What part are you feeding? Ft special guest
Good morning and welcome to the One Day at a Time podcast. I can see you checking your phone and looking a bit confused. No, you've not clicked the wrong link. There's not a bug in the system. Scott hasn't been kidnapped.
Speaker 1:Today's podcast is coming to you from a very wet and rainy Edinburgh. I'm Jade and I'm really excited to be in your ear this morning. So let's get to it. The mornings have got darker. The air's got colder, October is in full swing.
Speaker 1:If you haven't yet heard about the October Macros Money and Mindset Challenge that starts on Monday the tenth, then make sure you check it out online. There's nothing quite like a supportive community to warm up your soul and keep you focused as we move through the last quarter of the year and into the winter months. Now's the time. Today I'd like to share a story with you that I was reminded of last month. It's a Native American parable.
Speaker 1:An old Cherokee is teaching their grandchildren about life. A fight is going on inside me, they say to the child. It's a terrible fight and it's between two wolves. One is evil. Anger, envy, sorrow, regret, shame, greed, arrogance, self pity, inferiority, superiority and ego.
Speaker 1:The other is good. Joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, kindness, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, faith and hope. The child thought about it all for a minute and then asked, Which wolf will win? The Cherokee replied, The one that you feed. This might not be your first time hearing that story, but it serves as an important reminder of the power we have over our experiences and emotions.
Speaker 1:Our power is lost the moment we become dependent on other people or things to make us feel a certain way. So, use your power to choose which wolf you want to feed. Your inner critic, the evil wolf of anger, frustration, envy, guilt, inferiority, sorrow, self pity, ego. The wolf that tells you you're a failure, who says no one will love you exactly as you are. The one who says you aren't good enough.
Speaker 1:Who brings you anxiety, worry, low self esteem and a sense of hopelessness. The wolf who hands over the power to everyone and everything that's not you. Do you want to feed that wolf? Are you already feeding it? Stop giving it the treats.
Speaker 1:Keep the cake away. I'm not saying that it's about ignoring or pushing away those negative feelings, but it's more about not fixating on them. We believe we have no control over worry, but we actually do. Researchers define worry as a chain of negative thoughts about bad things that may not happen in the future. Sounds like a waste of time, right?
Speaker 1:So, by doing reality checking and perspective taking, we can help not worry as much. Social Work researcher Bruney Brown uses three questions to help with us: Is this thought helping me or hurting me? So that worry, that thought is it helping you right now or is it hurting you? Is there enough data for me to freak out right now? And if I do have enough data, will freaking out help me?
Speaker 1:The answer will always be no. When we guide those thoughts away from fixating and ruminating, we take away that wolf power and strength and they eventually drift away. So, what about that other wolf? It's not going to feed itself, is it? Well, it may take conscious effort and practice not to feed the evil one.
Speaker 1:It also takes us effort, awareness and practice to feed the wolf of joy, peace, love, hope, empathy, kindness, truth all of the good stuff. You already have everything you need inside you right now. You are whole, you are enough and you are complete exactly as you are. That statement might not ring true for you, but it will if you start to feed the right wolf. Give them some cake already.
Speaker 1:Give them the treats. Feed that wolf. You are you. You live your own individual reality. You see the world from where you are and where you've been.
Speaker 1:You are completely unique and capable of anything that you wish. So make those choices from a place of love and a position of personal power. I have the choice and I'm choosing X, Y or Z. This might involve you pissing off a few people. It'll probably involve you saying no more often.
Speaker 1:It might involve identifying where your boundaries are and why and expressing those clearly to the people around you. It will almost certainly involve putting yourself and your well-being first in order to support and serve those around you. If you continue to put yourself down on the list, you'll continue to feed the wrong wolf. Sometimes, most of the time, without even knowing you're doing it. So, let's get you stepping into that place of power and feeding the right wealth.
Speaker 1:What choice can you make today from a place of personal power? What decision can you make that makes you feel good? That stays true to who you are? What can you do today for you that by doing will make the rest of your week easier or better? So similar to when Scott does one big thing, I'd like you to think about what you can do today that's for you that will make the rest of your week easier or better.
Speaker 1:And then where can you reach out for help or advice? Because I truly believe that you are superwoman. Of course, other superheroes are available. You can do anything, but you can't always do everything. We're not designed to live in isolation, to do it all alone.
Speaker 1:Community and connection are at the core element of who we are. Reach out and ask for some help. So again, what choice can you make today from a place of personal power? What can you do today for you that by doing makes the rest of your week easier or better? Where can you reach out for help or advice?
Speaker 1:Because even superheroes can't do it all by themselves. I hope the day ahead is absolutely everything that you need it to be. Which wolf will you feed?
