Perfect Means Never. Progress = Happiness
Welcome to the one day at a time podcast with your host and the future leader of The Republic Of Wales, Sveldfjer. Now this might be the only podcast in the world where you actually have to reduce the speed instead of increasing it. However, what I wanna get over to you is that the past is gone. The future doesn't exist. So if you wanna make the most of your life, you've gotta make the most of these moments every single day.
Speaker 1:And this podcast is gonna help you live a healthier, more fulfilled life, hopefully, giving you some wisdom to take away every single day. So I'm gonna shut up now so you can get on with listening to the next episode. We're back with another voice note on a Friday. So what are gonna talk about today? Well, last night we had book club.
Speaker 1:Every Thursday, guys, turtle membership. Don't mess about turtle.com. Sign up. Get involved. But this book we're reading now is called the gift by Edith Eger.
Speaker 1:I think I'm saying her name right. She was a prisoner in Auschwitz. She's wrote this book in 2019 when she was, like, 92 years old. It's kinda like 12 ways to cope with dealing with our emotions and stuff like that. It's a fantastic book, and, you know, I've been listening to it, writing some notes down.
Speaker 1:And I think everybody should read this book, so just go and do it. I did mention it before. But let me go through some of the things. And, you know, the book club, because it's such an like, quite an intense book and it talks about dealing with it with emotions and not being a victim and all that, it is a very charged book, I'd say, that makes you think. And I think a lot of us don't even have like we were saying in Book Club, how many of us sit down every night with our friends or family and kind of, you know, just chat about actual meaningful deep things, how we're feeling, emotions, and people are actually listening.
Speaker 1:It's not just a monologue between a group of people, a monologue, a monologue there. Like, really listening, asking, you know, doing what he talks about with a motivational interview and a motivational question. When somebody talks to you, you repeat back what they just said in in short so you know they feel heard and it kind of gets them to go deeper without asking any more questions. Because a lot of people don't have a chance. We all kind of just let it's everything surface level and it sucks as shit.
Speaker 1:Honestly, conversation surface level wrecks me. I can't deal with it. It is fine sometimes, but you know sometimes where you're just like, you know what? There's more to this than this surface level nonsense. Like there's a lot of things going on between under the surface between all of us.
Speaker 1:We're all things and people are scared to deal with it or scared to go into it. I think that's what's missing. It's very dangerous. And for men, it's even worse. As we know, with the suicide rates are higher, It is less bottling up and not dealing with our emotions.
Speaker 1:So I think it's important for you all to understand that. If you're speaking with friends and stuff this weekend, you know, him mentions it. Ask open ended questions. People don't wanna get into a fine, but at least give people the option if they're feeling comfortable, your mates. How have you been emotionally this week?
Speaker 1:Have you felt here this week? Are you feeling on top of things? Know, asking them how are they feeling and stuff like that. Actually listening and replying back what they just said is a good way. But let's go into the book a bit.
Speaker 1:She talks about perfect means never big. If you think if perfectionists, wanna do I'll only do if it's perfect. I'll only do this when it's perfect. I'll only start on the perfect day. I'll only do this.
Speaker 1:It just means never. And you know it deep down. You're using perfectionism as a way to avoid starting, to avoid doing something. And I think that is it's a disease. Right?
Speaker 1:So perfect means never. Remember that. Let's just get going. Okay. And she says it takes courage to be average.
Speaker 1:And I agree. It does take courage to be average. Or you'll only do something if you're gonna be the best at it. You'll only do something if it's a guaranteed success. You'll only do something if you don't look stupid.
Speaker 1:You'll only do something if there's an ex like like, you know, something that's guaranteed to happen. And that's not how life works. I spoke about this before, the stoic archer. You can pull back the bow and arrow. You can get a perfect alignment.
Speaker 1:You can pull it back. You shoot there, done everything perfectly, but the wind can come. Anything can come in between the arrow hitting the target, it's outside your control. So you have to be sure. Don't try and don't only start something if you think you're gonna be the best or it's gonna be perfect.
Speaker 1:Otherwise, you do nothing, absolutely nothing, and your life will go by. And she says about this as well, you're gonna die anyway to decide to live. Right? You you're gonna be dead magical time, and I'm talking so many naughts in one fill the screen up, you are alive and the universe actually has life. So she talks about this, so why not be curious to what life has to offer?
Speaker 1:Now she's been through the shit and she's saying about these things. Okay? She talks about being a victim. Why me? People say, why me?
Speaker 1:Why not you? Is what she says. Very you know, that is very out there. I mean, obviously, people go through absolute hell like she did with with her parents dying in Auschwitz when she arrived on the first day. But she talks about people stay in victimhood because it's safer.
Speaker 1:So stop looking for something or someone to blame. Stop even yourself. You're not to blame. Right? So instead of saying that, she said, what now?
Speaker 1:Instead of why me? When you stop fighting and resisting, have more energy. This is look. This is something I've seen crop up a few times in our reading. Krishna Murti, another philosopher, talks about when we have to give effort to something, effort actually creates resistance and conflict because we don't really wanna go think of like someone pulling you back and then letting you go, pulling you back, letting you go, and it's conflict and energy's wasted when actually if you don't need to do effort at all because you just wanna do it for the fun, for the love of things, you're straight out the door.
Speaker 1:That other side of you, the effort where you're going in and out, ah, I leave now? Do I want to go? This energy wasted in and out, in and out versus just going and not even thinking about it because you want to do it, you're unleashing a lot more energy okay so conflict does create this hesitancy, and we've only got finite amount of energy you know we're not the sun even the sun's actually got finite energy what am I on about, we've got finite energy Okay? And here's a good quote for you guys. It's gonna hit you right in the face.
Speaker 1:It's gonna slap you right in the face. And I hope it does slap you. Freedom gives us responsibility. Some of us don't want responsibility. I do.
Speaker 1:I want it. I want freedom, responsibility. This is so true. Right? When you go out there and you're not a victim anymore and everything hasn't defined your life.
Speaker 1:Well, happened to me in the past so that's why I'm like this. Well, this happened. That's why. Will this happen? The government did this.
Speaker 1:This. Why? Taxes are gonna up. This. Why?
Speaker 1:I didn't go to school because this. Why? I haven't got that job because this. I was born here. Look, people are born in good places, bad places, shit places.
Speaker 1:I wasn't born in the best place. I wasn't born in the worst place. It's what you do with it. It is what you do with it. Like I mentioned that poem before, equipment.
Speaker 1:We've all start at the same spot, hands and feet and legs and eyes. The same equipment everyone's ever had. What do do with the equipment? That's the question. Right?
Speaker 1:What's the question? If you're listening to this The UK, USA, Australia, these first world countries, you've got everything you need. You do. Some people have got, you know, their minus. They're fucking way beyond way beyond.
Speaker 1:Here's a few more quotes in my book, I'll leave you go. Enjoy your Friday. Don't even think about the weekend, Diotto, you rascal. Don't think about it. What are you gonna do today first?
Speaker 1:Don't you worry about the weekend. I'll come. Don't worry. She says here, learn to cope with loneliness. Right?
Speaker 1:And when you're in love with yourself, alone doesn't mean lonely. Can you be alone for ten minutes on a Friday at 7PM by yourself? Are you agitated? Are you on your phone watching TV? Can you just be alone?
Speaker 1:Can you walk through the park on your own? Can you go to a cafe, sit down, have a breakfast on your own? Can you just wander in nature on your own? Can you do it? Or do you have to be distracted all the time?
Speaker 1:Can you even walk down the street without looking at your phone? When you walk to the shop, can you just walk to the shop, put your phone away, and just look at people as you walk? Just stare people. Don't be weird and stare people out, but can you just keep your head up a bit and walk? Why is it so awkward?
Speaker 1:Why is it so hard? Why do we find it so difficult to just be able to walk down the street with our heads up, looking around? We have to look down all the time, looking down at a path, looking down the phone. We can't bear just being alone and being exposed in that sense. So I think it's important that we try and do that.
Speaker 1:Something I think of all the time actually when I walk, I spend a lot of my time alone. And I think working, living on my own and stuff like that. And you know, these things, they kept realizations for me all the time. And here's the kick. Here's what I'm gonna finish off with, guys.
Speaker 1:Here's what I'm gonna finish off with so you can go and conquer your day today. So she says, you need to focus on what you need to do to improve. Right? That's the main thing we need to do. Forget about everything else.
Speaker 1:What can you do from now is gonna improve yourself, improve your life. And Tony Robbins actually says, progress equals happiness. No matter how small, small progress, anything, as long as you're moving and growing slightly in direction, you can get happiness from that because you know you're progressing. When we stop progressing, we feel shit. This is absolutely true.
Speaker 1:If I go out on a massive weekend on a Monday, I feel shit not because something, know, you're over the hangover Tuesday, Wednesday, you feel you feel better. You feel shit because you're not making any progress those days. You're slow. You're lethargic. You can't do anything.
Speaker 1:You're wasting hour, you're waking up later, you're not going to the gym, you're getting any steps, you're not making any progress. You're just trying to hold on and survive and you feel annoyed by it. Right? So any types of progress equals happiness, and I think it's true in a sense. Right?
Speaker 1:So we need to look at what we can do today, the slight little progress, little, progress. That's all we need to do on a day to day basis. I feel as happy today making progress. Say now we got a thousand new people on the app today. Probably won't happen.
Speaker 1:Well, definitely won't happen. But say we've got a thousand new people on the app today. That's massive. Huge. But saying we've got one customer for rugby warfare seven years ago.
Speaker 1:That feeling of pro and I say sorry. That's they're quite big things. Let's put it this way. If I get my first visitor on Rugby Warfare back when I launched it, right, compared to another sale today for the app. Right?
Speaker 1:Minor things, but they tell me that the same feeling of progress even though one is much better bigger, you know, having an app and people actually pay in and go versus just having a website visitor. It's always that sense of small progress. It's always the same. It's always the same feeling of, yes, I like it. Let's do it.
Speaker 1:Let's keep going. You feel good about it. So remember that I don't have to be doing you don't have be better at all times. It's not be huge. It's gonna be the same thing.
Speaker 1:Even when you evolve through your life, maybe hopefully in ten years, that one app sale might be that one contract with a massive company to take on something. You know what I mean? It could be something much bigger, but it's still out one step closer in that in that specific goal. And I think that's what we need to do is focus on what are you gonna do today, that one small thing. Are gonna walk?
Speaker 1:You're gonna do your workout? You're gonna use the app. You're gonna track your macros. You're gonna write your first paragraph of the new CV of a job thing you wanna do. Are you gonna, you know, phone somebody you haven't spoke to in a while?
Speaker 1:You can phone your parents or your friends or whatever. You could get that progress going in terms of your relationships with your friends. You're gonna send a a thank you message to someone who's been there for you over COVID or whatever you haven't really said. You're gonna buy someone a birthday gift. Like, you know, the small things that move something along.
Speaker 1:I think that's what we focus on today. Let me know what it is as well because I'd like to know. But enjoy your day. Don't worry about the weekend. Focus on today.
Speaker 1:Make the most of it. And I'll be back. I did say today was gonna be one of our research studies, but guys, we had a good book club and it just we spoke about things more important than a research study. I'll be back on hour with Monday. So tune in Monday.
Speaker 1:I'll be sharing a lot of recent, research studies that's gonna help you live healthier lives. But for now, enjoy your weekend, and I'll be seeing you soon. And that is it for today's episode. So hopefully, you took something away from it. If you didn't, here's what you need to take away.
Speaker 1:Stop wasting time on social media. Stop wasting time gossiping. You've only got a day to live. Today's the only day you ever have. So if there's anything to take away from this podcast, even if you can't understand the word I say, even if you didn't resonate with the wisdom I try to deliver, this is a reminder of you daily to live one day at a time.
Speaker 1:Give your moments meaning today and don't be fooled by thinking you've got unlimited amount of days but if you can make the most of today I'm telling you you'll have a fulfilled life so enjoy your day and hopefully I'll see you back tomorrow. Your daily to live one day at a time. Give your moments meaning today and don't be fooled by thinking you've got unlimited amount of days But if you can make the most of today, I'm telling you, you'll have a fulfilled life. So enjoy your day and hopefully, I'll see you back tomorrow.
