this.
Speaker 2:It doesn't make any difference. You've lived to your means. That £200 has done nothing for me. Yeah. And if if my job is way less stressful, by the way, which is a good thing.
Speaker 2:But if it was more stressful, I'd be honestly considering, well, actually, what why am I trading a lot more stress for not a lot more money? Yeah. Because we get caught up in those things, and you have to look at the reality of it. What's important to you, and what's important to me is my friends and family. That's the number one thing for me.
Speaker 2:My own health, being able to do and live the life the way that I wanna live it. And if you can't do that, if you're, you know, whether it's a friendship, relationship, job, if you're not happy, kick it.
Speaker 1:Like get
Speaker 2:rid of it.
Speaker 1:It's interesting though because I think when people are in those kind of really heavy work situations and it becomes part of your identity that I am a person who earns this amount of money or I'm a person who has this sort of role or prestige or identity. That what's so unsettling about change is that if you don't have a good sense of who you are, then a change in that way can just absolutely rock you. I think, you know, so much of the work we do with Kirtle is really understanding yourself and understanding what brings you joy and understanding your why. And the more we can strip back down to that core identity, actually the greater freedom it gives us from things like money and title and you know defining ourselves to the world.
Speaker 2:Yeah and do you know like those titles when you strip it all back if you were to die tomorrow does it really matter? You know something we talk about a lot on my Q and A's is like work situations. I I I swear it was a period of time that nearly everyone had work stress there. And, you know, honestly, if something was to happen tomorrow, your job is being advertised on Monday.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You're you're replaceable at work. But I tell you where you're not replaceable, Jack, is in your family. The gaping hole that you would leave there. You're not replaceable at home. And that's the thing that we need to remember is that, you know, because sometimes our work stress starts to boil over into at home.
Speaker 2:And, you know, all of a sudden you're not present and you're not think you know, I spoke to to to my wife about this yesterday. So I just wanna get clear the elephant in the room. We spoke about it last night. My my father-in-law passed away two days ago after a short struggle with cancer. And, you know, he so we found out obviously pre pandemic, and he just had like he got hit at every hurdle basically.
Speaker 2:He had prostate cancer, which most men die of old age before they die of prostate cancer. Well Andrew being Andrew was just someone who was unique, and he had to be the one one percent of people had a cancer form of cancer that one percent of people have. And you know, it was aggressive and it quickly escalated and stuff, but it was a period of time where he was especially when my daughter was first born, he was coming down and staying with us for he would come down on a Sunday, and he would go on, like, a Wednesday, Wednesday morning. And I was talking in the car to my wife yesterday, and I was gutted because at that period of time, I was in work, and I was speaking to, like, 26 patients a day, half hour appointments back to back. And I kept saying to work, I was so stressed because I was just getting no, like, decompression, no time to just decompress in between calls, and I was just going from suicidal patient to suicidal patient because the pandemic was it was at its height then, there were so many depressed people.
Speaker 2:And I remember coming home and just being completely emotionally just drained. I love my job and I love helping people, but I knew in myself that my job at that time was just starting to boil over, and I remember him being there and us having like superficial conversation, not the type that we would normally have. Because I was just so drained at the end of the day. I've come home and just, you know, I'd just be like, oh my god. I just want to sleep.
Speaker 2:And I remember just, you know, that for me is a lot of that's regretful that I wasn't able to be wholly present when he was there. And for me, I consider that as wasted time with him, and, you know, that's something that I regret. But do you know what? I did something about it quickly. I got out of the job because I knew that it was boiling over into my kind of personal and family life, and nothing is more important than that.
Speaker 2:But you might be the person where nothing is more important than work, so you've got your own business, Jack. Know? But this is you know, you might be the type of person that nothing is more important than succeeding in that, and if that is something that's gonna come first, then you're you're happy to take on that kind of intermittent stress, providing that it's intermittent, providing that it's not consistent and constant Yeah. Because you will just become burnt out. But you have to know what's important to you.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And I'd say a lot of people have asked me, you know, how do you start a business? Or, you know, what do I do next? I'm unhappy in my career. I go to, you know, again, what we were just talking about, if you have a good sense of who you are, and you have people around you who love you, then just give it a go because you're not going to lose yourself by trying something new.
Speaker 1:If anything, you're going to learn more about yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And it's Odvium in Envium Odfasium. If you can't find a way, make one, is a motto that I've tried to follow for the last, like, ten years. And I think ten years ago, I got it tattooed on me. Love it.
Speaker 2:Just so I could stick with it. So, yeah, if you can't find a way, make one. And I think, you know, when you want to succeed, there's a way to succeed. You just gotta just gotta find that way, and that's sometimes digging in deep. You know?
Speaker 2:Look. If I have to do if, you know, if we were in, like, financial trouble or needed something to, you know, to for my family, I'd go and get a second job in McDonald's if needed be. Do know what I mean? It's like, you know, it's kind of and I hear Scott say this all the time, it's losing the ego and just doing what's needed rather than doing what's wanted. You know?
Speaker 2:And, yeah, I think that's that's something that's important as well is that you just gotta dig. And no matter what it is, you just gotta dig in, dig deep, and do what's needed to pull you through the other end even if you don't wanna do it. Including getting up out of bed. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Get up. Get up. Get up. If you're sitting at home in bed listening to this or sitting on the couch, get up and start moving, people. It can only bring you more joy.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Exactly. You know, a couple of things that I've been asked a lot as well recently is about, like, and and perhaps, like, you know, struggling with like being bullied at work or someone within the friendship group, like really, you know, starting to to like get to people. And I think we're perhaps, you know, sometimes in life people have like comments and, you know, snide comments and really look for a rise out of other people. Unfortunately, there are a few of those out there.
Speaker 2:And something that I that I just want to say to people is give them what they deserve, not what they want. Yeah. And I think the biggest thing is is when someone is guarding you and and picking on you, they're thriving off your reaction, your response, and kind of, you know, the feeling that they have you under their control. And you're giving them what you want by responding. Give them what they deserve, and that what they deserve is none of your energy.
Speaker 2:None of your response. So just actually, I think it's it's just ignoring them. It's just giving them what they deserve which is nothing. You know, I think that's an important message for people definitely.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna ask you one final question which I did actually ask you yesterday so you have some time to think about it but I'll ask you for consistency. You've been given a turtle you can't give it away or sell it what is Ryan Williams going to do with the turtle?
Speaker 2:My answer hasn't changed Jack and I did think about it. I would take the turtle in as my own. I'd give him probably a crazy name and we would be ninja turtles. I'd take him in as my own and care for it. I think I responded yesterday, well, I care for it, obviously.
Speaker 2:What other what other answers are there? And then you came out with the answers, which, yeah, were were were quite funny. Yeah. My thing is I can't see anything else that I would do with it. I would just take it in and care for it and raise it as my own.
Speaker 1:I love it. I love it. Well, thank you so much for your time this morning and obviously incredibly grateful for even more reasons. One, you've had to do this twice and I we've all benefited from it and it's very generous of you. And second of all, obviously, condolences about the passing of your father-in-law, but what a great memory to share with everybody.
Speaker 1:And, yeah, we'll we'll we'll keep him in our thoughts and all your family in our thoughts over the next week.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Jack. You know, we spoke about this yesterday. You know, he's honestly an incredible guy. And, obviously, it only happened a couple of days ago, but I'm so glad that he's, like, now at peace, and it happened in the best possible way, honestly, like, with all of us surrounded by him. And it was very, very peaceful.
Speaker 2:You know, through my job, unfortunately, I've seen quite a lot of death. And he's the first person that I've ever seen with his eyes closed when they passed away, which was nice as comforting for me. And oh god. That sounds morbid for first thing in the morning. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But, you know, yeah, honestly, he was such a great guy, and and, you know, we spoke about it more yesterday. Be honest, Jack. Yesterday's podcast was much better than this. You know, this is just a tribute to remember, guys, that this podcast yesterday last night was the best episode there's ever been.
Speaker 1:It's not true. It's something sweetie. Clearly, it's Kurt. I promise.
Speaker 2:But like I said yesterday, you know, the reason why I showed up last night is because talking is therapy. And, you know, like I said to you guys, you last night, and I say it quite often is that, like, I'm not just talking the talk. I want to walk the walk with you. If I'm asking you to do things, then I'm doing it myself. And if it was one of you guys that had lost somebody, I'd be saying to you, show up.
Speaker 2:Just show up. Take time for yourself, which I have. Take some time off work, but stick to your routines. I'm going to the gym, you know, and and I'm talking and I'm opening up. That's the best thing that you can do.
Speaker 2:So if I'm asking you to do it, I'm there walking it with you. I'm I'm I'm there doing it myself. So if anything, I hope that this can be a good example for for for you guys that, you know it definitely works, definitely helps.
Speaker 1:You're an absolute legend. Thank you for walking with us this morning Ryan and everyone listening have a wonderful day and yeah we'll see you tomorrow.
Speaker 2:Thank you Jack.
