Louise's story and what we can learn from opening up
Hello, everyone. How are you doing? So today's voice note, we're gonna talk a bit about how amazing the turtle membership community is. For this reason, Louise did a post in our community app a few days ago about, you know, in detail about what what happened to her in a in, you know, through that traumatic experiences she's gone through and to open up and talk about that so soon is incredibly brave. But it shows a huge amount of leadership as well because for her to go through that, to share the journey, what's going to work for some of the therapies she's trying this and that and being so vulnerable has opened up a community for loads of comments from other people, our members sharing what they've gone through.
Speaker 1:And some of the stories just so, you know, fair play to you all. Like, can't explain how immensely, like, powerful essentially all the women are in this group and some of the men as well to go through what they've gone through. Like, I'm not gonna name names but some people have gone through some people saying they've gone through you know last pregnancy contracted swine flu and placed in an induced coma for twenty eight weeks to find the baby in ICU medically, mentally unwell as well you know to go through that and the counseling medication and counselling I was very resistant but I cannot stress so much this has helped me. You know taking the medication that you think might be taboo like antidepressants is a common theme. Look if if you need to take antidepressants they take a while to work to help you through such traumatic experiences.
Speaker 1:You need to use all the tools available. You know, don't there's nothing wrong with seeking out counseling as well you know people are no that's not gonna help me. But it does, it can help. You need to try everything, don't be scared to that's what a lot of these posts are saying. Know go through a few more people saying that you know Louise asked for advice basically from people and it's just amazing this advice and love coming back towards her.
Speaker 1:So if you need to take antidepressants do listen to the professionals I went on them for when I was 31, ten years ago like you would in one two, I wanted to do with myself but after an hour with a doctor went on them I told myself I would be on them a year as I didn't want to be on them forever. Eleven months later I came off them but it was the right choice it helped my brain just to deal and understand with what happened to me. Okay. Another post bar. Important.
Speaker 1:Look, I'm not saying go on and everyone's going under the bus. No. I'm saying is speak to people, get help. If you're going through traumatic experiences, you're still dealing with something that's happened and you haven't processed it, There's help out there. And it's amazing to see so many people who are now on the turtle membership looking to help improve their health and fitness and learn about philosophy, learn about life and all that.
Speaker 1:And I've gone through all this at the same time without anyone knowing. Do know I'm saying? So how many more people are going through these things we don't know? And then we come up with a jab bullshit health and fitness jargon that's like, you know, no pain, no gain. You know, all this stuff that you have to and it's hard because if you don't go through yourself, how can you know?
Speaker 1:How can you kind of be empathetic to it? Because you don't really know. You might think, you know, maybe one percent of people go through such things. But I would say it's far higher. You know there's a study on, they did in America looking at you know the criteria for someone to have like a mental health issue essentially and what they found was that might be a small percentage.
Speaker 1:What they found was fifty two percent of people would have been you know like tick box mental health issues. Fifty two percent of people would have been diagnosed with that and they were like that's the number shocked them it was so high they didn't think so it's more it's more it's like what's the word the average is more normal maybe now to have you know mental health issues than not to have them. So why is this still such a taboo thing? So we have to when we help people, when we coach people and when we look at communities, one of the things we need to do is to make sure that it's a safe safe place that people can be vulnerable to share their experiences because people are listening. That's the main thing.
Speaker 1:Find someone to listen. And when I say listen, actually listen, not try and interject you, not try and answer for you, not try and share that experience right back at you, just to listen for a bit, just listen, let you speak. It's very important. Without this part and unfortunately a lot of our friends don't listen. There's a few memes in this like someone says big, you know, problems happen to them and then, you know, the friend replies, ah, shit.
Speaker 1:You know I mean? It's like, that's it. Maybe we don't have to say much, but knowing someone's listening is very powerful and that's hopefully what we do with our community. That's why we bring in a mental health expert like Brian Williams because sometimes when you open these cans of worms about what's happened in the past and speaking about it, you know, it's very emotional, and you need someone on hand who's an expert. People deal with that.
Speaker 1:Can't just open this up for people and like leave it free for all. Sometimes that works and it's good to have a chat and people love it. But again this needs you need to have that professional then knowing you can reach out to them and get seek help because without that outlet it might be even more anxiety inducing as you don't really know what's happening. Does that make sense? So let's go through a few more points.
Speaker 1:I'm not gonna name names and, you know, not sharing too many details about each comment. But, so another comment here saying that I heard you relate, needed constant reinsurance and only really feeling safe when you get from healthcare pros. I was really with the brain virus once and I would get so scared that I didn't want to go to bed or go to sleep because I scared I wouldn't wake up in the morning. I had so many misdiagnosis that was really poorly and affected every system in my body that coupled with anxiety about it. I felt like my entire body was betraying me.
Speaker 1:It took a long time and slowly started to trust it again, started to recognize what fears were real and what were anxiety, what literal feelings in my body were to be taken seriously and what were the reactions anxiety. I hadn't really experienced real anxiety before and I couldn't believe the extent of how they can manifest physically chest pains, twinges all over the body, numb hands, breathlessness, and more. You're gonna have to have this on top of all the physical stuff you're gonna go through sending you so much love. I recommend talking therapy and I have tried great things and I've heard great things about EMDR which Louise is trying as well. Apparently that's great for, PTSD and stuff.
Speaker 1:There's another book people are recommending but it comes with a caveat. So again people going through incredible levels of anxiety. Let's have a look here. I spent all I spent what it feels like all last year struggling against various physical and mental health issues one after another over and over. By the end I was emotionally fatigued I desperately wanted have just one month or even one week where I felt normal and happy and healthy again.
Speaker 1:Lo and behold I've begun this year with Covid. The very best thing you do is avoid fighting your recovery time. Take it as slowly as you need. Don't rush. Ride the waves and try and find some satisfaction instead of talk instead in talking really good care about your mind.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So again, great point. Like recovery, a lot of people try to force a quicker recovery. Things come in waves. You might feel Louise mentioned in a post some days she feels complete joy, and then the next hour it's it's it's a wave down, up and down, up and down, to expect that's probably the best thing to do as opposed to, you know, thinking it's just gonna gradually get better and better and better.
Speaker 1:You might do over time a way of going up better and better, but it's up and down, up and down, up and down. Let's have a look now. Your music is a great healer and can help with moods. It might sound silly, but listening to some of your favorite songs might help you distract you for a bit. Great point, 100%.
Speaker 1:Let's see anything else here. So someone says you did suffer with postpartum depression anxiety, you'll have good days and you have bad days it's important to feel all the feelings and you seem to be on the right track reaching out to mental health professionals to give you the guidance and care you need, lean into your support system and family. A friend of mine recently had a first baby had an c section then was discharged and ended up rushed back in three days later for emergency surgery as well. She had to deal with a wound deal with wound care among other things. Guys, there are some people.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of people going through stuff. Let's have a look see if there's anything else here. I can only say that after the breakdown a couple of years going through therapy starting with CBT it was clear my issues needed more than that and through talking therapies they concluded I was coping with childhood trauma. This often causes CPTSD where rather than one big event it's the buildup of multiple small traumas. I only mentioned this as the high state alert that constant anxiety fight or flight is a symptom and it's awful.
Speaker 1:You feel your nerve endings are fried and constant stimulation. I can't stress how much you have to rest and be all kinds of kind to yourself. I didn't hence the break down. Then I found Turtle and you honestly changed my life. That's great to hear.
Speaker 1:Anyway, trauma therapy helped, led to try an EDMR and is hands down the best and most effective treatment I've had. It's quick acting, immediate, hard but powerful and I felt I had the most noticeable difference. I highly recommend the book. Okay, caveat here. The body keeps the score which is about trauma and physical reaction.
Speaker 1:The author Bezel van der Kolk. Kolk is a massive researcher in support of EMDR. However, the book is very like triggering. Apparently, people are saying, so do only, you know, read it maybe with support on the other side sometimes. Don't know like I'm not sure if it's the right book to read at the wrong time.
Speaker 1:Does that make sense? So make sure that if you do read it you've got an outlet for support there. The advice is amazing. So many people have gone through these different therapies and traumas and come out the other side and it's unbelievable to read these comments. I have the atmosphere as you both, an incredible unit you are, you're an incredible electorate, you're such parents that are so generous, loving, and kind.
Speaker 1:No doubt. No doubt. You'll also need to tip the iceberg. I have two pregnancies. Well, neither neither traumatic.
Speaker 1:I have experienced of PND from my first one. I also deal with PTSD from something else, I can highly recommend EMDR therapy. Help me massively. It packs away all the stuff so you can brain understand. It isn't still happening if you still if if you see what I mean.
Speaker 1:Again, guys, anyone you know, this is great advice. If any of you are going through of this kind of relates, I mean, look into EMDR therapy seems to be a recurring theme in all these comments who've gone through PTSD and traumatic stuff and that book is recommended by many people. So that's kind of a nice next step you guys maybe wanna reach out to some experts and therapists who do do EMDR and have a chat as a next step. Another one, I've had a bike crash cycling home two years ago that wrecked my face and cracked the helmet through, but it's total blank to me so I can't imagine what we've been going through. I can only say things will gradually get better for us all and eventually the clouds will fade away.
Speaker 1:And as you know, you have the support of all incredible people on you and that can only help. No doubt. No doubt. I have been pregnant 10 times and I have three healthy children, three c sections and one emergency c section at thirty seven weeks, so I couldn't relate. I definitely had depression and felt a failure on all levels even breastfeeding.
Speaker 1:I would not latch on. So many tests anyway, eventually and way too long down the road, went on to antidepressants for similar reasons to you. I delayed this, but if a car needs oil, what do you do? Fill it up. Very, very good point.
Speaker 1:I suffered for so many months having huge mental, huge internal battles with myself. Good old hindsight. Slowly but surely it came back to life my serotonin level rose and I could breathe smell and exist again and finally enjoy my son. Okay, amazing. Skies another one here is don't be don't let the stigma of going for mental health, you know, support and maybe even looking at antidepressants put you off.
Speaker 1:Well You might need something to just get you that next step. Again, somebody with post needle depression, talking about your experience of crying are good. I did a lot of that. I think crying is amazing guys. If you're holding things in, have a good cry.
Speaker 1:I was also on antidepressants on my second baby. It took the edge off but did not take things away. Still lots of crying and feeling inadequate. It was hard bonding with my second child. It did get better over time.
Speaker 1:Another one. And again, another point here, antidepressants worth a go, but will 800% work? No. Let's have a look. Anything else?
Speaker 1:There's a lot to go through here, guys, but just don't wanna share too much information because this is a safe place for everyone. I went through a pretty horrific time a few years ago when I was involved in an accident that involved a serious burn injury and similarly resulted in spending what felt like a lifetime in and out of surgeries, ICU and daily outpatient appointments. By accident literally took me out of this world as I couldn't see anybody for months and then when I could I almost felt like I wasn't safe with anybody that didn't fully understand what I was going through. This all also happened over Christmas and at one point I remember being at an outpatient appointment secretly hoping I'd be readmitted then there because it was the closest place I felt like home and the only place I felt safe. How crazy is that?
Speaker 1:I can't even begin to imagine what you've dealt with whilst having the added pressure of a newborn look after but you should be so proud of yourself for having the ability to open up and be honest about how you're feeling. I pretended to be fine for months to my close family, work and outside world which ultimately ended up in severe depression and the loss of a job that I loved. I'd love to say that I overcame everything, to completely honest I haven't and I still struggle six years down the line. Just reading your bravery has helped me feel not alone. So I encourage you to be as honest as you can and don't take no from an answer.
Speaker 1:I'd love to hear how CBT goes. Guys amazing. You are amazing people. Like to share that again. If you're not okay, got tell people you're not okay.
Speaker 1:You have close friends and family, people who listen. You don't have to think everything is perfect. You have to have the perfect life guys, perfect worker, perfect nutrition, perfect life on social media, that if you go through something you're so tough that it didn't impact you, no that's not how we should be looking at these things. And that story there just tells you exactly like you know if you're trying to show you're you're all good pretend to be fine you're just delaying the process, you're delaying it and you're inside you know you're not fine and you know it manifests then as what happened at the depression. So big lessons here, big lessons.
Speaker 1:And again, poor colleague, you're superhuman for working through this and taking one day at a time. That's what we do. That's what we do. New turtle member here in this post and comment show how supportive everyone is. I went through a traumatic experience with my mom in the figurative medical hot seat.
Speaker 1:It is often when they are out of the immediate danger we begin to process. That's true. And it wasn't until afterwards hit me. I had a bunch of talking therapy which helped massively and I found journaling a really healthy way to capture all the emotions to get them out but was something I could close, turn it new page or read back when I was ready. Something I just wrote my plans doodles other days deeper thoughts.
Speaker 1:That little ritual of just opening up each day helped me process. My mum who went through the worst of the trauma just had tiny little goals to help her progress. I am talking super tiny. Example walk up one step no banister to the next week two steps to bigger ones long term you know attend my wedding and dance all night it helped her having a daily action but also knew when it was tough why she was doing it. Amazing.
Speaker 1:Small and manageable goals if you're going through stuff again when it comes like yesterday's voice note, it comes to health and fitness it's not about taking a giant 100 foot jump. It's about doing the small stuff, know, even if your one big thing is to go for 6,000 steps. You just see even steps. Your one big thing might be just to look and track at stuff. It might be just to do a workout at one point this week or schedule her in.
Speaker 1:I'm saying we don't need to be trying to do super superman stuff. I'll do a few more I know this voice notes getting a bit long but I think this is a such an important point and I just want to share I can't share everything as Lord yet but another one here I personally find it hard to talk to those close to me so found a counselor who had a really good background in trauma, EMDR, neuroplasticity, plasticity, sit, I can't say it, and a few other methods of therapy. It really helped me understand my experience and work through it. I feel like she fixed me. Sounds weird.
Speaker 1:I also think it's really important to choose someone you're not rebond with or you won't get what you need. So take your time picking someone. Okay, very important point there. Just because one therapist doesn't work doesn't mean therapy doesn't work. You might just need to find the right therapist.
Speaker 1:Oh, guys. Amazing. There's so many, so many stories here. And I think I've just seen, you know, a post. Let me, you know, let me have a look for it.
Speaker 1:Okay. Yeah, Jackie, Jackie Gilbert. Gosh, I've been reading everyone's responses to Louise and I just find everyone's story so incredible and I am so inspired enlightened by your words and sentiments. I feel compelled to say something because woah, feeling pretty lucky to know you all and keen to get to know the ones I don't know well enough yet. My goodness what an incredible bunch.
Speaker 1:And this is the power of community. I'm not saying you've got to join the turtle community if you're listening and you're not a turtle member. What I'm saying is the power of an authentic community who are willing to share their experiences, who care for one another even if they're random as on the internet. Okay? People coming with the right mindset, with the right kind of group leadership in a sense like we're all here understanding the complexities of all the things going on.
Speaker 1:We're not trying to be narrow minded and just forcing you know eat white rice and do this and that. It's more we're trying to I've learned a shitload in the last few years, you know, with, you know, speaking to so many people from different backgrounds. Know, if I look at like my lens has gone completely wide, like, wow. Like, now I'm realizing I know absolutely nothing about, you know, all this life experiences. No.
Speaker 1:But we just because you don't know nothing doesn't mean you can't help. Well, how we do help is we say, look. We can know everything everyone's going through but let's chat, let's see what we can do together to help. What helps some people won't help another people. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:But that's fine. If we all keep opening up to each other that we trust and we build this community and we have the right, okay there is methods to health and fitness. Of course there is methods, is no research to show what's best in terms of behavior to make sure we're not doing something that's going to damage your mental health. It's your diet and it's best not to do that. We know it's good to have a higher protein diet.
Speaker 1:We know it's really beneficial to do resistance training. We know it's really beneficial to walk x amount of steps per day. We know this and we bring in the experts to help that. But at the same time, the complexities of getting those things worked into our lives is the challenge. The information part isn't the challenge.
Speaker 1:The challenge is okay, we know what we need to all do. How do we all do it when we're all going through different types of things? Sometimes it's all about realizing we're not alone in the struggles we go through. We're all going through stuff, some people worse than others, but that doesn't matter. And if we can all share the struggles and be honest with ourselves and again bring in some of the stoicism and psychological stuff, Let's share our experiences but for some people it might be a minor thing.
Speaker 1:Let's not catastrophize the small things into big things because we will go through big things one day and we will look back at the stuff we used to turn small stuff into mountains and go, I can't believe I turned someone just saying something bitchy to me into such a day stressful thing. I can't believe I stressed and wasted a full day just because someone did one snide remark to me. Now I'm going through real shit. Do know what saying? So we need to make sure that the small stuff, that we don't catastrophize these things, that we control what we can control and our attitude towards the day, make the most of the twenty four hours ahead.
Speaker 1:And look, if we all if we eventually go through really traumatic stuff, really tough times, we can look back and go, do know what? I made the most of those days that I didn't go didn't have to go through such traumatic times. Didn't catastrophize. I controlled what I could control. I made the most of the twenty four hours and I will get through this time now.
Speaker 1:That's the important that's what I think is important. I'm gonna leave you. I love you. Love you all obviously. And I hope you all enjoy the voice note.
Speaker 1:Maybe, you know, for people who have can resonate. I'm not a mental health expert, so I'm not saying to do whatever that's a disclaimer here. But you know the real message here is definitely to seek help if you feel you need it, you're not alone. EMDR tends to be really good one for PTSD and you know traumatic experiences that book I mentioned as Go and speak to someone and make sure that when you do go on, if you can afford and you can pay on your maybe NHS waiting list is so long, but if you can afford to have a therapist is to take your time picking one and obviously reach out to people because there's people out there that's willing to help and open up to you. You just got to pick the right people.
Speaker 1:So guys, enjoy yourself. Have a good day. Make the most of you today. Get that one big thing done, and I'll speak to you tomorrow in a shorter voice note.
