Pieces of Wisdom to Change Your Life
Welcome to the one day at a time podcast where we forget about yesterday. We don't worry about tomorrow. It's what are we going to do today? This all matters because you've only ever had or will ever have the fantastic twenty four hours a day you're about to embark on. So hopefully this episode is going to give you some daily dose of wisdom that you can take action on today to improve your life.
Speaker 1:And remember, all it takes is one day at a time. Good morning, beautiful people. How are you doing? I hope you melted more ice yesterday again, and we're building up momentum. The weekend's coming.
Speaker 1:The sun's out again. So here's your chance now to test out your new awareness powers, basically. I see weekends now, not as like, oh, shit. Like, oh, like, I'm going out again in the weekend doing this. I I don't see it as a bad thing.
Speaker 1:I see it, like, as a as a challenge again. Like, oh, like, can I maximize my, fun, but also remain in control in a way? Like, can I do it? Can I see if I can do it finally? And sometimes I win, sometimes I don't.
Speaker 1:But don't look at it as a negative. You have to enjoy these weekends. You can't go into the weekends feeling anxious because you're on a fitness plan to improve your life. But then when it comes to weekends, spending time with your friends, you're getting anxious about doing exactly what life is about in a way. You can't be doing that like crossover because it's not good for you.
Speaker 1:So see it as a challenge. You can't, it's not only perfect, but live in the mindset of moderation is key. I know it's a boring phrase, but it is true. It's the way to go. But I'm gonna hit you with some more ancient wisdom today.
Speaker 1:Look, modern philosophers, the word philosophy used to make my skin cringe when I was going, philosophy sounds as to academic, has been taken over by the academics and they just like read really old phrases and they tell you, oh, decipher what this means and they talk nonsense about one word. The ancient philosophers were basically like just practical people trying to live a better life. That was it. They were literally trying to live a better life. They weren't talking nonsense.
Speaker 1:They were like, of course, they were talking, but they weren't just like living and just speaking shit, basically. They weren't like that. They wanted to live a better life. And that's the philosophy that I will always speak about. So I'm gonna go over a book by Donald Robertson here.
Speaker 1:So he's a psychotherapist, and he is an expert in stoicism. So he's got a used to work in Harley Street in London. He's, like, worked in the US military giving talks. Like, he's been across the world, and he's got, like, a wealth of knowledge and not just, ancient wisdom, how, you know, stoicism was the precursor of modern day CBT, so cognitive behavioral therapy. But he's actually got the evidence based science clinical experience as well.
Speaker 1:So he can connect the bridge and it's an amazing insight to have. So he's definitely got those two mastered. So let's get on with it. So first of all, he thinks that anxiety and depression are wrong values. That's what he says, he claims.
Speaker 1:Right? And he says emotions are determined by our beliefs. He goes on to say then virtue, which is excellence of character, must be its own reward. Like, can't do something good and then expect a reward for it. The doing the good is the reward.
Speaker 1:You can't expect being moderate and expecting, like, everything to change in your life. Being moderate is the reward. So I mean, like you can't expect like you're doing stuff otherwise, not for the good of doing it before what you're going to gain from it. And sometimes it's not about the gaining, it's about the person we want to be, the person we want to become. So that's the important part.
Speaker 1:Self control is its own reward. So remember that when you're moving forward with your life. So examining matters that required careful deliberation. So Marcus never rushed making a decision and was always willing to question his first impressions. In other words, a certain amount of anxiety is natural.
Speaker 1:Right? And basically, stoic philosophy teaches us to accept our involuntary emotional reactions, our flashes of anxiety as indifferent. We can't control that. They're neither good nor bad. What matters isn't what we feel, but how we respond to those feelings.
Speaker 1:Going red when meeting someone for the first time or doing a presentation is fine. It's natural. Let it go, and it will go. When we call something a catastrophe, for instance, we go beyond the bare facts and start distorting events and deceiving ourselves. We all do this, especially you guys in the group and all the and the wider groups have ever been involved with.
Speaker 1:You know, you do, like, one day off and then people are like, oh, it's terrible. I've ruined everything in the last two weeks. I can't believe it got maxed out. No. Like, don't catastrophize the situation.
Speaker 1:What's happened is you've had a bit more carbs, a bit more salt. You might be coming on your period as well, or less combining till you put on water weight. And you know it's water weight, so there's no point catastrophizing saying you've lost everything you've gained because, one, you've learned a lot about macros you've never learned before. Two, you've learned about yourself, tracking what foods are good and bad. Not not good and bad, but what's worth it and what's not really calorie wise.
Speaker 1:You've started a training plan, you feel better. You've got more awareness of things. Like all of these are massive positives. So don't catastrophize because like I said earlier, it's our beliefs. Right?
Speaker 1:It's our beliefs and our emotions are determined by our beliefs. So if we believe that it's catastrophe, of course, we're going to get stressed out. I spoke about stress before. We don't want to catastrophize and cause our stress levels to go up over something that's not even like, it's not even a catastrophe. Right?
Speaker 1:So make sure you catch yourself when you do this. Right? So when we exaggerate, overgeneralize, omit information, and use strong language and colorful metaphors, she's always been a bitch. That bastard shot me down in flames. This job is complete bullshit.
Speaker 1:People tend to think that explanations like these are natural consequences of strong emotions like anger. What if they are also causing our emotions? If you think about it, what we say like this is designed to evoke strong feelings. By contrast, undoing the effects of emotional, rhetoric by describing the same events more objectively forms the basis of the ancient stoic therapy of the passions. So basically, you're not getting angry and then explaining that you're actually just seeing shit like automatically go negative catastrophizing, which then causes the anger.
Speaker 1:Do you know what I mean? So try and catch it. So you have to de catastrophize, You have to de catastrophize. Decatastrophize. Otherwise, your life is always gonna feel like a catastrophe over the most minuscule thing because you will take it and run with it.
Speaker 1:And does it feel good? And sometimes maybe there is this weird thing that we do like a little bit of a moan, especially in Britain. We love a bit of a moan. But really, you gotta question yourself. Like, is that little moan just a little moan?
Speaker 1:Like, what's the what's the second order effects of that moaning about stuff that's so small? Actually adds up, your stress goes up, catastrophes, you become a person who is can't even focus, you respond you're you're reacting all the time, and you're not really thinking straight. So quite a lot of things are going wrong if you keep going down that route. So you need to reframe every hardship as an opportunity to cope. Right?
Speaker 1:Like I said earlier about the weekend, you need to reframe it as a way, as an opportunity to to go into the weekend and live to the full whilst being moderate. Like you don't have to go crazy to enjoy your life. You don't have to go down that route, you can be in the middle and you can probably enjoy more. That is the crux of it. And here's a good story for you.
Speaker 1:So there was a boat, open water, there was a ferocious storm which lasted the whole night, the passengers feared for their lives, people were running about and this guy noticed that this great stoic teacher had turned white as a ghost and shared the same anxious expressions as the rest of the passengers. But he remained silent, didn't say anything. After the ship settled, this guy went up to him and was like, I thought you were a stoic, mate. Why do you look so scared if you're a stoic and nothing impacts you? And the stoic was like, no, no, it's not about not feeling scared.
Speaker 1:We all feel emotions. It's not about not feeling emotions. We all feel scared, anxious, angry at times. We all feel these emotions, a lot of them are automatic. It's what we do, it's how we respond to them that is the important part.
Speaker 1:That is where the power is at. So you think about everything, how would you respond to seeing that weight on the scales in the morning? Well some people go just a bit of data, a collector, some people will then turn that number into like failure or their life is going down the pattern which obviously is not the number doing that itself it's what you your response to the number is. So that's the same with everything and I know a lot of people don't like hearing it because it means we can actually control things but that is the truth. That is the truth.
Speaker 1:Okay. So we got to make sure that we understand what's automatic, but understand it's all response that matters. And you know, we go red and stuff when we meet someone new or we're opening the backup, you're going be maybe some people have social anxiety. Like I always like in certain circumstances, I can't remember exactly which ones, but I like blush. And I used to be like, oh my God, why am I blushing making this?
Speaker 1:Like I can't control it. It's not me, I'm not being weird or anything I just blush at certain points and like the worst types of people are the people that see it and then go why are you going so red for? Yeah mate because I can control it, it's like an automatic thing but what I do now is if it happens, I'm like, Scott, can't. Don't worry about it. You can't control it.
Speaker 1:It's just it's an automatic thing. But my response to it is actually, I'm not actually nervous or feeling like really anxious. I just notice that I get flushes sometimes, and that's it. And I don't make the situation worse than it is. Some people are like, oh my god, people are going look at me and think, even if they do, what can you do about it?
Speaker 1:Sometimes we can't stop it. So yeah, and it's like, you know, while you play in your head is important because it builds it up. So that's a little bit of a little tip maybe for the people here who want to blush easily. Do know that sometimes it's just not in our control and response is the most important thing. We have to accept our involuntary emotional reactions as neither good nor bad.
Speaker 1:Okay. And if we can do this, we can start controlling these parts of our life. And that's the important thing. Like, you know, we feel out to control emotions are taking us everywhere and we feel like a whirlwind. This can ground us back down.
Speaker 1:Alright. It can help us. So you do need to basically practice it really. So see these situations, oh, I'm nervous, I want to meet new people. Okay, let's reframe it.
Speaker 1:The world's opening back up. You're going to go on a social scenario. Now is your time to maybe practice this kind of like, okay, I'm gonna automatically feel nervous and speak to them. But then it's my reaction, my response to that is gonna matter. And if I can respond and say, look, it's a group of people, I've done this millions of times, It's going to be fine.
Speaker 1:You can then gradually move on and get over it. And it's only that first thirty seconds, forty seconds. Always. It's always the case. Like, there's tactics I do now.
Speaker 1:If I do a presentation, for example, the first minute I used to be bright red and then I'd get into the flow of it and I'd be fine. So now my tactic is if I'm doing a presentation of when the people have no idea of, I'll spend the first minute kind of like distracting them from me so maybe I'll try and speak to them like before it starts, I'll try and say something to cut the kind of tension or maybe try and crack a joke even if it's not even funny. Like I'll try and do something for that first minute so they just don't have complete eyeballs on me and then I'm just more relaxed. So you think about in your way, you think of different ways for yourself. Hopefully that makes sense Or if it doesn't, let me know.
Speaker 1:And then the one more. I know don't wanna go through too much of this book because it's it is is big. But the last thing I wanna speak about here that's kind of I've saved as a bullet is that we should basically the Stoics would basically have like mentors in their mind. So if they were like, right, I wanna I'm in a tough spot. They would think about the person they admire, you know, dead or alive and be like, what would they do here?
Speaker 1:They'd create like a small council. If you watch Game of Thrones, think of bringing the small council into your mind. Can write, what would that person say to me right now? What would that person say? What would that person say?
Speaker 1:And you can have anyone you look up to. And you can basically kind of work out what they're going say. And then you can basically take that advice and actually take the advice. And really at that time, you've always got those like role models and small council to help you. And they would do us a lot.
Speaker 1:And you definitely should have role models. You should have mentors, look up these people, how kind of they will react, would they react in a way that's controlled, not catastrophizing, asking what they would say. And yeah, you'll pretty much have like a mentorship in your head at all times. I always do it. I'm like, what would what's Steve Jobs doing this decision?
Speaker 1:What would like what else do I think about? Like, what would Bruce Lee do is one I use a lot. I grew up watching Bruce Lee films and he basically the fact that I idolized Bruce Lee so much kept me away from doing drugs and smoking when I was younger. Like I remember when I was like 13, 14, maybe younger than I as well. And people were like in the parks, they were like doing like weed and stuff like that, smoking.
Speaker 1:I'd be like, Bruce Lee wouldn't do this. Bruce Lee wouldn't do this at all. I'm not going to do it. Maybe he did. I was like, Bruce Lee wouldn't do this.
Speaker 1:I remember people talking early in the days, even at 15, 16 starting the gym, people straight away, boys always do a talk straight about steroids. I was like, Bruce Lee wouldn't take steroids. Fuck. No way. Like, no chance in doing it.
Speaker 1:And just like, it's quite crazy how powerful I was just because I, like, looked up to this guy and I liked how it was about. And if you read the book, Be Water, My Friend by Seanan Lee, his daughter, that came out last year, it's unbelievable. He was basically a modern day philosopher as well. Highly recommend reading it to see about more of his philosophy. But having these, like, role models is super powerful.
Speaker 1:If you don't have one and you think, oh, I don't need one. Honestly, there will be someone that you look up to, someone that's ahead of you, even five years ahead of you, that's doing what you wanna be doing, that you can reach out to, could be someone you know already, could be someone else. Like, find that person because when you do come to those decisions, they can help you. It's the same as what would a healthy person do that can help you in making a better decision for yourself. Or when they ask the kids, what would Batman do before deciding to pick the apples or the French fries.
Speaker 1:When they asked the kids to ask what would Batman do, lords of them then pick the the the apples instead. It's so simple. It's so simple. Like, we can do it. Just do it, please.
Speaker 1:They like, if the your task for, like, this week until next week, find someone or something like that that can help you with your making. Could be Marcus Aurelius, the the great Roman emperor and the stoic, the stoic, you know, the philosopher king. Could be Bruce Lee. Who knows? Let me know who it is or I'm interested to know.
Speaker 1:But longer voice, not unusual today. I hope you enjoyed it. I'll be coming back to more nutrition stuff soon, but I do like talking with this stuff because this stuff does actually change my life when I think about what's moved the needle the most. It's actually this mindset stuff that then makes the fitness stuff easier, if that makes sense. Enjoy your day, and I'll speak to you tomorrow.
Speaker 1:And that's it. Thank you for listening to the one day at a time podcast with your host, Golf Leer. Hopefully, you understood something I said. I hope that some wisdom kind of distilled through into your mind, and I want you to now action it today. I don't want you to think about tomorrow.
Speaker 1:I don't want you to think about yesterday. I don't want you to think about leaving a review on this podcast. I don't want you to think about going to another website. What I want you to do is as soon as this podcast ends, you will take action and make the most of today. Ground yourself today.
Speaker 1:Follow the one day at a time philosophy, and your life will change.
