Stop Comparing
Hello, good morning. I got a question for you. What are you doing? That's what I ask, what are you doing? How many of you know slack and how many of you are feeling sorry for yourself?
Speaker 1:Many of you are feeling victimized? Or you're a victim to things? How many of you are feeling sad or do down, doom and gloom? Many reasons for all of our lives to have down moments. All of us, every human being on this planet will go through some form of sorrow, right, let me just look at this get this get that out there.
Speaker 1:We've all go through some form of sorrow, sadness, huge, maybe even depression if we go clinically two weeks feeling very sad. Every human being goes through this right and some people have got objectively better lives financially or better jobs or whatever but at the end of the day the human condition is sorrow. We're always battling this. Right? Would you can you see this?
Speaker 1:Can you see that? And no matter the objective thing that happens is different, but the feeling is the same as the human feeling. So if I'm sad, my sad feels the same as your sad. If me your your lower sad and my lower sad might objectively be worlds apart, but it's still my lower sad and it's still your lower sad. And this is where we come to the crux of comparison.
Speaker 1:Right? How can I why should I not why am I sad when someone else is when when I've got some when my life is great, but someone else got a worse life, then you feel guilty? Right? So we're comparing our sadness and why we should others. We do it in health and fitness.
Speaker 1:We always compare. And a quote that's really stuck with me actually is that if you compare, you're an you're inevitably putting people above you, but you also must be putting people below you. Think about it. If you have got an authority, if you look up to someone as someone who's got this amazing body, you look up to them, I wanna be them, or someone's a fashion, I wanna be them. Right?
Speaker 1:You look up to them and then you see them, you're like, oh, amazing, inspired, I feel bad about myself. And then you see someone worse off than you, you feel a bit better than yourself. Look at that game you're playing, it's toxic, toxic, the comparison game comparing other people's side, well, they don't know what I'm going through. That's the classic, right? But if we think this way, we're very if we are divisive if we are dividing, in division there's conflict, I think you can see this, I see it clearly.
Speaker 1:In division is conflict, comparison is division. Me, my sadness versus your sadness is division. Your life versus my life is division. You know, all this division we have causes perpetual conflict. And at the end of the day, it causes to be sad, causes to be down.
Speaker 1:Can you look at someone successful and not have a glimpse of envy? Envy comes from division. Can you look at someone else's body and go, fair bloody play, you look amazing without feeling envious or sad that you're not in that shape? Can you look at someone underneath you in terms of making money or physically and not feel a slight feeling of happiness because you're not them? Right?
Speaker 1:Because this is the this is the truth of human nature and I think this is the the problem of everything. Just this complete division between us and them, us and them, us and them. The reason I bring it up is in in Robert Sapolsky's behavior talks about this us and them biologically us versus them. Is it hardwired and is it not? You know why do we do this us versus them all the time?
Speaker 1:We've got in the level of the family then we've got our family versus their family, our villages is their village, our country versus their country. And it's it's it's it's we're conditioned in this way, we divide everything up. And I think, you know, when you say about your friends, you know, your true friends are people that can see you succeed and go, you know what, I'm so happy that you are happy. Like, that's all that matters. I I'm not gonna feel bad you're making more money than me or listener.
Speaker 1:And there's no division, there's no envy. I think envy this oh, what a horrible thing, envy. But I think it starts. We can we can bring it back to this comparison we do every day. Go on social media for your body because we're comparing.
Speaker 1:So what we do, we compare we put some in it. Why do we put people in pedestals like? Oh my god. They can't. This entire society, especially in The UK, the class system, someone's better than us because they are born with more money.
Speaker 1:Like, think of that. Someone's better than us because they got a nicer car. Someone's better because they got better job or they've got a business or they've got a high status job. We're always playing this someone's better than us and someone's not. Like, think of fucking stupid this is.
Speaker 1:No wonder if we have that as a base of comparison that is this ladder based on objective success metrics that we're gonna feel terrible. Nobody is better than anyone. The end of. We are all human beings going through the same stuff. Right?
Speaker 1:And I think we need to stop comparing, not because we don't wanna feel bad looking at someone else because we wanna stop feeling like we're actually above anyone else either. And actually, I think that's the start of us actually living with a bit more joy. We're not walking around in comparison glasses on. Oh, that's nice, isn't it? That's bad.
Speaker 1:I got better now. Look at that back. Went down. Look at the leg and I go, that person looks terrible. Look great.
Speaker 1:I think I I think the removal of comparison gives way to an existence of potential joy. Do you know what I'm saying? Like it's not so much we gotta chase joy and happiness together. We have to remove these toxic lenses that we wear, which then enables us to see clearly. Am I making sense here?
Speaker 1:Right? So this comparison game needs to stop immediately. However, you can't forcibly stop it. Right? Because it's conditioned into us.
Speaker 1:Unfortunately, we live in a compare comparison. We are individual istic around individual society. And we talk about this in the book in book club, play well with others, which is a really, really good, really good book and it talks about this stuff. Right? The individual human is, you know, is more successful materialistic wise, no doubt.
Speaker 1:But we're actually regressing psychologically. We're unhappier than ever. And it starts it is it is because we are being divisive. We are being our own self, ego, ego, ego, ego. Call it self self.
Speaker 1:Myself myself myself myself. Everyone's a self, and as a self is as a self. And all there is is about self. You you being above someone else's self. That's not that's you know what?
Speaker 1:There's even research in this actually. Like, you and this is in in in the behave book if you wanna read into it. It's a hell of a book for long. We don't actually want to have more success in a sense. We just wanna be better than the person we are comparing ourselves to.
Speaker 1:So like, you know, there's there's even a song right in Wales and there's cars built into me. When we're playing blood, oh my god, there's a song called and the lyrics in there are called the lyrics lyrics in there are, as long as we beat the English, we don't care. So even if we became fifth, as long as we beat England, we don't care. And that's how we live our lives. As long as I'm better than that someone I know, as long as I'm better than that school made it all like, as long as I'm better than that one person, as long as I'm one step ahead of that person.
Speaker 1:That's how we live as individual versus individual. And as long as we live our way, I can't see where we, where we have joy each day. I just can't see it. I can't see a world where that type of lens is any any good. Especially when it comes to health and fitness.
Speaker 1:My god. Like you there is millions of people out there better looking than all of us. And let's not talk about the privilege people have when they look good. Good looking people have a much easier life. Let me tell you that.
Speaker 1:And you know why that happens? Because people see good looking people and they automatically put them above them because they're better looking. They go they treat them better because they go, it's a good looking they haven't worked for them. Born born with better looks. Look in hell.
Speaker 1:There's nothing been worked there. What is the human character behind the looks? But we will we can bow down to someone better look and I'm gonna look at his jawline. Oh my god. What is this?
Speaker 1:What are we doing? Think it like what are we doing? It starts from that, it's pretty privilege, whatever it's called. It's a fucking legitimate thing. They get paid more money.
Speaker 1:And the the know, I think they get paid on average 10% more money for good looking, you know, standard good looking. You know, there's power behind good looks because that's what we do. We compare ourselves that they're better looking, thus therefore they must be
Speaker 2:better than us. Bit of
Speaker 1:a rant really guys, bit of a rant. There's a trigger there must have been triggering any thoughts. Just think like, well that you know what? I don't wanna I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 1:Because I see myself when I was away and I'd see some I'd go on Instagram and then see a story of someone and they're in, like, they're doing a massive cut and they look shredded and then you automatically feel bad because that person looks awesome. And then when you really think about it, it's a so weird way to think. Someone's looking good and now I feel bad. They've got they they've got nothing to do with you. You know, the amount of power we give to externals because we live a divisive lifestyle is terrible.
Speaker 1:If we didn't do this, this health and fitness journey would be way easier. If you didn't have comparisons making you feel terrible wanting to pull you into extreme forms of diet and wanting you to force you to go into bigger deficits, making you feel terrible, binge eating, comfort eating, stress eating, feeling just generally low mood because you see someone else succeed and looking amazing. If we could remove all of those and you could just focus yourself and be absolutely joyous each day and you would never compare yourself to others or let that actually impact you and you're happy for people who are happy and that is it. There is no me versus them. There is no I'm better than someone else, someone else is better than me.
Speaker 1:There's just living, there's just looking after ourselves. There is the complete stress of being x shape or looking certain way will be gone. Right? Because we will be completely involved in our own journey and that's what matters to our own journey and being a part part of a collective society as opposed to my journey must be better than someone else's journey. I have to be doing better because other people are doing better.
Speaker 1:I frequently see comments in the turtle Facebook group saying stuff like, oh, you know, I've been losing weight for four weeks and like today I've gained weight and I see other people losing weight and as you know, I feel bad. Why you seeing someone else losing weight when you've not lost a weight for a week making you feel bad thing is mental. It's mental that we have this ingrained mindset. We must be free from it. We must be free from it.
Speaker 1:We have to we have to see it to be free from it to start with. But it pulls every it pulls you all back. It pulls it pulls a lot of us back. So you stop hitting people on a pedestal for one. We need to stop having any pedestals to start with.
Speaker 1:Only then can we be free maybe. That's a rant. That's my rant about that. But to finish as often as voice notes, really like, where's your energy? You know, is it blocked up?
Speaker 1:Do we have a finite amount of energy in our bodies, in our mind? Or is it that we have blocked our energy because we are comparing? Because if you're comparing, you're in the past, you're in the future, you're not in the present because comparison means that comparison is a divisive thing. So if we're comparing, we never see the now because we can't because we're always in the comparison mode. And in comparison, there's energy dissipation because it can't it's just it's been separated.
Speaker 1:And an example I've used before is you wake up, it's a Monday, you hate your job, you've you're your feet across the floor, you put the coffee on, oh, can't be bothered here today. Next minute, get a phone call. Right? You get a phone call and it says, Julieta. You go, yeah?
Speaker 1:You don't have to work anymore. Company's been sold. We've given every employee a £150,000. You don't have to come to work today. And actually, your best friend has been in touch to celebrate you going for a your favorite restaurant tonight with your friend.
Speaker 1:Right? Okay, Julieta, John, my God, can't believe it. Phone goes down. That person who was just dragging their feet along the floor, sad, right, all of a sudden has been ignited by boundless energy. There's no doubt about it.
Speaker 1:Energy comes crazy energy from nowhere. Boom, joy, happiness, ecstasy. There's energy. So it can't be that the energy wasn't there. It's just that we're blocking it.
Speaker 1:We're blocking it through comparison. We're blocking it through division. We're blocking it through these things. We're blocking it through good and bad foods, we're blocking it through hating ourselves for eating a certain thing. We're always black and white, and that is the black and white is blocking this full on energy surge.
Speaker 1:Do know what I'm saying? Get what I'm saying? So Bruce Lee came to this conclusion as well. It's not about the addition, it's the subtraction. We need to pull away, we need to remove the blockers.
Speaker 1:And in the removal of blockers, things move on, not adding stuff. Right. So, if you feel that your energy is low in the mind, when you can physically feel low because you've been training but in the mind, does the mind really does the mind ever really change in its energy levels? Like is the mind just blocked or whatever? Think about that.
Speaker 1:It's a really good one to think about. But I'll leave you with that. I just wanna give you a kick up the ass today really is to get things going, know, live with a bit of urgency. And that's not to live rushing around, it's to actually understand that, you know, the only time you have to make any change in your life is today. So if you wanna change your life in the future, it has to start today.
Speaker 1:It has to be today. Today is the change. Today is what happens. There's nothing more to it. You know, you can do all the plans you want.
Speaker 1:You can have all the vision boards you want. You can do all the virtue signal, all this stuff. You can do all of that you want. But when it comes to it, you have to take action now, you have to do something, you can't wait for motivation to come. We know by now motivation comes from action, a small step will help it like tracking your breakfast right now, putting your one big thing in the app, like, you know, sending an email off, like doing something, do something right now, kickstarts emotion, which causes momentum, which causes, you know, motivation.
Speaker 1:You have to just act guys, and nothing more to it. You talk yourself out of it, you're doing the same thing again, you compare, you divide, and the energy goes. Well, the energy doesn't go, you're blocking it, you're blocking it up. It's time to let go of that shit and actually enjoy the days more and have a smile on your face. This is a game.
Speaker 1:This this nutrition stuff is a game. Like it doesn't have to be it doesn't have to define you at all. You eating chicken broccoli right doesn't make you a better person. You know, you becoming leaner eat food to make you better persons. It's just a numerical game.
Speaker 1:And have to play the game well, play to your advantage, happy days and everything else is mindset stuff. It's all mindset stuff. So other than that guys, I'm gonna go off now and enjoy my day. I'm gonna really, you know, I'm in the same boat as you like, I'm, know, you think I'm speaking about this stuff, like, was he there some kind of goddess or like, no, I'm like, these thoughts get ignited, read in an insights about the stuff and actually pumps me up to realize these things. Then I, I apply it right now is like we're all go through the same things.
Speaker 1:Because at the start, we're almost the same stuff. Different things happen to us, but the same struggles. And I think the universal answer is to start getting rid of comparison, and it's gonna be automatic sometimes. But it's up to you if you wanna take their automatic reaction and make it something real. So if you start seeing your comparing comparing, you can either watch it and see the futility of the entire process and it goes, or you can actually take that comparison thought seriously and make it a real thing, and then that real thing is another reaction.
Speaker 1:Everything the the mind the thought has is a reaction is an action and a reaction. That is that is the law of physics. Everything is moved by a force on it, and then the reaction to the force. So your thoughts are an unbroken, think about it's unbroken, your thoughts unbroken. Action, reaction, action, reaction.
Speaker 1:Look at that person with abs. Action, reaction. I feel terrible about myself. Right another action. I should do something about myself.
Speaker 1:Should lose my weight. Reaction. Oh my god. I feel why am I such a pig? It just keeps going.
Speaker 1:I don't want to feel this way. Another reaction. You not want to feel it's a keep going. Can you see that? It just keeps going.
Speaker 1:Can you just see that entirely?
Speaker 2:I don't know. Maybe you can.
Speaker 1:Can you see that entire the is a simple mechanical process. It is a material process. It's not this intelligent thing that our thoughts. Our thoughts are basically reading of a script that we've seen that is built into our brain from conditioning of our society, parents, experiences. That's all it is.
Speaker 1:It's not an intelligent solo being. It thinks it is, but it's not. This is chain reaction of nonsense from our experience, memory, what we should think of that a lot. That's all it is. It's not this like lively super intelligence, but we for some reason, we think it is.
Speaker 1:Right? So can you see that chain reaction and how, you know, that's how we work, the mind works. And I think by seeing how it works like that, it can come to a stop, and then comparison can come to a stop. Am I making any sense to you? Oh, guys.
Speaker 1:Well, that's it for today. I've got some real nice research reviews for you coming soon. Meta analysis, all that stuff. But, before other than that, enjoy your day. Put a smile on your face.
Speaker 1:Hopefully, Sunday, if not, whatever. And I'll see you all soon.
